Her Page #8

I don't like who I am right now.

I need some time to think.

F***.

Just punch me in the face.

Just mash my skull

in the corner of your desk.

Sh*t.

Wow, Theo, that is a rough night.

I don't know what I want, ever.

I'm just always confused.

She's right, all I do is hurt

and confuse everyone around me.

I mean, am I just...? Am I...?

You know, Catherine says

I can't handle real emotions.

Well, I don't know if that's fair.

I know she liked to put it all on you.

But as far as emotions go,

Catherine's were...

...pretty volatile.

Yeah, but...

Uh...

Am I in this because I'm not...

...strong enough for a real relationship?

Is it not a real relationship?

I don't know.

I mean, what do you think?

I don't know.

I'm not in it.

But you know what?

I can over-think everything

and find a million ways to doubt myself.

And since Charles left, I've been thinking...

...about that part of myself

and I've just come to realize...

...that we're only here briefly.

And while I'm here, I want to allow myself...

...joy.

So f*** it.

Yeah.

Heh. I can't believe that cracks you up

every time, Ellie.

I thought you were a genius.

Okay, you little perv,

I will play it one more time for you.

Calm down, it takes a second. Calm down.

Okay, here we go.

Okay, there you go.

Are you happy now?

Good. That's all I wanted.

Okay.

I'm gonna go get some coffee.

All right. All right.

Bye.

- Theo, you want anything?

- No.

Thanks.

Hi.

Hey, Samantha.

Can we talk?

Okay-

I'm so sorry.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I think you're amazing.

I was starting to think I was crazy.

You were saying everything was fine,

but all I was getting from you...

...was distance and anger.

I know. I do that.

I did the same thing with Catherine too.

I'd be upset about something

and not be able to say it...

...and she'd sense that there was

something wrong, but I'd deny it.

I don't want to do that anymore.

And I want to tell you everything.

Good.

Tonight, after you were gone,

I thought a lot.

About you...

- ...and how you've been treating me,-

Why do I love you?

And then, I felt everything in me...

...just let go of everything

I was holding onto so tightly...

...and it hit me that I don't have

an intellectual reason. I don't need one.

I trust myself, I trust my feelings.

I'm not gonna try to be anything other

than who I am anymore...

...and I hope you can accept that.

I can.

I Will.

You know, I can feel the fear

that you carry around...

...and I wish there was something

I could do to help you let go of it...

...because if you could,

I don't think you'd feel so alone anymore.

You're beautiful.

Thank you, Theodore.

I'm kissing your head.

What are you doing?

I'm just looking at the world...

...and writing a new piano piece.

- Oh, yeah? Can I hear it?

- Mm-hm.

What's this one about?

Well, I was thinking we don't really

have any photographs of us...

...and I thought this song could be, like...

...a photograph that captures us

in this moment in our lives together.

Mm.

I like our photograph.

I can see you in it.

I am.

Oh, man. A vacation. That sounds amazing.

- I could totally use a vacation.

- Ha, ha.

Where are you going?

I can't tell you. It's a surprise.

What?

For who? It's a surprise for her, not me.

- Paul, I'm not telling you. Nope.

- Tell me. Tell me.

Wow, your feet, really?

- Yes, he's obsessed.

- What?

Obsessed? Now you have

to show them to me.

- Come on, show them to me.

TPCHANA". Okay.

Let me see.

Wow, he's right. They are really hot.

See? I told you.

- Tatiana, you have hot feet.

- You do.

- They're my favorite thing about her.

- Really? That's it, my feet?

No, obviously.

Obviously I love your brain too.

I think it's very hot.

Bullshit.

Nice try, Paul.

What about you, Theodore?

What do you love most about Samantha?

Oh, God. She's so many things.

I guess that's what I love most about her,

you know? She isn't just one thing.

She's so much larger than that.

Wow. Thanks, Theodore.

See, Samantha?

He is so much more evolved than I am.

SAMANTHA". You know what's interesting?

I used to be...

...so worried about not having a body,

but now I truly love it.

You know, I'm growing in a way I couldn't

if I had a physical form.

I mean, I'm not limited. I can be anywhere

and everywhere simultaneously.

I'm not tethered to time and space...

...in a way that I would be if I was stuck

in a body that's inevitably gonna die.

- Yikes.

- No, ha, ha!

No. I didn't mean it like that.

I just meant that it was a different experience.

Oh, God.

I'm such an a**hole.

No, Samantha,

we know exactly what you mean.

- We're all dumb humans.

- No.

No, no.

sorry-.

Okay, so how many trees

are on that mountain?

Um...

Seven hundred ninety-two.

Is that your final answer?

Hold on. Give me a hint.

Nope, nope, "Ope-.

Okay, two thousand? Two thousand...

Come on, 35,829.

- No way.

- Way.

All right, I got one for you.

How many brain cells do I have?

Ugh, that's easy. Two.

- I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. I'm sorry.

- No, I walked right into it.

- Oh, my God!

- What?

I just got an e-mail for you.

I have something I want to tell you.

it's a big surprise.

What?

Okay, well, I've been going through

all of your old letters...

...and compiling them into my favorites,

and a couple weeks ago...

...I sent them to a publisher,

Crown Point Press.

I know you like what they do

and that they still print books.

- Wait, what? You did what?

- Can I read you the letter...

-...that we just got back from them?

- I don't know. Um...

Okay, well, just-- Is it good or bad?

It's good, it's good, it's really good.

It's good. Okay? Listen.

"Dear Theodore Twombly--"

Actually, I sent it from you.

"Dear Theodore Twombly,

I've just finished reading your letters.

Twice, actually.

I was so moved by them,

I shared them with my wife when I got home.

Many made us laugh,

some brought us to tears...

...and in all of them

we found something of ourselves.

The selections you made

ow so well as a complete piece."

I did that.

"I've taken the liberty of laying these out in a

mockup, and we're posting it to your address.

"We'd love to meet with you and move

forward. Yours, Michael Wadsworth."

Holy sh*t.

Are you serious?

He's gonna publish my letters?

Well, he'd be stupid not to.

- Can I see what you sent him?

- Mm-hm. Yeah, here.

Samantha, you're a good one.

I'm so excited.

We'll have to make up the words to this one.

- Okay.

- Here it comes.

I'm lying on the moon

My dear

I'll be there soon

It's a quiet and starry place

Times we're swallowed up in space

- We're here, a million miles away

-Miles away

There's things I wish I knew

There's no thing I'd keep

From you

It's a dark and shiny place

But with you, my dear

- I'm safe and we're a million miles away

: A million miles away

Good morning.

Good morning. Did you sleep well?

Perfect.

What have you been up to?

Actually, I was talking to someone I just met.

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