Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo Page #2

- The qualifying rounds will begin in eight minutes.

- [ Engines Revving ]

[ Man On P.A.

Speaking French ]

- Douglas and Applegate.

- Douglas.

Ah, yes, Monsieur Douglas.

You're in the heat after this one.

- Good luck.

- Thank you.

That's the same heat

I'm in, Douglas.

And you're going to need more than luck.

You're going to need wings.

Oh, yeah? Well, you may

be in for a little surprise.

[ Chuckling ]

I can see your surprise.

It is very little.

[ Man On P.A.] Attention...

[ Speaking French ]

Look for an even bigger surprise

when the race starts.

[ Man On P.A.] There will be qualifying

today and tomorrow...

with the top 16 times running

in the Trans France Race.

[ Tires Braking ]

[ Speaking French ]

Come back.!

[ Grunting ]

Say, Herbie, where you going?

[ Brakes Screaming ]

- Herbie, you could get us disqualified!

- He could get us killed!

[ Honking ]

[ Flapping, Knocking

Rattling Sounds ]

- What was that?

- I don't know!

[ Romantic ]

Forget the music.!

Whoa.!

[ Continues ]

He's out of his mind.

He's out of his mind,

all right.

Over that luscious

little Lancia.

What is-

[ Continues ]

I'm telling you,

Paris and women have got him.

I'm gonna have to warn him the same

way I did you. Like father, like car.

What are you doing?

[ No Audio ]

- Now, wait a minute, buddy-

- What do you mean, "buddy"?

- Uh, Miss buddy.

- You- You-

- Yeah,Jim Douglas. And I'm very sorry.

- You think...

that because I'm a woman driver, you

can get away with anything you please!

Well, I'm not a pigeon for your fun

and games. I've had it with you clowns!

No, I'm not the clown.

Believe me, it was Herbie.

Oh, yes, you're blaming

your dizzy mechanic.

No, no, it's-

Herbie's the car,

and he's kinda like a person.

He's- Now, I know

that sounds funny.

Crazy,

is more like it!

Well, what were you doing

out there, Douglas?

- Well, it's kinda hard to explain,

sir- - Not for me, it isn't.

- He doesn't want a woman in the race.

- Look, Miss Darcy...

you'll be given another

chance to qualify. We're terribly sorry.

You're sorry, he's sorry,

everybody's sorry.

But I didn't qualify!

[ Man On P.A.]

Attention, Antonio Vittoro.

If you wish to qualify, Mr. Douglas,

you have exactly 10 minutes.

Hear that, Herbie? You forget that

powder puff and get your mind on racing!

You better believe it!

Gilbert.

You're going to cook that

chicken, European-style.

When he sticks out

his neck...

- we will chop it off.

- Uh-huh. Oui, oui.!

Jawohl,jawohl.

We'll see whose neck

gets chopped off. Right, Herbie?

[ Man On P.A.]

Attention, attention, attention.!

[ Speaking French ]

[ Engines Revving ]

You better close

your mouth, turkey...

'cause you're gonna get our tire marks

right across your teeth!

- Where'd they go?

- I really got snookered.

I'm even rustier

than I thought.

Hey! Herbie,

what are you doing?

It's her again!

Oh, no!

Well, it took a crowd

to do it.

But at least we lost

the Lancia.

And not to mention the

first qualifying round.

- Did you get a hold of Double X?

- He wasn't very happy.

Who is? Where is

that stupid little car?

Patience, patience-

Oh, excuse me, sir.

There are impressive racing cars here, but

I don't seem to see the little Volkswagen.

Ah, you mean the Douglas car.

It will be here.

Patience, my friend,

patience.

One more person says

"patience" to me, I'll-

We better have it now, because if we

don't turn up with that diamond...

Double X is going to mark

the spot where we're buried.

Here, here.

Don't dig our graves just yet.

Come on,

let's grab it.

- Don't tell me, "patience"!

- In front of 100 witnesses?

- We need a plan.

- Attention, everyone. Attention.

We would like to show a film of the route the

racing cars will take when they leave Paris.

If someone will catch

the lights while I draw the drapes-

I think the gentleman

just gave us a plan. [ Clears Throat ]

The fine machines you have seen here will

be among those testing the grueling route...

stretching through our fair city,

twisting through the French Alps-

Back up slowly,

as if nothing was the matter.

In the city, the cars will

be able to pick up speed...

as they race along

the French countryside.

- [ Alarm Blaring ]

- [ Man Continues, Indistinct ]

- [ Alarm Stops ]

- ... only by the challenge that becomes evident...

as we approach

the famous French Alps.

- It's not here, Max. The car's just not here.

- ... will test the endurance...

- of even the sturdiest of cars.

- Perhaps we're backing in the wrong direction.

- Just keep backing up.

- There remains the final dash for Monte Carlo.

And for someone,

victory is just a step away.

- [ Loud Crash ]

- [ Crowd Gasping ]

- Herbie! Excuse me.

- You mean, no Herbie.

[ Crowd Laughing ]

[ Horn Honking ]

- [ Yelling In French ]

- [ Horn Honking ]

[ Yelling In French ]

[ Yelling Continues ]

[ Woman Yelling ]

[ Horn Honking,

Yelling Continues ]

[ Herbie Honking ]

Garcon.!

Garcon.!

[ Speaking French ]

[ Sad Honk ]

Garcon.!

Excusez moi.!

[ Speaking French ]

Oui.

[ Yelling In French ]

[ Yelling Continues ]

- [ Herbie Honking ]

- [ Lancia Honking ]

[ Yelling In French ]

Faites attention.!

- Etes-vous cuckoo?

- Oui. Cuckoo.

[ Horns Honking ]

My car. My car!

Has anybody seen my car?

- Oh, that was your car?

- Yes, yes. It's gone!

- Yes, it's gone.

- Did you see who took it?

- Not exactly, mademoiselle.

- Excuse me, I hate to bother you-

You! I should have known I'd see you.

You and trouble go together.

Yeah, okay.

Look, we've lost our car...

and I'djust like to know

if you'd seen it, by any chance.

Who cares about your silly Volkswagen?

My Lancia has been stolen!

- Stolen?

- Uh, uh, your car?

- And your car.

- Yeah.

- I saw them both.

- Then you saw who stole them!

You would not believe this.

I would not believe this.

- No one would believe this.

- What?

I think they steal

each other.

Come on.

[Jim ] Taxi.!

Cuckoo.

Cuckoo!

Cuckoo! Coo!

Talk about a needle in a haystack.

How are we gonna find 'em?

I don't know.

Just keep looking.

- My life is riding on that car.

- Lady, I got a few things to prove myself.

Where would you take a boyfriend

on first night to Paris?

"Boyfriend"? Don't tell me

this is your cute way of making a pass.

- If I had romance in mind, would he be along?

- Right.

- It's Herbie.

- Herbie. I don't believe this.

Well, it's true!

There's something about that car.

He's got a- He-

Well, we've been through a lot together.

Yeah, well,

nothing like this.

Hey.!

Regardons.! Regarde.!

- [ Yelling ]

- [ Honking ]

- [ Radio ]... Bateaux-Mouche. - Do you

think this is something to laugh about?

Forgive me, mademoiselle.

I laugh at the radio.

Two automobiles, they take a ride

on the Bateaux-Mouche.

- Would you believe such a thing?

- Bateaux-Mouche?

Take a left

at that bridge!

[ Horns Honking ]

[ Boat Horn Honking ]

Maybe I can explain this

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