Hercules Page #5

grappled with the Gorgon.

Just like Phil told me.|I analysed the situation...

controlled my strength|and kicked.

The crowds went wild!

- Thank you. Thank you.|- Hah!

You're doing great, son.|You're doing your old man proud.

I'm glad to hear you|say that, Father.

I've been waiting|for this day a long time.

Hmm. What day is that, son?

The day I rejoin the gods.

You've done wonderfully.|You really have, my boy.

You're just not there yet.

You haven't proven yourself|a true hero.

But, Father, I've beaten every|single monster I've come up against.

I-I'm-I'm the most famous person|in all of Greece.

I'm-I-I'm an action figure!

I'm afraid being famous|isn't the same...

as being a true hero.

What more can I do?

It's something you have|to discover for yourself.

- But how can I...|- Look inside your heart.

Father, wait!

On your left|is Hercules' villa.

Our next stop|is the Pecs and Flex Gift Shop...

where you can pick up the great hero's|30-minute workout scroll...

"Buns of Bronze".

At 1:
00, you got a meeting|with King Augeas.

He's got a problem|with his stables.

I'd advise you|not to wear your new sandals.

- Phil.|- I told you, don't move!

DGR, the Daughters|of the Greek Revolution.

- At 3:
00, you gotta get a girdle|from some Amazons.|- Phil.

Phil, what's the point?

That's it!

Keep your toga on, pal.

Yuck! What do you mean,|"What's the point?"

You wanna go to Olympus,|don't ya?

Yeah, but this stuff doesn't seem|to be getting me anywhere.

You can't give up now.|I'm countin' on ya.

I gave this everything I had.

Listen to me, kid.|I seen 'em all.

And I am tellin' you...|and this is the honest-to-Zeus truth...

you got somethin'|I never seen before.

- Really?|- I can feel it...

right down in these stubby|bowlegs of mine.

There is nothin'|you can't do, kid.

- It's him!|- Hey, watch it!

- Watch it! Watch...|- I touched his elbow!

- Hey, girls!|- I got his sweatband!

Phil, help!

- Okay. Escape plan: beta.|- Gotcha.

- Hey! Where is he?|- There he goes! On the veranda!

Whoa!

Let's see. What could be behind|curtain number one?

Meg!

It's all right.|The sea of raging hormones has ebbed.

Gee, i-i-it's|great to see you.

I-I-I missed you.

So this is what heroes do|on their days off.

Nah. I'm no hero.

Sure ya are.|everybody in Greece...

thinks you're the greatest thing|since they put the pocket in pita.

I know, it's... it's crazy. You know, I|can't go anywhere without being mobbed.

- I mean...|- You sound like you could use a break.

Think your nanny goat would go berserk|if you played hookey this afternoon?

Oh, gee, I-I don't know. Uh, Phil's got|the rest of the day pretty much booked.

Ah, Phil, schmill.

Just follow me out the window,|round the dumbbells.

You lift up the back wall|and we're gone.

Wow. What a day.

First that restaurant by the bay.

And then that, that play,|that, that, that Oedipus thing.

Man! I thought I had problems.

- Psst! Stop foolin' around.|- Yeah. Get the goods, sister.

I didn't know that playing hookey|could be so much fun.

Yeah, neither did I.

- Thanks, Meg.|- Oh.

Don't thank me just yet.

- Oh!|- Oop. Careful.

sorry. Weak ankles.

Oh, yeah? Well, maybe you better|sit down for a while.

So, uh, do you|have any problems...

with things like this?

- Uh...|- Weak ankles, I mean.

Oh, uh, no, not really.

No weaknesses whatsoever?

- No trick knee?|- Uh...

Ruptured disks?

No. I'm, I'm, I'm afraid|I'm, uh, fit as a fiddle.

- Wonderboy, you are perfect.|- Thanks.

Whoops!

It looks better that way.

No, it really does.

You know, when, when I was a kid...

I, I would have given anything to be|exactly like everybody else.

You wanted to be|petty and dishonest?

- everybody's not like that.|- Yes, they are.

- You're not like that.|- How do you know what I'm like?

All I know is...

you're the most amazing person with|weak ankles I've ever met.

Oh!

Meg, when I'm with you...

I-I don't feel so alone.

Sometimes it's better|to be alone.

- What do you mean?|- Nobody can hurt you.

Meg? I would never ever hurt you.

And I don't wanna|hurt you, so...

let's both do|ourselves a favour and...

stop this before we...

All right! Break it up!|Break it up! Party's over!

- I've been lookin' all over this town!|- Calm down, mutton man.

- It was all my fault.|- You're already on my list, sister!

So don't make it worse!

And as for you, ya bum,|you're gonna go to the stadium...

and you're gonna be put through|the workout of your life!

- Now get on the horse.|- Okay, okay.

- I'm sorry.|- Ah, he'll get over it.

Move! Move, move,|move, move, move! Move!

Hey, watch it. Watch it.|Watch it.

Keep your goo-goo eyes on the...

That's it. Next time, I drive.

Oh, what's the matter with me?

You'd think a girl would learn.

If there's a prize|for rotten judgment

I guess I've already won that

No man is worth the aggravation

That's ancient history|Been there, done that

Who do ya think you're kidding|He's the earth and heaven toya

Try to keep it hidden|Honey, we can see right through ya

- Oh, no|- Girl, you can't conceal it

We know how you feel|and who you're thinkin' of

Oh, no chance, no way|I won't say it, no, no

You swoon, you sigh|Why deny it, uh-oh

It's too cliche|I won't say I'm in love

Shoo-doo, shoo-doo|Oo-oo-oo

I thought my heart|had learned its lesson

It feels so good|when you start out

- Ah|- My head is screaming, get a grip, girl

Unless you're dyin'|to cry your heart out, oh

You keep on denyin ' who you are|and how you're feelin'

Baby, we're not buyin'|Hon, we saw you hit the ceilin'

Face it like a grown up|When you gonna own up that you

- Got|- Got|- Got it bad

Oh, no chance, no way|I won't say it, no, no

- Give up, but give in|- Check the grin, you're in love

This scene won't play|I won't say I'm in love

You're doin 'flips, read our lips|You're in love

- Shoo-doo, shoo-doo|- You're way off base

- I won't say it|- She won't say love

Get off my case|I won't say it

Girl, don't be proud|It's okay, you're in love

Oh

At least out loud

I won't say I'm in

- Love|- Shoo-doo, shoo-doo, shoo-doo

Shoo-doo|Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la

Ha

Hey, what's the buzz, huh, Meg?

What is the weak link|in Wonderboy's chain?

-Get yourself another girl. I'm through.|-I'm sorry. You mind runnin'|that by me again?

I must have had a chunk of brimstone|wedged in my ear or something.

Then read my lips! Forget it.

Meg, Meg, Meg,|my sweet deluded little minion.

Aren't we forgetting one teensy-weensy,|but ever so crucial little, tiny detail?

I own you!

- Oh, oh, I got another horn here.|- You work for me.

That kid's gonna be|doin' laps for a month.

If I say, "Sing",|you say, "Hey, name that tune".

If I say, "l want Wonderboy's head|on a platter", you say...

Medium or well done?

Oh! I knew that dame was trouble.|This is gonna break the kid's heart.

- I'll work on that.|- I'm sorry. You hear that sound?

That's the sound of your freedom|fluttering out the window forever.

I don't care.|I'm not gonna help you hurt him.

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