Here Come the Co-eds Page #6

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Yeah.

Oh, Mr. Kirkland,

swell publicity.

And a nice picture of you.

You mind your own

business, will you?

- Oliver, the furnace room, quick!

- Okay.

- Oliver, hurry up!

- All right!

- Gee, gimme a chance.

- Yeah, give him a chance.

- I just said that.

- Oh, that's where I heard it.

How are we gonna find out what's

going on in the dean's office?

- That's as simple as A, B... what comes after B?

- C.

See? I tell you what you do.

Come here.

Now, look, this is my secret.

Don't tell anybody, nobody at all.

All I got to do is turn this on.

Follow me. Come here.

Kirkland:
And not only does this

magazine cover make a fool out of me,

but it's a disgrace

to all Bixby.

The dean's office.

Benson:
On the contrary, I think it makes

you and the school appear refreshingly human.

Attaboy, Larry.

And this scandalous notoriety

was prepared with your approval?

Certainly not. But I do think it's

going to prove a real help to the school.

I'll tell you what's going to

prove a real help to the school...

now, today...

the expulsion of Miss McCarthy,

and your resignation as dean.

You forget that my contract runs

till the end of the school term.

You mean you intend to hold

the regents to that contract?

For the good

of the school, yes.

Very well, young man, you'll be

a dean without a school.

I will demand the delinquent

mortgage payments immediately.

By the end of the week,

I'll close the whole school up.

And I'll keep it closed

until your contract expires.

- You wouldn't dare!

- Oh, wouldn't I?!

You just wait

till Monday and see.

Isn't there any way out?

Not unless we can raise enough

money to pay that mortgage.

Is there $20,000

in the house?

- We could take up a collection.

- I have $1.80 in my piggy bank.

- I know the kids'll chip in.

- I'll tell you what we can do...

if we can raise a lot of money,

we could bet on a horse race.

Yeah, all we need is a sure-fire

horse, guaranteed to pay 100-to-1.

I know a basketball

game that'll pay 20-to-1.

- Our team against Carlton?

- Mm-hmm.

At 20-to-1, we'll only have

to raise $1,000.

- $1,000? That's a lot of money.

- You can say that again.

Okay.

$1,000 is a lot of money.

This ought to bring in enough

money to bet on the basketball game.

I hope so.

All:
I don't care if I never dream again

Woman:

One look at you

And all my dreams

came true

All:
I don't care if I never love again

How could there be

A greater love for me?

All:

There was a time...

Woman:

I used to lie on my pillow

All:

Drifting along on a star

But now I find

Woman:

I don't rely on my pillow

All:
I'm on a star when I'm where you are

I don't care

if I never dream again

Since I found you

There's

no more dreamin' to do

All:
There's no more dreamin' to do

Oh-ahh...

Oh-ahh!

It's good for you.

What is this?

Oyster stew.

- Any oysters in it?

- Certainly not.

Whoever heard of an

oyster stew with an oyster?

- I'm afraid of oysters.

- Go ahead and eat it.

Not with a fork... spoon.

What are you doing?

I think there's

a wild oyster in there.

- What are you talking about?

- There is, Slats.

Oh, stop. Look at that.

There's no oysters in there.

Go ahead and eat your stew and behave

yourself. I'm reading the paper.

Okay.

What are you doing

over there?

What's the matter with you?

Shh, quiet.

Would you stop splashing?

What are you doing?

Oh, wipe yourself off.

Here they are.

Hello, Oliver.

- How much money did you get?

- $504.82.

Isn't there anyone who'll bet

40-to-1 on Carlton?

- 20-to-1 is the best we can get.

- We've got to promote another 500.

Yes.

Here.

Hear what I have to say.

I mean...

Hey, wait a minute. I've

got an idea. Don't go away.

McGurk!

Hiya, Slats!

Well, you're good

for sore eyes.

Say, are you still wrestling

for those big purses, tiger?

Nah, not me.

I'm workin' for Murphy now.

That's me,

the Masked Marvel.

I'm making enough dough

to buy me banana fudge sundaes.

Is that you?

Hey, wait a minute.

How would you like

to make $500?

- 500 bucks?

- Now, don't get excited.

What do I have to do?

I am not gonna wrestle

that big guy.

- Yes, you will.

- No, I won't!

- Yes, you will!

- No, I won't!

- I said you would.

- I won't.

You're a coward.

All right,

but I'm a live coward.

- Come on, let's get...

- Where's Honest Dan?

- He's not in here?

- Say what're you two doing in here anyhow?

Doing? Oliver here is going

to wrestle the Masked Marvel.

- Oliver you're going to...

- Get up!

- You want to ruin your hat?

- I'm gonna make a bet on this.

Hey, did you hear that?

Shut up!

I told you to stay away

from those soda fountains.

- Hiya, Dan.

- Strangler Johnson, am I glad to see you!

- Are you still in good shape?

- Sure, why?

I'll give you $50 if you'll

be the Masked Marvel tonight.

- What's the matter with him?

- He ate too many banana fudge sundaes.

You mean I'd get to wrestle

that little guy across the hall?

Yeah.

Give me that mask.

- I'm not gonna wrestle the Masked Marvel!

- Why not?

I'm scared!

Why?

He's as big as a bull.

Well then,

wrestle him like a bull.

Look, just walk into that arena

like a matador,

jump into the ring

like a toreador,

and wrestle him

like a picador.

And they'll carry me out

like a cuspidor.

Come on, get this off...

I am telling you, Slats,

I am not going to wrestle him.

He's too big!

- I won't.

- You will.

- I won't!

- You will.

I won't... he's too big!

I don't care how big he is.

He don't scare me.

- Man:
Excuse me.

- You know...

Oliver! Oliver! My hero!

Here's a rabbit's foot

for luck.

The rabbit had four of 'em...

it didn't do him any good.

Ha! Don't worry,

I'm right behind you.

Feel that.

Yeah, feel that.

That's enough, let go.

- What's the matter?

- Let go, you're squeezin' too tight!

Well, good luck! Ooh.

Oh, come on, get in the

ring, get in the ring.

All right, all right.

- See that?

- Don't worry about a thing.

What are you doing?

Get over here.

Come over here and sit down.

Come over here

and sit down.

Now get with it.

Go ahead.

What are you doing

down there?

Ladies and gentlemen,

presenting the Bixby Bulldog,

Oliver Quakenbush!

- I don't want to wrestle.

- Quiet, everything's all right.

Announcer:
And now,

the champion of all champions,

the Masked Marvel!

If the Masked Marvel

is defeated,

the Bixby Bulldog

will receive $1,000.

Come here, come here,

come here, come here!

- Did you see what he did?

- It's all right. All right.

Take it easy, take it easy.

Listen, everything is fixed.

Don't worry about a thing.

You are going to win this match.

What do you mean,

everything's fixed?

Shh. It's all in the bag.

I've arranged for everything.

Why do you wait

until now to tell me?

Because you've got too big a mouth.

You'd went and splattered it all over.

Now listen, we've got to win

this $1,000 for the school.

We've got to have it. It's up

to you to get in there and do it.

It's all fixed,

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