Here Comes The Boom Page #3

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The right to not feel pain.

No.

Okay, look, we covered this

for, like, 45 minutes.

You guys remember Monday?

You guys remember Monday?

When we went over

this for, like, 45...

The whole class dedicated

to this. You don't...

"Suffrage" has nothing

to do with pain. No pain.

No pain, no gain?

Okay, we're off track.

We are

definitely off track here.

The right to vote?

I'm sorry,

you got something to say?

Niko. But forget it.

I'm sure it's wrong.

Please, look, there are

no wrong answers here,

people. You know what?

I'm gonna stop right there 'cause there

are obviously a lot of wrong answers,

but there are a couple

wrong answers, but...

It's okay, there are.

But let's give

it a shot anyway.

The right to vote?

There you go. Okay?

Yes!

You know what, "suffrage" is

the right to elect leaders.

You understand, right, Miguel?

I do, I do.

Okay, good.

Mr. Voss! Mr. Voss.

Can I talk to you?

Sure, what's up?

I always try to

be a good student.

But when it comes

to taking tests,

I get all clenched

in the tight spot.

If I fail this

citizenship test,

they'll send me

back to Holland.

And things here are

just starting to twist.

I'm sorry, is that good?

I don't even...

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Twisting is good.

So, I was wondering,

is there any way you can

give me a little extra help?

Extra help?

Yeah, you know what,

I kind of got,

like, a full plate right now.

I can't, I'm sorry.

Yeah.

All right.

Thank you. Thank you.

Niko!

I'll move some things around and maybe we

can sit down later tonight, all right?

You are the best!

Oh, thank you!

Thank you very much!

All right.

You can stop that now.

Yeah, all right.

Yeah, we're good.

We're good.

There he is!

Hey! How are you?

Good.

Oh, thanks for doing this, buddy.

Sure.

Scott, meet Koen and Nard.

Koen, Nard, this is Scott.

Hey, guys.

Oh, close the door,

before the ferret gets out.

The ferret, the ferret.

Okay, okay.

Hang your coat right there.

Okay.

He has no weaknesses.

He has incredible

knockout power...

Wow, you used to fight, huh?

Yeah.

Long time ago.

Now I just teach

Mixed Martial Arts at my gym.

Should we study or...

Oh, yeah!

Right after we watch UFC.

Come on, sit down.

Hi, again, everybody.

I'm Mike Goldberg.

Welcome once again to the

Ultimate Fighting Championship.

Since the first day

he entered the Octagon,

we knew Ken Dietrich

was something special.

My partner as always,

Joe Rogan.

Man, what

an exciting matchup this is.

Incredible matchup, you know,

for a bunch of reasons.

You hold for bets.

Ken Dietrich,

Brian Stann, here we go!

Straight left by Dietrich.

He's jumping all over Stann.

He should just double-leg

him, take him down.

Did you ever fight?

No, no, I wrestled in college.

That guy's a wrestler.

Wrestlers make great fighters.

And Dietrich

jumps all over him again.

- He's got the takedown!

- Oh!

You called it!

Ooh, twisty!

Twisty! Twisty!

Twisty.

And he has that

nasty shoulder-lock.

And it is all over!

Ken Dietrich, the Executioner!

Sorry, Koen.

Ah! He took his 10 grand

and ran off like

a Shetland pony!

Ten grand... He made

Yep.

But he lost.

Yeah, if he won,

it would've been 50.

Okay, next fight.

Mixed Martial Arts?

Do you even know

how to do that?

No. No, I do not.

This is crazy.

Look, I saw this

UFC event last night,

and the guy got paid 10 grand

to fight, and he lost.

I was a really good wrestler in college.

I think I can do this.

Do what?

Lose.

You cannot do this.

Marty, look, we only have until

the end of the school year

to save your job.

Come on! Night school.

Oh, great, yeah,

between what I make there

and what you make

with your private lessons,

we'll save the music

program in 18 years.

This is the best

chance you got.

Okay.

Okay, if you're gonna lose,

then I'm gonna help you lose.

Deal?

Deal.

Let's do this.

Let's lose.

Unfortunately,

today is gonna be my last day.

But don't worry, next week,

you're gonna be in great

hands with a new teacher,

and he's gonna be...

But you are new?

Yes, I am new.

But this guy, he's even newer.

Understand?

So, you are not new?

No, I am new, okay...

I'm so confused.

I don't...

Okay, we're going

off the rails again here.

Okay, listen, everybody.

Here's the point.

Next week, lam not gonna be here.

I will be gone.

But I wanted to say

to you guys good luck and...

You know what? Welcome

to America in advance.

Yeah, that's how

confident I am in you.

Live the dream.

Make it happen.

So, thank you and good night.

Okay?

So, I'm citizen?

Man, I can't believe you

would quit on me like this.

I'm citizen.

You know how

important this is to me.

Niko, relax.

I got it all worked out.

But I need to

ask you something.

Okay!

Here's the thing.

I need money

to save a friend's job,

a lot of money.

Okay,

and as crazy as it sounds,

I want to fight Mixed Martial

Arts, but I need your help.

I want you to train me.

You're kidding?

No, I can do this.

You're too old!

And on top of that,

you have no experience.

But there are guys that run

marathons well into their 80s.

Not when they're

being punched in the face.

Come on, you said it yourself,

wrestlers make great fighters.

And you know, when I was

younger, I took judo.

I mean, it was only for

three and a half weeks.

I had to stop 'cause my sensei

got accepted into dental school.

But he said I had

wicked potential, man.

There's no way you can fight.

And that's the end of it.

Okay, great.

What time are we

studying tonight?

You just quit!

Look, you don't want to

train me, that's fine.

But we started this thing

and we're not gonna stop

until you're a citizen, okay?

Okay.

You want to be a fighter?

You start in the cage.

There's a small-time show

this weekend.

I'll get you in.

Wait a second, no.

Fight right away?

Shouldn't we train first?

No! Trial by fire, baby!

I'm a citizen.

You made my dream come true.

Miguel...

I'm going to name

my boy after you.

His name is Sergio,

but I'm going to switch it up.

That's nice, Miguel.

Let's slow things

down a second, okay?

And let's take

a little walk and talk.

Something wrong?

Maybe.

Ow!

Ow!

Come on, I got to do this.

I know. Okay, okay.

Oh!

Okay, hold it for a minute.

This is a terrible mattress.

I'm feeling everything.

This is ridiculous.

I'm not gonna learn

any of this stuff.

I'm telling you,

I'm just gonna wrestle.

I'm gonna take it

to the ground.

It's my world.

Your world?

Your world is

gonna be destroyed

by people who know

multiple disciplines.

The fight's in two days.

What am I gonna learn?

It is what it is.

I got it.

I know exactly

what you have to do.

You're gonna beat your opponent

before the match ever starts.

You're gonna learn the

ancient art of intimidation.

You ever actually

been in a fight?

No. Well, none with a boy,

anyway.

But I know this is gonna work.

Okay, so based on your limited

experience fighting girls,

how?

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