Here Comes the Groom Page #12

Why is Winifred shaking, Adam?

- Adam has forgotten.

- Adam never knew.

- Rock it, baby!

- Stop it! Stop it!

We have to do it over again.

Please! You're carrying the bride,

not a football!

For goodness' sakes, stop that!

Now! Now!

Why couldn't you have done that

before? For goodness' sakes.

One and two and...

That's it. Now you look wonderful.

Stop!

What's happened to Winifred?

She's completely lost her dignity.

She's completely lost her girdle.

Minister, please.

After the address, I ask you,

"Wilbur, wilt thou have this...?"

- I will.

- Not so fast, please.

A wedding should never be eager.

- Please.

- I'm sorry.

- And then I ask you...

- I certainly will.

Wilbur, I love you.

I've always loved you.

Bride, please!

Oh, I'm sorry. For a moment it seemed

so real, I... I thought I was Cinderella.

This is just the rehearsal. Brother...

And then I say, "Who giveth this

woman to be married to this man?"

- I do.

- That's all we need from you,

thank goodness.

- And then I ask for the ring.

- What's going on up there?

Most obvious thing I've ever seen.

Place the ring on the bride's finger

and say,

"With this ring, I thee wed."

With this ring, I thee wed.

- With this ring, I thee wed.

- Say it again, darling.

- With this ring...

- Mr. Stanley,

it sounds like

you're marrying triplets!

They're kissing cousins,

you know, Pop.

Then I pronounce you man and wife,

and you kiss the bride.

All right.

All right!

All right! For goodness' sakes.

And now you take your

new husband's hand, but don't run.

Float joyfully.

- I hope I'm not interrupting...

- Shoo! Shoo!

She has to take his hand and float.

I'm the bride, and I will take

my new husband's hand

- and I will float joyfully.

- Emmadel.

I don't care! Somebody take your new

husband's hand and float joyfully!

- You get out of my wedding!

- Stay out of my wedding, gold digger!

- Winifred! Hey, you!

- If you don't get out, I'll throw you out.

You don't think a Jones can throw

a Stanley out, do you?

- Are you kidding?

- No! No, no, no!

No, no, no...

Emmy, get up out of there

and give it to her!

Get out and give it to her!

That's the way to go in there, Winnie.

That's the way to go.

Give her the Irish whip!

Give her the Irish whip!

Say "uncle".

I said, "Say uncle".

- Uncle.

- Louder!

Uncle!

Coming, Winifred.

- You wrestle with a Jones, will you?

- Emmadel!

And I'm not a lady and I'm tired

of pretending I am a lady!

I'm a mackerel man's daughter

and I'll always be one

and I'm proud of it!

And that goes for you too,

you kissing cousin!

I didn't know you had it

in you, Winifred.

Why didn't you tell us

you were a secret peasant?

Nobody asked me.

And what's more, I can have

a dozen kids, you old goats!

This is better than television.

- Emmy, I'm proud.

- Leave me alone!

I'm really proud.

I never saw you go so good.

I'm proud of you too, darling.

You had me worried with

that Lady Stanley routine.

I fell in love with a Jones and I'm glad

somebody made you realize that.

Now, you come back and go through

with this rehearsal.

Nice try, Mr. Garvey.

A little on the crude side.

Mr. Lilley, let's go on

with the rehearsal.

Yes, Mr. Stanley. All right, friends.

All the wakes I ever attended

had a drop for a man to drink.

- Have you anything around?

- I gave it up on account of the kids.

This, I gotta tell Big Joe.

- Say, where are the kids, anyway?

- They're at the mausoleum with Ma.

She's feeding them.

What went haywire, Pete?

Yes, Emmy did everything

you said she'd do.

I underestimated my man,

that's all, fellows.

This Wilbur's a pretty sharp cookie,

I'll tell you that.

I think he smelled a rat.

With the wind from the right direction,

he could have.

Come.

Stick them up!

What's this, a heist?

Uncle Wilbur gave us these.

Oh, he did, huh?

You like them, Pete?

They're very flashy, yeah,

but it's past your bedtime, you know.

- Oh, no.

- Yes, allez hop, tout de suite.

Take a bath.

Brush those choppers too, Suzi.

I came here at Emmadel's request,

Mr. Garvey, to throw you out

on your ear.

My house is your house, Mr. Stanley.

Good evening, Father,

and Mr. Degnan.

I hope you haven't changed your mind

about singing at my wedding.

It's at high noon.

You don't have to get out till after that.

That's hardly enough time for Pete

to find a house for the kids.

Kids won't need a house,

they're on their way back.

Don't worry about the kids, I've found

a house for them. My house.

- What's this?

- Since you're not getting married,

Emmadel and I are going

to adopt them ourselves.

It's arranged with

the immigration people.

They'll be out in the morning

for the formalities.

- Emmy knows about this?

- She'll be very happy when I tell her.

They'll make a wonderful wedding

present for you to give her.

After all, she and I can do

many things for them you can't.

- Yeah, that's true.

- And they already call her "Mother"...

Makes everything real handy,

doesn't it?

- Well, you're OK.

- So are you.

- It's been fun, Mr. Garvey.

- Loads of fun.

- See you at the wedding.

- Yeah, sure.

You got any ideas?

Well, nothing that I can't be

hanged for.

God bless Pete. God bless Mother.

God bless America.

God bless everybody.

- Good night.

- Good night.

Daddy?

- Good night, son.

- You got troubles, Pete?

Troubles? Me?

- Comme oi comme a..

- I shoot them!

No. Well, not tonight.

Shoot them in the morning, huh?

Upsy-daisy we go.

- Bonne nuit, Papa.

- Bonne nuit, Suzi.

No, chant "Bonne Nuit".

Sing, tonight?

Oh, I don't feel like singing, Suzi.

- Not tonight.

- Hey, Pete.

- What?

- We always leave them singing, right?

OK. Yeah, all right.

Bonne nuit

Bonne nuit

Just dream away

And soon we'll see

A bright new day

Be cheerful

In your sleepy-time prayer

The tearful

Never get anywhere

So don't despair

Bonne nuit

My love, dream of a land

Where stars above

Fall in your hand

And someday

We'll find this where and when

Bonne nuit

Bonne nuit

Till then

Ladies and gentlemen,

this is Cinderella's wedding day.

The curtain's about to go up

on the culmination

of one of the most widely publicized

romances in a decade.

The stage is set,

the cast has been chosen.

The guest list reads like the Blue Book

and Who's Who rolled into one.

Practically all the state

and city officials are present,

and the judiciary is represented.

I see many prominent judges.

In fact, anyone who is anyone at all

is present at this function.

And now, we are waiting for the bride.

All right, bridesmaids, this is it.

This is it.

Remember everything I taught you.

Let me look at you, please, bride.

Wonderful. Wonderful.

Nothing must go wrong. Let me check

each and every one of you.

We could at least speak

on my wedding day.

- Why?

- We're gonna be relatives,

we could be friends.

If I were you, I wouldn't

use the word "friend".

I beg your pardon, but I'm covering

this wedding for the Express.

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