High Fidelity Page #4

Did I? Yeah, well,

I just- I- Uh-

Nicely played.

You know, I dont have that record.

Ill buy it for 40.

- Rob?

- Sold.

- Now, why would you sell it to me and not to him?

- Because youre not a geek, Louis.

- You guys are snobs. - No, were not.

- No, seriously, youre totally elitist.

You feel like the unappreciated scholars, so

you sh*t on the people who know less than you.

- No. - Which is

everybody. - Yes.

Its just sad, thats all.

I'm sick of the sight of this place.

Some days I'm afraid

Ill go berserk...

throw the country "A" through "K" rack

out on the street...

and go work at a Virgin Megastore

and never come back.

- Hello. - Hey,

Liz. - Hey, Rob.

You know, just wanted to call and thank

you for that message you sent me last night.

It really made me feel

like less of an a**hole.

Oh. Well, how are you holding up?

Good. Good. I mean, look, maybe were

just not right for each other, right?

- I mean, or maybe we are.

- Mmm. Yeah.

Time will tell at this point, and if its

time to move on, its time to move on.

I dont know. I-

I dont want to take sides and-

And I like you with Laura.

I think you guys are good together.

And I dont think much

of this Ian guy.

Rob, Marie De Salle

is in the store.

I gotta go, Liz.

- We should maybe turn off her music.

- I know.

Hey. I like the music.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean,

I can go turn it off if you want.

You might be sick of it.

- You should turn it up.

- Oh, right, yeah. - Yeah.

Okay, let me go do that after I go

do something else that I have to go do.

- All righty. Hmm.

- Yeah, I got the, uh- Excuse me. Okay?

What f***ing Ian guy?

Laura doesnt know anybody called Ian.

Theres no Ian in her office.

She has no friends called Ian!

I'm almost certain she has never met

anyone named Ian in her entire life.

She lives in an...

"Ian-less" universe.

"I. Raymond. "

Ray. "I."

Ian.

Mr. I. Raymond. Ray to his friends,

and more importantly to his neighbor.

The guy who, until about six weeks ago,

lived upstairs.

I start to remember things

about him now.

His horrible clothes and hair.

His music:
Latin, Bulgarian, whatever

world music was trendy that week.

He had rings on his fingers.

Awful cooking smells.

I never liked him much then,

and I f***in hate him now.

We used to listen to him

having sex upstairs.

Jeez, he goes on long enough.

Mm-hmm.

I should be so lucky.

It feels so good

You are as abandoned and noisy

as any character in a porn film, Laura.

You are Ians plaything, responding to

his touch with shrieks of orgasmic delight.

No woman in the history of the world is having

better sex than the sex you are having with Ian...

in my head.

Oh, baby, give it up

Aint no use

Number five:
Jackie Alden.

Jackie Aldens breakup had no effect

on my life whatsoever.

It was a casual thing,

and I was glad when it ended.

I just slotted her in

to bump Laura out of position.

But now, congratulations, Laura.

You made it to the top five.

Number five with a bullet.

Welcome.

Wont somebody please

Help me with my misery

- Cant somebody see

- Hey.

Do you have soul?

What this one loves done to me

That all depends.

- Now I know, I know

- Back row, right next to the blues.

Championship Vinyl.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm interested.

Sure.

Whats your address?

- Hey, Liz.

- Hey, Rob.

You f***ing a**hole!

Hi, Barry.

Soarin and borin

I feel I'm ignorin

My time in the world

Have you heard

For a couple of years

I was a deejay at a club.

I was good at it, I think...

and while I was doing it

is the happiest Ive ever been.

And thats where I met Laura.

She was already a lawyer,

but she worked for Legal Aid...

hence the leatherjacket

and the clubbing.

Oh, I liked her right away.

- Hey!

- Hey!

- Thats a kick-ass record.

- What?

- Thats a kick-ass record.

- Yeah. I know.

- Um, whats your name?

- Laura.

Hey. I was gonna say, come back

next week and Ill make you a tape.

- All right. Thank

you. - Okay? - Great.

- Rob.

- I'm still Laura.

To be honest, I hadnt met anyone as

promising as Laura since I started deejaying...

and meeting promising women is kind of what

the deejaying thing is supposed to be about.

And anyway, we-

we moved on from there.

She lost her lease on her apartment

in Lakeview, and she moved in with me.

And it stayed that way for years.

She didnt make me miserable,

or anxious...

or ill-at-ease.

And you know, it sounds boring,

but it wasnt.

It wasnt spectacular, either.

It was just...

good.

But really good.

So, how come

I'm suddenly an a**hole?

I get the feeling

that Liz talked to Laura...

and Liz stuck up for me...

and Laura told her a few things.

I dont know what precisely Laura said,

but she would have revealed at least two,

maybe even all four

of the following pieces of information.

One:
that I slept with someone else...

- He slept with somebody else.

- What?

while she, Laura, was pregnant.

- While I was pregnant.

- No!

Two:

that my affair

directly contributed-

Pretty much directly to me

terminating the pregnancy.

- No.

- Three:

that after the abortion, I borrowed

a large sum of money from her...

- Four grand or so.

- and have not, as of yet, repaid any of it.

The bastard!

Four:

that shortly before she left me...

I told her that I was kind of

unhappy in the relationship...

and maybe sort of looking around

for someone else.

He was "sort of, maybe"

looking around for somebody else.

- Did I do and say those things?

- Yes.

- No!

- Yes, I did.

I am a f***in a**hole.

- Thats it.

- Liz- No. Sit down.

Sit down.

Thats shocking.

That is shocking.

First of all, the money.

Laura had it and I didnt.

And she wanted to give it to me.

Ive never been able to pay her back

because Ive never been able to.

Just because she moved in

with some Supertramp fan...

it doesnt make me

five grand richer.

And number two, this stuff about me

half-looking around for someone else?

She tricked me into saying it.

We were having this State-of-the-Union

type conversation...

and she said, quite matter of factly,

that we were pretty unhappy at the moment.

And did I agree?

And I said yes.

And she asked me whether I ever

thought about meeting other people.

So then I asked her if she ever

thought about meeting someone else.

She says, "Of course. " So I admit that,

yes, I daydream about it from time to time.

Now I can see what we were really

talking about is her and Ian...

and she suckered me

into absolving her.

It was a sneaky lawyers trick

and I fell for it...

because shes much smarter

than me.

All right, then the pregnancy.

I didnt know she was pregnant.

Of course I didnt.

I didnt know

because she hadnt told me.

She hadnt told me because I had told her that I had sor

- Yes, Id slept with someone else.

So I didnt find out she was pregnant

till way later.

We were going through this good period and

I made some crack about having kids and-

- What?

- and she just burst into tears.

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