High Road Page #8

to see his dad. Dad.

His own dad.

His dad Arnie.

But Fitz said that he doesn't

have a relationship with him.

Well, 'cause he's embarrassed, and

he didn't know he was gonna do,

and I guess he does now.

Apparently his dad's sober and

trying to get his sh*t together.

And he just didn't

f***ing tell me about this.

Who the f*** am I living

with, Jason Bourne?

Let me look at it. I'm gonna lift your sleeve.

It's probably gonna hurt.

Keep your head up.

Keep your head up.

All right?

Ohh, gross! What? What?

Is it okay? Gross! Yeah.

Ohhhh! F***!

Keep your arm straight.

All right?

I'm kind of jealous.

Why the f*** are you jealous?

Dude, that's rad! It's awesome!

That f***ing hurt.

Hon, can I come in?

Yeah, you can come in.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

I've been better.

Well, you know that Jason Bourne

isn't a real person, right?

Yeah.

They just made him up

for a movie.

Yeah, I know.

I have something here for you.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. It's called Airborne. Oh.

It was invented by a teacher...

a teacher of children.

I know when I'm feeling kind of

down, I like to make myself up one.

It makes me feel a lot better.

Here you go. Oh, thank you.

Just don't drink it until

it's finished fizzing. Okay.

I don't know.

Maybe I'm the crazy one.

I just think that maybe lying

in a relationship

is not necessarily

the worst thing in the world.

I mean, even people

that maybe you look up to

have lied before in the past.

You know, like Richard Nixon,

for example.

I mean, was there a better

President than Richard Nixon?

I don't think so.

And he is known

for being a liar.

Think about it.

Didn't you kind of lie

right back to him

when you didn't tell him

that you were pregnant?

Some people may consider that a lie.

I guess that's true.

You're just a couple

of liars in love.

Maybe that's what makes you

guys so perfect for each other.

Okay, so, Arnie,

Fitz's dad... Yeah?

Like, when we were kids,

he used to play this game.

It was called

milky-milky cakey-cake.

It was awesome. What is that?

Okay. He would take a sheet cake

and a gallon of milk. Okay.

Then he would eat out a hole,

and then he'd fill it with

milk, and then he'd eat that.

And they eat out another hole,

fill it with milk and eat that.

And he would do it until...

The game was over when all the

cake and the milk was gone.

Milky-milky cakey-cake.

That's f***ing awesome.

Yum. For kids? Yeah.

I wanna play it

kind of, though,

even though I'm a grown-up.

Okay, so, um,

Arnie's not the kind of guy

that's listed, right?

Right.

So, I remember Fitz telling me

that he does this thing...

Yeah?

...this performance thing,

and I found it online.

He does a character called Eleanor.

Okay.

How fun.

He's creative.

Okay, Rafael, just put your

arm through the sling.

Try to keep it

as immobile as possible.

Can you explain to me how

you broke your hand again?

That's a pretty

serious fracture.

It's a compound fracture.

Batting practice.

Rafael, you can answer.

Batting practice.

Batting pract...

That's a pretty serious injury.

It was pretty serious

batting practice.

I'm gonna call your parents, see

if they can come pick you up.

I wish that you could release him

to his parents, but they're dead.

Train accident.

Mmm.

Conductor was texting.

Oh, yeah. I heard about that.

I'm very sorry.

It was in the news.

May I ask who you are here?

Nice to meet you.

I'm Dr. Janis.

Paul. Paul.

Very nice to meet you.

Paul Furcal?

Yep.

Okay.

Would you mind if I check your Id?

Just a precaution.

I left it in the dugout,

'cause I was in such a rush

after he broke his...

Great. I'm gonna go

check and see if I can

release him to you

without your I D.

So you guys...

What are you implying here?

You seem rather suspicious.

All right. Listen.

This is what I'm getting.

This is a very attractive

cute boy.

Whoa. Who's the weirdo now?

Listen, I'm not weird.

That was way weirder than...

That was way weirder.

No. I've seen many

naked young boys.

That's... Topped yourself again.

That's way weirder.

No, it's not weird.

It seems like

you might be molesting

this child.

You're the one

who called him pretty.

I didn't say he was pretty.

I said he's an attractive young boy.

Can we get another doctor?

Listen, I'm not a...

That's not strange.

I've seen thousands

of young men naked.

What? Because I'm a doctor.

That's why.

Maybe hundreds of thousands.

I've done charity work in Haiti.

Oh.

It's terrible

what's going on down there.

We're gonna have someone

from security coming in here.

So you guys

just stay right here.

Sure. We will.

Why is he calling you Rafael?

I told him my name

is Rafael Furcal.

Who's that?

The shortstop for the Dodgers.

That's your alias? Yeah.

It doesn't matter. He's a doctor.

He doesn't watch baseball.

We gotta get the f*** outta here.

Really? Doctors definitely

watch baseball.

Can you walk? Yeah.

Can you run? Yeah.

Run. Why are we always

f***ing running?

We got a little

text from Rico at the gym.

Looks like

Mr. Fitzgerald's plates.

We've got a lead. Boo-yah.

My name is Pete Fogerty.

I'm with

the LA Sheriff's Department.

My I D there. It says "Sheriff's

Department Gymnasium" on it.

It does not matter.

I went through the academy.

I don't understand

what the problem is.

If I give out a registered vehicle

to the non-registered owner,

I could lose my license to tow.

So just forget it. Ain't gonna happen.

We don't want the vehicle.

We just wanna look in the vehicle.

Someone could lose their life or lose

their virginity. We don't know that.

We just wanna look at the vehicle.

A good chance that can happen.

All right. I'll tell you what.

Why don't the two of you

go back to your sheriff's gym,

work up a hot lather

pumping weights or whatever,

hit the showers

and f*** each other?

Give us the f***ing keys to that

van, you piece of sh*t! Forget it!

Everybody just calm down.

Look, you like to swim?

Hey, put that down!

Put that down!

I will tear

this f***ing garage down!

I will turn this sh*t-hole into a bigger sh*t-hole!

You're a f***ing psycho!

Give me the f***ing keys

to the van, a**hole!

Fine! Take it easy!

Here.

Should've given them to me

in the f***ing first place!

We didn't have to go through this

sh*t, you dumb piece of sh*t!

Ow! God!

Oakland. Let's go!

Dude, why did you just

break up with Monica like that?

Because you don't make out with other

people when you live together.

Amen to that.

This guy knows what's up.

Nasty.

She just made out. She didn't f*** him.

She didn't have sex with him.

As far as I know. So far.

Doesn't matter.

Once an animal

tastes another animal's blood,

it always wants

the same blood again.

What does that...

It means now that

she's made out with Barry,

she's always gonna want

to make out with Barry,

'cause she knows what it's

like to make out with Barry.

Whoever this Barry is, she

got that taste in her mouth,

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