High Road Page #9

and she always

gonna crave Barry.

I get it. He's just

looking out for his job,

but, you know,

he's being a real jerk.

Ohh. Oh, boy.

This doesn't look good, James.

Lots of signs

of struggle in here.

Why do you say that?

I don't know.

This could be claw marks here.

You know, escape attempts.

That could be anything.

Shut up and just see what you can find.

I don't wanna hear

what you think.

I got a knapsack back here.

I think it's Jimmy's clothes.

What? I got a notebook.

Tor Eagle.

Could be some neo-Nazi

sex trade group maybe, or...

Why does there have to be sex

involved with everything?

It could be just a notebook.

There's a lot of sonnets in here.

It bothers me that he doesn't have

his clothes with him right now.

That's my point.

This looks like a piss stain.

He was scared, man.

Whatever was going on,

he was scared.

Is it a piss stain or not?

I don't have my DNA kit.

Again, these are not

great things

to find in a van where

no one can hear him scream.

Whoa. Hey. Look at this.

What is this?

Okay.

Berlin.

I'm looking for a Fitzgerald.

My buddy Fitzgerald.

He's not here right now.

Do you know if he's gonna

be coming in tonight, or...

Yeah, about 8:
00.

Thanks very much.

We're going to Berlin.

The bar, not the place.

What the hell's that?

Now, you start out here

with a drummer

Yeah, I know it's

a bit of a bummer

But when you got

his hairy ass in your face

You're not very far

from the bass

And you're backstage

humpin' the bassist

Yeah, I know he's

a bit of a racist

But when he's drawing

swastikas on your bra

You're not very far

from guitar

Bassist, lead guitar,

singer, drummer

Bassist, lead guitar,

singer

Touch, feel, kiss, suck

This is the evolution

of f***

And when your bung-hole's

filled with his finger

You're not very far

from the singer

Now you've fornicated

up the ladder

And you lie there

while he empties his bladder

Your mouth filling up

with his hot golden stream

Finally, you've reached

the man of your dream

Bassist, lead

guitar, singer, drummer

Bassist, lead guitar,

singer, drummer

Bassist, lead guitar,

singer

Singer, singer

Dad? Glen.

Fitz?

So, like, what are you,

like, a drag queen?

Glen, I'm so much more

than that, okay?

I wanna tell you I'm sober.

I run a whole bar, okay?

I host a Lady Gaga night

on Wednesday.

I'm a performer.

I own a radio-controlled

airplane, okay?

I'm doing all these things.

That's why I wanna talk to you.

That's why I want

to make you a sandwich.

I don't want

a f***ing sandwich.

Sandwich diplomacy

didn't work when I was a kid,

and it doesn't work now.

Half a sandwich. No sandwiches!

All right. Okay. You're obviously

freaked out by the way I look.

No, I'm thrown by the fact

that you're the shittiest

dad I've ever heard of.

For what it's worth, he talks

about you all the time.

Who are you? I'm Dirty Carl.

I'm your dad's sponsor.

I am performing

on Lady Gaga nights

so I can displace

my alcoholic tendencies

Through performance

What are we gonna do

about the fact

that you're

dealing drugs, Fitz?

I'm dealing drugs.

You kidnapped Jimmy.

I didn't kidnap Jimmy.

Jimmy's dad

is an abusive father,

and I'm taking Jimmy

to his mom's house.

This is a great time for Jimmy

and I to make our exit.

F***. Wait. All right...

My mom doesn't actually

live in Oakland.

Where does she live? She...

died, like, a year ago.

She's not even alive.

Jimmy...

Do you realize that I'm

gonna go to jail now, Jimmy?

All right. Calm down.

It's not even that...

F*** you, man!

Don't yell at him.

Why did you come here?

You drove six hours.

Why are you even here?

I'm pregnant.

That's why I'm here.

Congratulations.

Uhh...

And no one that I talked to thinks

that you're gonna be a good father.

Well, who have you talked to?

Tommy and Richie and my parents.

Oh, great. So I'm the last person

to know that I have a f***ing kid.

And I'm the last person to know that you have

a dad that's been trying to contact you.

I'm not even sure it's my kid.

Why don't you go tell Barry

that he knocked you up?

Really? Yeah.

You know what? F*** you.

F***ing a**hole.

Get your sh*t out of my house!

And that includes your gong.

Are you...

Holy sh*t, dude. What...

Monica, please.

He didn't mean to call you a b*tch.

I know. It's okay.

He's not a bad person, huh?

I know.

He's just scared

about being a dad.

I was scared about being a dad.

I punched Joan Jett

in the tit once.

I once set fire to a lake.

But you know what?

He's just trying, you know?

I wanna... Listen, please.

I wanna be a good grandpa

to your son.

I wanna take him

to baseball games

and teach him about trains

and fine wines

and how to sell bottles

on the Internet.

Yeah. It's okay. It's over.

No. Please don't say that.

Don't give up

on the Fitzgeralds.

'Cause let me tell you something

about the Fitzgeralds.

They may be f***ed up when

they're young, okay? Okay.

But we come on strong

in the end,

like a fine wine

or a map, something...

No. Please?

Fitzgeralds forever!

Fight, Fitzgeralds, fight

Fitzgeralds, fight

Sorry I yelled at you. Oh...

My mom's dead too, so...

Yeah, I know. I know.

I don't know.

Maybe you were just scared

that you might

f*** up your kid.

That's pretty insightful

for a teenager.

It's a normal thing

to be afraid of.

You smoke all f***ing day.

All day?

Yeah. I star

Whatever. It doesn't matter.

You smoke 24-7.

That's gotta stop.

I'm gonna quit smoking weed.

Really? Yeah.

You're gonna take my advice?

Yeah.

I do want a cigarette, though.

Hey, Carl. Yeah?

You got any smokes?

Yeah, I got a little goody box

behind the bar there.

Thanks, man.

Sorry I was rude before.

Hey, we're all in this

together, bro.

Peace.

Hey, pothead!

God. Dad.

Dad, please... Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Dad...

What the hell happened to you?

No. I swear to God,

he didn't even touch me.

What happened to your arm?

What did that pervert...

Sh*t!

Dad, please, stop.

Get off him, Dad.

Go for the bridge!

Hit him in the bridge!

Stand down, big guy! Come on!

Back up. Back up now. Whoa.

Everybody just stay back,

all right?

I am immortal!

Hey, stop, stop!

Cool it! Just stop, Dad!

Put it... Put it down.

Shut up, you abusive a**hole.

Abusive? I've never abused

anybody in my entire...

Bullshit!

You hit him all the time!

No. I do not hit him.

He's not f***ing abusive, okay?

He's just a dick.

He wants to send me to military school

instead of just talking to me

about my problems.

Okay, okay. Jimmy, calm down.

Dads are weird.

Like, look at my dad.

I haven't seen him in ten years.

He thinks his sandwiches

are gonna fix everything.

The sandwiches

do fix everything.

Okay. Not now.

I know you guys

just miss your mom.

And it's hard for dudes to

talk to each other, you know?

But you're just both gonna have

to find your third vertices.

Dad's suck,

but it's better

having a shitty one

than not having one,

believe me.

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