High School High

---

Mr. Andrews, Mr. Kudo, Mr. Fairchild.

Morning.

Mr. Jenson,

didn't see you at the History Club meeting.

That was the idea.

Mr. Edwards, how did the castration go

on that polo pony?

You're next, pal.

Nice tie, teach. Clip-on?

- Daddy's boy.

- Bite me!

Wellington Academy. Are you white?

Hold, please. I'll put you right through.

Wellington Academy. Are you white?

Hold, please. I'll put you through.

Mr. Clark, your father's waiting for you.

How are you doing, Mr. Clark?

Looking good.

- Thank you, Mr. Kuntzler, I'm fine.

- Good.

There he is, the man of the hour.

Son, don't just stand there. Come join us.

For a moment,

I didn't think you were gonna make it.

Father, I really need to talk to you.

Plenty of time for that, son.

Sit down. I have something to tell you.

Sit down, Richard, and smoke.

- But, Father...

- Now, everyone smokes a pipe here.

I do it. Your grandfather did it.

Even the Indians smoked on this land...

before they traded it away

for some chickens and a pound of jewellery.

- But, Father, I hate...

- Suck.

Son, it gives me great pleasure

to announce that we're promoting you...

to Assistant Vice Chairman

of the History Department.

Father, that's why we have to talk.

Yes, there's lots to talk about.

You'll need a telephone,

and we'll move you from the basement...

Father, for once in your life,

will you just listen to me?

Oh, my.

Look, I've taken a job...

at Barry High School.

For the moment, I will assume that you've

found a sense of humour and are joking.

I'm not joking.

Richard, if you do this, you will fail.

You will fail.

And mark my words, you'll come crawling

back here with your tail between your legs.

You're wrong, Father.

I'm going to succeed at Barry High School.

And I have no intention of ever crawling

back here with anything between my legs.

Barry High.

Hey, could you point me

to the faculty parking lot?

Thanks a lot.

Where?

Beautiful morning.

- Come on, give me a break.

- All right.

Man.

Hold it. What is this?

- No, wait a minute.

- What the heck is this? Get on in there.

Come here.

- You had them last week.

- I know what you mean.

All right, give me $3.

My brother, 24 carats, $24.

No, thank you. I already have a...

Falique Abdul, please come to the office.

One of your fathers is here.

You watch it, okay. Okay?

- Who's that?

- How the hell should I know?

Well, what have we got here?

Griff, welcome back, bro.

So you finally got what you wanted?

It's a nice little business.

Keeps us in pocket change.

I knew it was you that set me up, bro.

If it bothers you that much,

go ahead, make your move.

Or did that year in juvie soften your cheese?

This is my turf now.

You show me respect. Me.

Paco de la Vega-El Camino-Cordova-Jose

Cuervo- Sanchez-Rodriguez...

Junior.

Are we not forgetting a name?

- What's that?

- Skid mark.

All right, you toughs. Break it up.

Now, cut it out.

You boys ought to be ashamed

of yourselves.

School is no place for fighting.

What are you looking for?

I'm looking for the rest your posse...

that's going to keep me

from ripping you a new a**hole.

I will pretend for the moment

that you meant that in a nice way.

But I am warning you,

I'm about to lose my temper.

Now, I want you boys to shake hands.

Go on.

There. See?

Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?

It's always best to shake hands,

unless someone just sneezed into it...

or if they have a stump.

That could be a little weird.

All right, now go on, everybody.

Get back to class.

Cross me again, Griffy-boy...

and even Mr. Rogers here

won't be able to save your ass.

- Go on. Bye.

- Let's go, dogs.

Gentlemen, I believe classes are this way.

They're not at school here anymore.

- Are you in school here?

- Yeah.

- First day?

- No, not really. I was...

Mine, too. I'm a new teacher, Mr. Clark.

What's your name?

- Griff McReynolds.

- Nice to meet you, Griff.

You know, son,

I remember my first day at school.

Hope you live through this one, chump.

Your attention, please.

Today begins sexual awareness week.

Please contact Nurse Johnson in the hall.

Here you go, you little slut.

Excuse me. I'm looking for Room 134.

Thank you.

Keep moving. I repeat, keep moving.

Pick up that can.

Where are you going?

The little girls' room is that way.

Hey, take off those colours.

Yeah, you. Lose the cigarette.

Take a hike, Gumby.

Get rid of the sunglasses.

Excuse me. But this kind of behaviour...

I'd bet the principal would frown

on this sort of thing.

Evelyn Doyle, Principal.

Look, pinhead, I don't know

what nursery school you come from...

but here you screw up, you die.

Every bad kid in the city

is dumped into our laps.

Excuse me, Ms. Doyle, with all due respect...

I don't think there is such a thing

as a bad kid.

At least, they don't start off that way.

They just need someone they can relate to...

and I can reach them.

I know what's def, what's wack...

what's jam, what's straight-up booty.

Mr. Clark,

how long have you been teaching here?

Twenty minutes!

I've been here over 20 years.

Don't you question my authority on this.

Excuse me.

Pardon me.

Are you having a hard time

finding your way around?

Yes. I'm looking...

for Room 134.

- Hi. Victoria Chapell.

- Richard Clark.

Nice to meet you, Mr. Clark.

It's down this way.

What do you teach, Ms. Chapell?

I'm Principal Doyle's

administrative assistant.

Drama coach. You did say Room 134?

Yes.

This is it. All of our classrooms

are in dire need of repair.

Ever since the legislature passed

that "Three F's and You're Out" law...

a lot of schools have closed.

The school board decided

it just wasn't worth it.

I guess they just gave up on these kids.

So we've been squeezed for money

ever since.

We've been forced to...

Guess I'll get that later.

Mr. Clark, are you by any chance related

to Thaddeus Clark...

Headmaster at the Wellington School?

Yeah. He's my father.

Every school in the district

uses his book as a faculty primer.

You know,

I don't see the family resemblance.

Most people think I take after my mum.

Look at this place.

Boy, it has great character.

Sure, it needs a little paint and plaster...

and floorboards...

and pest control.

With a little elbow grease...

Jesus!

And some new wiring,

she'll be back to shape in no time.

Smell those seats.

It says, "Teach me. I want to learn."

- You must think I'm a silly idealist.

- No.

I really admire your dedication.

Your wife must be very proud of you.

Actually, I'm not married.

I find that surprising.

It's pretty hard to be married,

if you've never had a steady girlfriend.

I'm much too busy with work

to think about much else other than work.

That's very admirable.

The last time I heard someone talk like that

was old Mr. Riley.

He was head of the History Department

until last semester.

Retired?

If you can call

being beaten to death retiring.

Coffee?

The lounge.

- I'm going in. Cover me.

- Good luck in Home Ec, Lou.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote