High School High Page #2

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It's a little early to start drinking,

don't you think?

Who stops?

Hi, I'm Richard Clark.

I'm a new history teacher here.

- What department do you teach in?

- I don't know. Something on the third floor.

Richard, I'd like you to meet somebody.

This is Bernie Raveling,

our athletic director, and...

It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Raveling.

- Letting the moustache grow in, I see.

- Richard...

From the looks of the stubble,

I'd say it's going to be a beaut.

I had one in college myself.

Richard, that's Ms. Wells,

the girls' gym teacher.

Did I mention how attractive you look,

Ms. Wells?

That blue sweat suit really brings out

the colour of your eyes.

You coming on to me, pickle dick?

No. I'd never dream of it.

- Not good enough for you?

- Well, it's been a real pleasure.

They should really fix the lighting in here.

All right, settle down, you people.

Knock it off. Quiet!

I want quiet.

It's a new semester.

That means new I.D. Cards...

strip searches and fresh fingerprints.

Shut up!

As you know, Mr. Arnott...

our assistant principal, is still missing.

If you know of his whereabouts,

or if you have him...

contact me immediately.

And also don't forget,

in less than two months...

the state will administer

the Academic Proficiency Test.

Anyone planning on going to college

is required to take these exams.

Don't forget Career Day on Fridays.

The United States Marines

and the Michigan Militia...

will have recruiters here on campus.

All right, listen up!

We have a new teacher.

His name is Richard Clark.

It's his first day.

Give him at least a week

before you do something terrible to him.

Mr. Clark, do you have anything to say?

Now, you all should know...

Actually, yes.

I was asked a while back,

what teaching meant to me.

My reward,

is being able to shape and mould...

agile young minds like yours.

Someday you will be the world's leaders.

But the important thing is, I see in you...

the future of America.

You suck!

That's enough, miss!

She's the school's librarian.

Jeez, talk about low morale.

All right, please settle down.

There. That's more like it.

I know.

I'm the enemy.

I'm the "grown-up."

But, darn it, I was a kid once, too.

And I haven't led a choirboy's life.

I've got my share of parking tickets.

At a baseball game once...

I moved down to the expensive seats.

Yeah. I'm not proud of it.

In order to get to know you...

I've devised a little system.

When I call your name...

I would like you to stand up...

and then you tell me a little something

about yourself.

Natalie Thompson.

- Is there a Natalie Thompson here?

- I'm here.

- What's up, girl?

- Why are you late?

- Because the bell rang before I got here.

- Well...

All right. Before you came in, we were just

talking about sharing personal information.

Perhaps you can tell us something

about yourself.

For the last week,

I've had a yeast infection that's extremely...

Not that personal.

Something about what you enjoy doing.

I like writing poetry.

A poet. I love poetry.

Perhaps you have a nice one

you'd like to share with us.

Okay.

Here's one I wrote yesterday.

"Oh, hopelessness

"unrelenting, blood-drenched

"intestine-twisting hopelessness

"So thick and mucous-like

in a stinking, vomit-filled void

"I am but a rancid carcass on the highway

"Road kill for the maggots

"Floating in shark-filled bile,

like wildebeest entrails"

That's as far as I got.

I would have finished but...

I couldn't find anything

to rhyme with "festering drippage."

Well, thank you, Natalie.

Is it Anthony Jefferson?

Anferny.

I beg your pardon?

- Anferny.

- Anferny?

Anferny, I thought I wrote it down wrong.

All right. Tell us a little something

about yourself, Anferny.

You know. I like chilling with my boys...

blazing up a fat blunt...

rizzeezing my mizzonkey...

hitting skins with my old lady...

hanging my ass over the line,

tagging freeway bridges.

I'm down with that poetry sh*t, too.

You want to hear?

- Sure.

- All right.

"My benevolence is upset

and so is my pride

"That's why I took my b*tch

"for a ride

"I'm down with the bros

and I'm up on my shiznit

"because I love it when I'm just laid back

chilling with my b*tch"

"Whichever one of them hoes I'm with"

I call it, Love Can Be A Wonderful Thing.

Thank you, Anferny.

That was quite romantic.

Julie Rubels. Miss Rubels?

That's Mrs. Rubels.

See, right after I got out of prison,

I met Tito...

and that's when little Juan and Maria

came along.

I certainly hope

you learned a valuable lesson.

Yes.

Basically, as far as vasectomies go,

never use the home kit.

Thank you, Julie.

Griff McReynolds?

Where's Griff? Griff.

We had the pleasure

of meeting earlier today.

Hey, Griff, let me ask you something.

Where do you see yourself in, say, 20 years?

Living in your house, homes...

with your cracker ass buried

under the front porch.

Hi.

Excuse me.

Hi.

- How was your first day?

- Not bad. Not bad at all.

I think I may be reaching them.

Victoria?

Do you think

you could give me a ride home?

I seem to have misplaced my car.

Don't worry about it.

All the teachers lose their cars the first day.

Of course I'll give you a ride.

That is,

if you promise to help me chaperone...

the Welcome Back dance tonight.

Really?

I'd love to.

Great.

So I'll meet you out in the parking lot

in five minutes?

Okay.

- Tripping, right?

- Right.

All right, peep this out, y'all.

We going to pump it up a little bit like this.

Yeah.

Listen, I have a record I want you to play.

Don't you think the kids would enjoy

a nice song with a melody?

What you got, homes?

It is a rare, one-of-a-kind, original pressing.

Yeah? All right, man.

I'm going to put it on here for you.

- Thanks.

- No problem.

Yo, man, these jams be kicking, man.

You got any more of this funky fresh sh*t

lying around the crib?

- Hey.

- Hi.

You're in my history class, right?

- I'm Griff McReynolds.

- Natalie Thompson.

That was a pretty nice poem

you read in class today, Natalie.

- Thanks.

- How do you think of all that stuff?

I try not to, you know?

Is it true you used to run the gang

before Paco?

Yeah, but I'm through with gangs. Word up.

I mean, in juvie I had time to do

some thinking and some reading.

You're different from everybody else here.

Most of the boys I know,

they're all crude and immature.

Most of the time,

they just want to stare at girls' breasts.

- You know what I mean?

- Sorry. What?

This is my song.

- You want to bust one?

- I don't know. We just met.

Come on. It's just an innocent little dance.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right, boys, let's party.

Yo, Mr. DeMarco in the house. Beat it.

- Paco.

- What up?

What's the 411 on my shipment?

Same as always.

Mr. A's Restaurant, Friday nights.

You bring the cash. We bring the boot.

You know the drill.

You tell Mr. A to expect me.

I'll do that.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I got to go mingle with my customers.

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