High School High Page #5

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Don't be fooled by imitators.

Flowbee cuts from

a half-inch to six inches long.

Can't do it wrong.

Get a close-up on this. Squeeze.

Go ahead. Show your abs.

Sh*t.

All right, time's up.

Come on. Time's up. Close your booklets.

I'm sure you all did very well.

Scores will be posted

at the end of this week.

How do you think you did on the test?

I don't know. For the first time in my life,

I feel like I did something right.

Me, too.

- Check this out.

- What is it?

It's my future. Remember that college

I was telling you about?

- Yeah.

- They wrote me back yesterday.

- Yeah.

- Now I feel like I got a real chance to get in.

Guess I owe a lot to Mr. Clark?

Yeah, you know, I think all the kids

pretty much feel the same way.

I mean, think about it.

We could both end up

at the same school together.

Griff, this is the happiest

I ever remember being.

It's the first time in my life I haven't prayed

for a gas line to rupture...

under my building while I was smoking.

Natalie, I'm glad you're happy.

Come on.

There's something I want you to see.

Okay.

Mr. Clark has taken this place on

as a special project.

"Fie, my lord, fie!

"Out, damned spot. Out, I say."

Line!

"Who would have thought the old man

to have so much blood?"

"Who would have thought the old man

to have so much blood in him?"

Take it off!

Hustle up, man. Come on, hurry up.

Yeah, sweet.

This ought to take care of our little problem.

Let's get out of here, Paco.

Hey, give it a rest.

Everyone, I just want to say

before the test scores arrive...

that I am so proud of all of you.

Well?

As I expected,

every student in this class failed.

The lowest scores in the country.

- But there must be some mistake.

- That's right.

And you're it. See for yourself.

Figures don't lie.

We're not dealing

with Rhodes scholars here.

It's time I just accepted what I am

and get on with my life.

No, Griff, wait.

See what you've done?

I told you to leave them at the bottom

of the barrel, where they belong.

Griff, wait.

Consider yourself terminated

as of right now.

Natalie, wait.

Chuckie, wait.

Wait, Ms. Doyle,

you're making a huge mistake.

Mr. Clark has helped this school.

He's a good teacher.

And I'm not just saying that

because we slept together.

Clean out your desk by the end of the day.

- Richard, wait.

- No.

You were right all along.

I didn't know what I was getting into

with these kids.

Richard.

I'm out of here.

What's wrong with all of you?

Have you forgotten

how much Mr. Clark has helped us?

You had a D average

before Mr. Clark started tutoring you.

Now you're on the honour roll.

And this boy. Everyone thought he had

Tourette's syndrome until Mr. Clark...

discovered he was

a Hindu exchange student.

You suck!

You can come back.

Look at me. I'm living proof.

Call me.

Richard, wait!

Richard.

I'm telling you,

I'm really worried about Richard.

I've been calling his house

for the past three days...

and I keep getting the same message:

"Hi. I'm not here, and I may never be again."

Julie?

Buddy up with a mangy dog

or a small child.

Hey, Nat, are you okay?

- I'm afraid Griff's gonna join Paco's gang.

- Come on.

Check this out.

Word on the street is Paco and his little

punk dogs slipped those mentals we took.

What I'm saying is, they switched the tests.

That's why everybody flunked.

You know, you guys.

I probably didn't need no help.

- Oh, my God, this is awful.

- Then we just got to find Mr. Clark.

Yeah, but where?

Where do you find a man that depressed?

Wait a minute. Dim sum.

Chinatown. Come on.

Okay, this is it. Julie, Natalie...

- why don't you two head down that way?

- Okay.

Anferny, go down to the south end

of the block, and I'll go down this way.

All right.

Please, let this be the one.

Richard,

what are you trying to do to yourself?

Richard, snap out of it.

Don't you recognise me?

Mum?

No, it's me.

Father O' Flannery?

Mister?

You okay? Mister, you okay?

This girl over there, she asked about you.

Come. Now.

- Richard, thank God.

- Victoria?

I've been looking everywhere for you.

I didn't know you drank.

I drank?

I thought it was just my pet gorilla here.

How many fingers?

Come on, Mr. Clark, snap out of it.

We got to get Griff out of that drug deal.

Maybe we should just

let the cops handle this.

That would be fine if I didn't mind waiting

20 years to see Griff again.

Don't worry. I'll just go in and get him.

Mr. Clark, you can't just go in there

and be like:

"Okay, Griff, we're going home,"

else you gonna be going home in a box.

The only way we're going to get Griff

out of there...

is you got to show up in the back room

with the cash.

You got the cash, you the man.

- Where am I gonna get the cash?

- Man, DeMarco gonna be there.

What you think he carry in his briefcase?

Food stamps?

Your job is to make his cash your cash.

- Did you get it?

- It's all in there.

Good.

We just got time to eat.

All right, everybody, wait here.

- I'll handle this.

- You not out in 20 minutes...

me and my G's is coming in after you,

straight up.

Go in there and represent, Mr. Clark.

You can do it.

I can do this.

- What are you doing here?

- I'm here to help you.

Richard, if anything happens,

I want to be here with you.

Thanks.

How are we gonna know

which one is DeMarco?

- We'll just take a wild guess.

- Where?

Come on.

- Someday you will be the world's leaders.

- You suck!

Where you going?

It's a mistake, man. I can't do this.

I thought we settled this, Griffy-boy.

You better decide right now. You in or out?

- I ain't asking again.

- Define "in or out."

In, you're with us, and out, you're dead.

Works for me.

Where the hell's our waiter?

Good evening, gentlemen...

and welcome to Mr. A's

fine dining establishment.

I'm Zack. I'll be your waiter this evening,

and this is my trainee, Paula.

I'm an Aries.

I enjoy water sports and dancing.

- And my hobbies are origami...

- Enough small talk.

Just bring us two thick T-bones.

Yes, sir.

Would you like those

with or without the bones?

And a couple of glasses of water.

All right.

Let me tell you about our water then.

It comes from the Los Angeles aqueduct...

where it flows down

a lovely cement channel on a bed of...

I don't care where it came from.

Just bring it to us.

I'll take that. It's his birthday.

Would anyone care

for some desserts this evening?

Look, you little weasel.

Just bring us what we asked for.

Unless you want me to stick

this bread stick up your ass.

It sure would taste better if you didn't.

You might want to try buttering it first.

Hey, stand back.

Come on. We've got to change disguises.

You ready?

Yeah, but unfortunately

we've got this other thing we gotta do first.

Let's see what's in this thing.

Jesus!

Hurry.

Manny, zap that sauce for me, will you?

Got it.

Now, what do you want?

I'm here to see Mr. A.

Who the hell are you?

I'm Mr. B.

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