Highway Page #4

Pilot, come on.

F***ing get him, get him.

What's that thing

on your finger?

My wedding ring.

You married?

It got annulled.

What's that mean?

You got divorced?

Yeah. I got divorced.

Jack! Jack!

Let's get the f*** out

of here, Jack.

What's up?

Come on, let's bail.

Pilot, I'm really sorry about

what happened back there.

Man, I thought

those guys were down.

No, it's fine, man.

I'm sorry.

That's all, just sorry.

What? You jealous?

No.

It's just...

you know, he's never let me

drive before.

Well, here's the news flash.

You realize

if we boost the dose...

to another 2 1/2

grams each of these 'shrooms...

we can get

completely mashed and-

Where you going,

anyways?

I got to meet up with

a friend, make a delivery...

and then I'm off

to the emerald city-

Seattle.

Yeah?

Um-hmm.

What about you?

You know, I know

somebody in Seattle.

Of course you do.

Amy Carnes.

Oh, yeah.

Best girl, ever-

in caps.

Best girl ever.

Oh, I'm feeling that.

'Billy johnson,

he's our man.

If he can't do it,

nobody can.'

Totally.

Squad captain.

Yeah. Wholesome dreams and...

tight little ass and...

I mean, could I please have

a salad with no dressing?

I know.

Night of graduation, man.

We had a thing.

The rage-all-night party.

I never even thought she

knew I existed.

She cornered me

in the bathroom...

macked me.

We slow danced to...

'Sweet Child of Mine,'

over and over,

for hours.

She said she always thought I

was cool.

Always thought

I was better...

than the forgettables

I hung out with.

'Forgettables?'

Her word.

She knew, man.

She f***ing knew.

You realize that people

are forgotten by people...

who remember every single day.

I love her.

Love, love, sweet love.

Did you f*** her?

No.

Well, I mean,

you know, I thought...

I would, you know...

like that summer, maybe.

Bird in a hand, baby doll.

She left soon after.

To go...

To Seattle.

What's with those guys?

We keep seeing them.

No doubt headed

to the land of Amy Carnes.

Why?

Kurt Cobain, son.

What about him?

Oh, he killed himself.

When?

Yesterday.

He shot himself.

For real?

For real.

Sh*t.

You cool?

Yeah, I'm cool.

Tony Gomez is going

to meet up with me...

and take me

the rest of the way.

Tell these guys

I said hey, will you?

All right,

see you around then.

Peace and chicken grease.

Hey, you know

where Canyondale is?

Anna?

-What? -Come here.

OK.

Fetch my glasses.

I took the kids

there last year...

to see The Boy.

It freaked them.

You a pool boy?

I used to be.

What?

You know, you guys...

aren't really

doing it right.

What do you mean?

You want to do the whole

cross-country...

on the road thing.

You should be doing it

in a convertible.

What are you doing?

Chill, relax.

I'm making a f***ing

convertible.

Yeah, but now we're

completely conspicuous.

Ohh.

-Oh! -Right.

Conspicuous to what?

Umm...

to the, uh...

to the, uh...

you know.

You boys

passing through?

Yeah, we're heading

for Seattle.

Best you check out The Boy.

Excuse me?

The Boy.

Best you

check out The Boy.

Hey, where is The Boy?

Canyondale, right?

That's right.

I saw a poster

for this sh*t inside.

Oh, you'll get

a kick out of it.

Promise you that.

You'll get

a kick out of it.

Well?

Alligator...

What?

Alligator Boy.

That's the boy's name.

His full name

is Alligator Boy.

He's about

20 miles from here.

Hmm. What do you mean,

Alligator Boy?

I don't know.

It's just what

the dude told me.

What does that mean?

I don't know

what that means.

Let's find out.

Jack, Jack, we don't have time.

What is the rush?

What is the rush?

Is there a rush?

Don't ask me-

It's not like we're meeting

somebody up there, are we?

Whatever, dude.

Can we just have

15 seconds of fun...

in our miserable lives?

Ugh! Famous

f***ing last words.

Thank you, ma'am.

You're welcome, sir.

It'll be $10 each.

Come on.

Desmond?

Desmond?

Desmond?

Tip?

Sometimes he's shy.

I think a little

girl screamed.

Desmond gets upset

when they scream.

Desmond?

There he is.

What's wrong

with him?

He's shy.

No, I don't think

that's what she means.

I think she means,

what's wrong with him?

Yeah, that's

what I mean.

He's just bashful.

Unbelievable.

Unbelievable!

Hey, he suffers

from, uh...

ichthyosis,

which is a, uh...

a thickening of

the epidermis...

and is not dangerous

or contagious.

He's also slightly

brain damaged...

and incapable

of speech.

He's 26.

I'm 26.

It's insane.

Twenty-six!

What's he thinking?

He probably wishes you'd

stop staring at him.

Insane!

This whole-

this is insane!

Look at him, Jack.

He's like-he's the coolest

thing I've ever seen!

He's an alligator, dude!

He's an alligator boy!

That'd be a cry laden

with pain and sorrow.

In around 600 B.C...

there was a slave.

A slave of wealthy

Greek noblemen.

He was horribly deformed.

And all day long...

this monstrous-looking man...

would spin wondrous tales

of heroic animals.

Great tales, but

they tended to show...

the weaknesses of men.

So, the storyteller

was killed by a crazed mob...

who were insulted...

that his stories showed

animals as brave and smart...

and people as

weak and stupid.

Really? Wow.

Amazing.

Oh, wait.

The punch line is:

the storyteller's

name was Aesop.

Really?

-Wow. -Amazing.

As in 'Aesop's Fables'?

Yes.

Really?

Wow!

Amazing!

I didn't know that.

I didn't know that

Aesop was a freak.

So, um...

where's Mr. Murray?

Long gone.

He couldn't accept Des.

He left not long

after Des was born.

But then, Des and I...

went trooping with

a well known 10-in-one.

Des was

the main attraction.

He made more money

for the carnival...

than the concession

stands.

We're just trying to get

enough money together...

to move to South Carolina.

Why South Carolina?

Oh, it's a wonderful place,

Parisville, South Carolina.

It's a small town,

but for some reason...

it's become

the winter quarters...

of all the southern carnies.

It's a virtual city

of special people.

Tranquil and sunny.

Des would be happy there.

I know my Des doesn't

have a lot of time left.

Well, about how

much money you need?

Oh, a lot of money.

How about-how much?

Oh, about $5,000

would do us right.

With what we'd

get for the house.

Well, we'll be

back tomorrow.

Before we leave,

we'll come say good-bye.

We'd like that.

We'd like that fine.

He was amazing,

wasn't he?

Wasn't he amazing, Jack?

Amazing.

Desmond the Alligator Boy

is a major happener.

Isn't he?

Whatever you say, Pilot.

Would you want

to be him?

What are you doing?

What?

What are you

doing, you f***?

What is with all these

stupid questions?

What? Why wouldn't

you wanna be him?

Why?

Because he's green...

because his skin

is disgusting...

because he's

brain damaged...

because his head

is misshapen.

You want me to go on?

No.

You think he's happy?

Pilot!

What? One question.

Just answer me that.

Do you think he's happy?

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