Hilton! Page #2

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That's her hand.

- Yes.

We were one of

Helsinki's poorest families.

I was already in kindergarten,

or whatever it was called, -

One day a woman comes up to me.

A woman I don't even know.

She says she's taking me

to visit some place.

That visit lasted eighteen years.

I was told nothing,

no one explained what happened.

Well, here we are in the end.

I remember I was just a kid, playing

with a beach ball with my sister.

My biological dad comes in,

drunk out of his mind.

"Rah rah rah,

where the f*** is my booze!"

This was continuous,

just like the beatings.

It all ended one night, when

we were just about to turn seven.

I had always been sleeping

with a puukko hunting knife.

I can tell you

the f***ing truth right now.

I've always told them

I don't remember anything.

That I don't remember anything

of the time before I turned six...

A child f***ing remembers.

So that was it then.

The police and the child welfare

officials came in.

Finally my mom's sister

got us the f*** out of there.

That was one happy f***ing moment.

Don't feel like doing anything.

I've tried going to school,

gotten all sorts of alternatives.

But nothing ever comes out of it.

I just want to be at home

and do nothing.

I'm so f***ing interesting, that

I watch the news, get it?

Good morning...

- We'll good morning to you too!

That's a pretty beautiful woman.

Give me a kiss.

Give me a kiss!

Oh yes, give me some p*ssy!

Wow, the sports news, I have to film

this... Full of important stuff!

Good morning, good morning!

Toni, can you pass me my

facial tonic from my purse? - yeah.

Thanks.

So, do you have money?

- Yes, I have money.

Are you sure?

- Yeah.

Enough to go out to eat?

- Yes, enough.

How about money for my gift?

- Yes, I have it.

OK.

How about the glow mini golf?

Do you have enough money?

Maybe.

Do you want to go?

- How much is it again?

It's not expensive.

We should also fill out

the apartment applications. - yeah.

What do you think?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Otherwise we don't ever see

each other. I can't do that...

I don't have to see everyday.

- Neither do I.

I told you that I'd f***ing close my

phone and close the curtains, -

and just be here alone.

- Yes, I know.

This way we would at least

see each other once a week.

I have three entrance exams

and I have to schedule my studies.

Plus I have work

and other things to do as well.

And, I have to find time to see you.

- You don't have to care about me.

I do!

Don't you think we're in that point,

five years together.

Don't you think it's time

to move ahead in our relationship?

Or, what do you think?

- Yeah.

You know.

Is it Pinja?

Would you like to come visit, again?

We had a fun weekend last time.

I'll buy the phone for you

when I get the social office money.

The one with the touch screen.

I'll buy it for you when you come

over to stay with daddy again.

I don't have the funds right now,

but in the end of the month.

When you come to visit,

daddy will buy it for you.

OK, bye then...

My mother liked to drink alcohol.

I started home as well.

I didn't have to go out

and drink in secret.

A proper slap shot is

what we need.

That's more like it!

No?

- Tastes like f***ing sh*t.

I am what I am, and

she cares for me the way I am.

I won't please anyone.

I am the way I am,

and if you don't like it, fine.

My dad died when I was twelve.

I still dream of him,

doing something fun with him.

It's nice to wake up

from a dream like that.

I've f***ing noticed

how f***ing crooked this sh*t is.

Some workplaces make me feel sick.

People have no respect, no honor.

F***, I'd like to

shoot all these f***ers.

The way they scheme, too.

I'd rather be punched

in the face, straight up.

What's your dinero situation?

I'm kind of low on the dough,

you know.

Would've needed

some dead presidents.

Are you home tomorrow?

No, nothing like that,

just slight problems with my rent.

This f***ing Hilton is starting to look

like a f***ing Mogadishu Avenue.

Sh*t loads of immigrants flooding in.

Let them live wherever they wish,

I'm not against them.

I'm international,

not a racist.

But I can't stand someone

with a thick accent -

claiming they're

more Finnish than me.

What do you do?

- No, nothing, I don't have job.

What is your opinion towards us

foreigners here in Finland?

Do you like them or

do you hate them?

Do you like foreigners here?

- Yeah, why not.

Some people don't like, you know.

- Yeah, I know, I know.

It's theirs problem.

Are you working somewhere?

- No works.

I think you are Finnish and you have

Finnish skills and everything.

Why are you unemployed?

It's normal that we don't have jobs

because we're over here foreigners.

It's wrong.

- Wrong?

But we don't speak Finnish,

that's the most important thing.

It's better to do something

rather than do nothing, you know.

Do something.

Like life is a cigarette.

It starts with flashes

and ends with ashes.

Phew, finally,

bored the f*** out of me.

520 euro is pretty skim

for two people. - yes, yes it is.

The child's norm is added

on top of your norm.

OK, so health issues, -

Diabetes, incipient lung

constriction, homelessness, -

pregnancy, of course, -

and the required

mental health services.

How have you been feeling?

You appear happier than last time.

Out of the discretionary services

I assigned these last time.

Bus card, swim card,

pregnancy yoga...

You won't go homeless, -

we will find some kind of

emergency housing for you.

It would be good if it would be

in East Helsinki.

My parents and

my support person live there.

Close to the metro?

In East Helsinki,

as close to the metro as possible.

If you drop out after high school

you have to report to, -

The so-called searching youth work.

It was a Friday when

my mom called me and said:

"Oh, you're not in the school

and you've been kicked out. "

"And you didn't tell me. "

I said, I didn't have

the nerve to tell her.

Then she told me how

disappointed she was in me.

My grandmother called me

and gave me a lecture.

I was like f***!

Feels frustrating having to

start everything from scratch.

I wouldn't graduate until I was 24.

What did you like best

working at the construction company?

I don't know, maybe being

with the more experienced.

They teach a lot, don't they?

Yeah, I think I've been stuck

with my life for a while.

That's why I've kept pushing

and calling you.

Because if you're home

for too long, -

you don't know

how to go out anymore.

It feels horrible to think

of myself as marginalized.

Though it might be true,

I don't do anything.

But it just feels so f***ing grim.

The thought of being excluded.

It's daddy.

Should we go to the children's

play park one of these days?

I miss you.

Come and visit, or call me.

Life is so lonely without you.

Will you get some next week?

- Money, you mean?

Yes, before my birthday? - If not,

I'll be f***ing seriously screwed.

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