Hobo With A Shotgun Page #2

knife away from me!

Easy Slick, I think you

might be hurting him.

God,

Jesus God boys.

What ever happened to

delicacy and finesse?

This is so you'll

never forget what you are.

I thought this was

a police station.

Not a f***ing circus.

I just wanted to help.

Ah!

And don't forget you

f***ing piece of sh*t,

everyday is garbage day

for street trash like you.

Hey.

You're so hot,

you make me want

to cut my dick off and

rub it all over

your titties.

Why don't you just calm down

and tell me what

you're looking for.

I was hoping to

keep it a surprise.

I've had enough

surprises tonight.

Quit wasting my time.

What's it gonna be?

Come on Abby,

I'm a regular.

Baby, nothing about

you is regular.

Hey, look, I'm the

one with the money

and you're the one

selling your hole...

I know that sweetie,

I'd love to take your money.

So why don't you just

tell me what you're after?

F*** it.

Just give me the

regular, plus 10%.

Okay.

I'm gonna make you love

the taste of my rot!

What the f***?

Get the f*** off me!

Oh my God.

Help me.

I could use a drink right now.

Do you mind?

I really appreciate

your helping me out today.

If it wasn't for

you, who knows,

I'd probably be dead

in ditch somewhere.

I see you have an empty

picture frame here.

Why don't you put

a picture of your

famit.

I don't really have

anything worth remembering.

Right.

You seem like a smart

intelligent girl.

You should be teaching.

Tell people about beautiful

things and miracles.

You're obviously

not from here.

I'm not from anywhere.

Yeah, well

I f*** for a living

and believe me I don't

have a lot of other options.

Right.

Well, I wouldn't

know about that sh*t.

Hey,

take it easy.

I think I'm okay now.

I just tell my brain

when I know I'm hurting.

I just say I got

nothing for you buddy...

Nothing to make it go

away, so just go to hell.

And he goes.

He's like a

brother to me now

and brothers fight sometimes.

Well, I think it's time to put

you and your brother to bed.

No, I'm not going

to stay here.

I'm gonna go,

it's all right.

No, no,

it's okay.

I want you to.

It's a good one.

I don't even remember

when I slept a real bed.

I am tired.

I didn't get your name.

It's Abby.

Here.

Put this on so you don't

get blood on my sheets.

Oh.

Thank you.

Oh,

I like that.

This is good.

Thank you.

Well Abby,

can I...

tell you something

about bears?

Sure.

The bear is a solitary animal.

They like their space.

They live in a magic circle.

They mind if you're

like a mile away,

but if you get

inside their circle,

they will maul you.

If a bear's claw would

ever strike your face,

it would take your whole

face right off your skull.

Your eyes, your

nose, your lips.

Everything.

And you would die from it.

Wow.

I didn't know bears

could be so vicious.

They are

wild animals.

There's something else about

bears not many people know.

If a bear gets hooked on

the taste of human blood,

he becomes a man killer.

He'll go on a rampage

and has to be destroyed

and that's why you

should never hug a bear.

Give me that f***ing money!

You f***ing little b*tch,

I'll shove that

money up your...

Move b*tch!

Make you feel it.

Help!

Don't let him take me!

Help me someone!

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

I love your work.

Hey!

Back for that 10

dollars, eh dirt bag?

You're right.

Ah!

Yeah!

Beautiful.

I'm only giving you

twenty for that one buddy.

Now get down

on your knees,

go on,

on you go.

Now I want you to start

chewin' the glass.

What?

I want you to start

eating that glass.

Go on.

Don't even bother

looking at this,

until you start chewing.

Go on.

That's it.

That's it.

Oh, now smile

for the camera.

Holy sh*t,

this is f***ing gold!

Now...

pick it up with you mouth.

That's it.

Arrr...

Good dog.

You earned your money today.

Yeah.

Yeah,

you heard me right,

I want four

big f***ing dogs...

Un-huh, yeah,

yeah, yeah.

And shave em first.

Lady.

I don't trade for babies.

If you're looking for jewelry

you gotta cough it up.

All right everyone this is

a god damn f***ing robbery!

Ah!

Okay, this guy,

this guy,

he is a great baby sitter!

Don't worry about Junior.

I'll look after him.

Give me the f***ing money or

I'll slit her god damn throat!

Okay,

okay.

What are you waiting for?!

F***ing kill her!

Kill the f***ing baby!

Here it is,

here it comes.

All right.

Old man you've got five

seconds to give me what I want

or I will end her life.

Put you hands in

the cash register,

give me more you

piece of sh*t!

That's it,

that's everything.

- 1...

- No.

Faster,

come on!

No!

Come on!

Just f***ing kill her already!

I'm gonna sleep in

your bloody carcasses.

Tonight!

Ah!

Jesus Christ!

You vultures

circle this city tearing

off the flesh

from everything

that is innocent.

Please don't shoot me.

I didn't even hurt her.

I want you out of this city,

you and your

grave-robbing friends.

Spread the word.

Now!

Pay guns!

Keep the change.

Oh f***!

Where's the tape?

Leave me alone man.

Take it out.

Now you put it in

your mouth and eat it.

You f***ing b*tch.

Stop wasting your

time doing homework.

Get up on the block

and make me some money.

Come on baby,

show daddy you ain't mad

at me and give me a kiss.

Listen.

Go home to someone

who loves you.

Now.

And you -

you're f***ed.

F*** em.

Read em and f***ing weep!

You can have

the f***ing b*tches.

Happy Valentines Day,

you f***ing sluts!

Kill him!

F***ing kill him!

Kill him!

Hallelujah.

I'm gonna come down

both your chimneys

and give you a big present.

Jerk on this you child

molesting sh*t-licker.

Ah!

Night watches and other

anti-crime groups have been

seen springing up all

throughout the city and their

inspiration, a brave,

yet still unidentified,

homeless man who has

been delivering justice,

one shell at a time.

A shotgun!

This town is impressed by

a homeless man with

a f***ing shotgun.

Ow!

Where's the

creativity in that?

So what happened to you?

School bully get

your lunch money?

I don't want

to talk about it.

Look Slick,

don't make me mad.

Tell me who did this to you.

I don't know.

Some bum?

Some bum!

Have you been watching

the f***ing news lately?

Don't worry dad,

we carved that f***er up.

You carved him up.

Somebody does this

to your brother

and you treat him like

a Jack-o'- lantern.

Put your head on the table.

Head down,

now!

Don't worry son,

everybody gets knocked out

once in a while.

Really?

Have you ever

been knocked out?

F*** no,

I'm the DRAKE,

who's going to f*** with me?

But I'm Slick,

nobody's supposed

to f*** with me either.

Listen, you've got

a lot of potential,

way more than your brother...

head down.

Maybe even more potential

than me, eventually,

but first you've got to

learn to think bigger.

Bigger?

I'll crucify him to

a homeless shelter.

That's revenge.

Don't look for revenge.

Look for people's fear.

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