Hobo With A Shotgun Page #4

I'm dying.

Slick boy, you're tough

and I'm so proud of you.

You're the toughest

kid I know.

Thank you.

Hey dad...

You were a pretty rad father.

Slick...

Slick...

Slick!

Fix this girl.

Now!

Stop,

you can't do that!

Just fix her!

Sh*t!

Summon the plague.

Tell them to bring

me that hobo.

Stay with us honey.

Come on,

stay with us.

It's gonna be okay.

It's gonna be alright.

She's f***ing dying!

Come on!

Stay with me!

Live!

Live you f***in' whore!

That's it.

Come on.

Stay with me.

Stay with me.

Hey you.

Welcome back.

It's good to see you.

I wanted to give

you something.

They're beautiful.

Just to make sure

you don't forget me.

Where are you going?

I have to get back to work.

Please don't.

You should put them

in your classroom.

They'll be good by the window.

You know I'm not really

a school teacher, right?

You do right?

Yeah, but everybody

ought to have a dream.

You can't solve all the

world's problems

with a shotgun.

It's all I know.

A long time ago

I was one of you.

You're all brand

new and perfect.

No mistakes,

no regrets.

People look at you

and think of how

wonderful your

future will be.

They want you to be

something special.

Like a doctor or a lawyer.

I hate to tell you this,

but if you grow up here

you're more likely

to wind up selling your

bodies on the streets

or shooting dope from dirty

needles in a bus stop.

And if you're successful,

you'll make money selling

junk to crack heads.

And you won't think twice

about killing someone's wife

because you won't even know

what was wrong

in the first place.

Or, maybe you'll

end up like me...

a hobo with a shotgun.

I hope you can do better.

You are the future.

That's it!

I am sick and tired of

you f***ing junkies!

What's going on?

Abby!

Abby.

Abby,

come on.

Ah!

Oh!

Psst.

You got a match?

Ah,

the Plague.

You guys f***ing rock!

Do you want to see him?

No,

I trust you guys.

I can f***in' smell

him from here.

Take him to the truck.

You know, I almost

feel sad for you.

You're in the shadow

of your brother.

And you're just a

little tiny thug.

A thug!

Listen you homeless

piece of sh*t.

I'm the only son

Drake has left!

And you know what that means?

That means I run

the f***ing show!

I'm gonna show everybody.

They're gonna fear

the f*** out of me!

In fact, they're gonna

make comic books

out of my hate crimes!

I promise you when

I get out of here,

I'm gonna bite your face off.

That's funny,

because I promised myself.

I'm gonna bash

your f***ing teeth in

and make a chainsaw

out of them.

F***er.

Hold it right there lady.

What the hell do you

think you're doing?

You want to know if I'm

homeless so you can kill me?

Yeah,

are ya?

Some people got a

bed to sleep on,

where they can crawl

under the covers

and have a good night's rest.

But other people,

they don't got beds at all.

Instead they gotta

find an alleyway,

or a park bench where some

f***er's not gonna stab them.

But just because

they don't got beds

doesn't mean

they're homeless.

Cause guess what, they've got

the biggest home of any of us.

It's called the Streets!

And right now, we're all

standing in their home,

so maybe we should show

them some god damn respect.

If this is their home,

they've got a right to

keep it clean, don't they?

And sometimes on the streets,

a broom just ain't

gonna f***ing cut it.

That's when you

gotta get a shotgun!

So if you want to

kill me, go ahead.

But I'll warn you.

From where I'm standing,

things are looking

real f***ing filthy!

Ladies and Gentlemen,

welcome back to

the Drake show!

Yeah!

That's how you cheer

you f***ing creatures.

Woo!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you everybody.

Tonight I have a special

treat for you all.

The culmination of one of

the bloodiest spectacles

we have ever witnessed.

Everybody please

a round of applause

to the team that

made this possible.

The Plague.

Now, I want you all to

meet our special guest.

A man I'm sure you've

all heard about.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

without further ado,

let's bring on the

man of the hour.

The one responsible for the

death of my favorite son.

And here he is,

a worthless,

homeless piece of sh*t...

Get your hands off me,

you demons!

You're crushing my smokes.

When God lost his son,

he knew he'd get him

back in a few days.

He never had to mourn,

not for a single second.

But, I know I

can't get son back.

So,

what does that make me,

when I know more about pain

than the most powerful

being in the universe?

You're a fool.

And a shitty father.

Take him to the glory hole.

Look up at all those people.

I'm your God.

They fear me more

than anything.

And that fear is what saves

their lives everyday.

If I want something

from them I take it.

If they try to fight

back I kill them.

F***er.

They live to please me.

Because if they don't,

I cut off their

f***ing heads!

Well,

now you look scared.

Drake.

Eventually,

evil...

will turn against evil.

It'll wipe itself out,

leaving nothing but wreckage.

And f***ed up memories.

Every time I find

somebody like you,

who wants to be a hero,

who wants to f***

with me and stop my show,

I send em

straight to hell.

What the...

Let him go Drake or I'll

chop your boy to pieces.

Abby.

I mean it.

I'll mulch this f***er

into the ground.

What do you think?

Replaceable.

Dad, I'm the only

son you have left.

Quit f***in' around.

Sorry boy,

but...

you've just never had

that much potential.

No one upstages the Drake!

Do you see what I mean folks?

I provide you with nothing

but the highest quality,

adrenaline filled

family entertainment.

Okay, Rip, let's get

us some Hobo head!

Oh!

Let's go home.

Get this off me...

You want to be the

star of this show?

I'll make you shine.

You take your dirty hands

off her, you bastard.

I'd love to just shoot

her but my audience,

they expect more.

Get your hands off me!

Settle down,

honey.

This will be the best

trick you ever gave.

Let's start with

a nose job, huh?

No!

Get me out of this hole!

How?

Pull my hair!

My hair.

Pull it!

Pull it!

Harder!

Harder!

Untie me.

Demon's coming back.

She killed Grinder.

Now she must take his

place in the Plague.

She's not going

anywhere buddy.

Listen to me.

You can't fall asleep now.

You hear me?

There's one more

thing I have to do.

No, I just wanna

go to the zoo

and see the bears with you.

Don't leave me.

Don't leave.

Bears don't belong

in a zoo.

Stupid f***ing b*tch.

I'm gonna find her

and I'm gonna

f***ing kill her...

and I'm gonna cut his

f***ing nuts off

and stick it up

his f***ing ass.

Show's over.

You know, except

for killing my son,

you made my town a

lot more interesting.

You're so f***ing crazy.

I would have been

you're biggest fan,

you worthless street rat.

Drop the f***ing gun you

cocksucking garbage bag.

Put it down and walk away.

This is your only

chance to leave alive!

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