Hollywood Canteen

NARRATOR:
This looks like

a quiet, peaceful little island...

...in the South Pacific, doesn't it?

Well, it is...

...since the United States Army

took it over.

- Is this high enough?

MAN:
Right up on top.

Imagine, leaving out Brooklyn,

the capital of the world.

Yeah, imagine.

That's better.

Come on, let's see if the mail's in.

Okay,

I could sure use a letter from my girl.

- Chris Nyby. Chris Nyby, Nyby.

MAN 1:
Here.

- George Nogle?

MAN 2:
Here.

Chuck Hanson.

Hey, you guys, gather around.

Cookies from home.

- Roberts?

- Brooklyn, U.S.A.

Brooklyn, Brooklyn.

Having a big family helps sometimes.

Especially when they learn to write.

Anything for Corporal Ed Green, chaplain?

No, son, sorry.

I guess my girl got married or something.

How long since you've heard from her?

Fourteen months, sir,

and she was good dreaming too.

But lately,

I get her mixed up with Joan Leslie.

Then you're in luck, Slim.

A movie unit arrived with the mail

and some film.

I think I saw Joan Leslie's name on a can.

- We going to have movies here?

- Uh-huh. Tonight.

Maybe now you can find out whether it's

Miss Leslie or that girl back home.

Well, they've both got red hair,

that's what started the confusion.

WOMAN [ON FILM]:
We'll be together soon,

later on. There's plenty of time.

MAN [ON FILM]:

But then why did you change your name?

WOMAN:
Oh, nothing, Albert.

Helen thought it'd be a good idea...

MAN:
That's what I mean,

she wants to break us up.

I don't wanna hear anything

against Helen.

But it's true. Day by day, she's

making a person out of you I never knew.

- She's no good, baby.

- Don't say that.

Everything she ever did, she did for me.

You've always been against her...

Joan Leslie's my kind of girl.

She looks like a guy could go

right up to her and say hello.

So she'd say hello.

So, what did it get you?

Me? I'll take Ann Sheridan.

Well, where would Ann Sheridan get you?

Right where you think.

[SINGING]

Oh, Grandpa loves his rocking chair

And Grandma loves her lace

But... It's... To me...

[STATIC BUZZING]

- What's the matter?

- Come on, where's that talking at?

- Where's the sound?

MAN 1:
Come on, I ain't no lip reader.

MAN 2:
Give us our movie.

MAN 3:
Come on.

MAN 4:
Fix that gadget.

What's the matter with you?

Sorry, boys,

the rain shorted the sound apparatus.

- You want to call it off or run it silent?

- No!

- We don't care about the sound!

- Give us Joan Leslie!

Yards of dames!

[MEN YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

MAN 5:
Girls, girls.

MAN 6:
Yeah.

[MEN HOOTING AND WHISTLING]

She's beautiful.

You can tell by her eyes she's nice.

She's got about the prettiest lips

I've ever seen.

Well, Slim,

have you decided which was which?

Yes, sir, she's the one.

I've been dreaming about her,

and not that girl in Altoona.

I'd say you made a happy choice.

[ACCORDION PLAYING

"HOME ON THE RANGE"]

MAN:
Hello, sarge.

- Hi.

How long you figure they'll keep us

in the hospital after we land?

I figure Slim and I'll be out

in a couple of weeks...

...then we get our leave...

...and then we'll go up to Frisco

for our orders.

We're sticking together.

We're going on a spree.

Oh, I forgot to tell you, Brooklyn...

...while you were taking your treatments,

I learned a new way to shoot craps.

- What did it cost you?

- Oh, forget it, I don't need any money.

When we get our leave,

I wanna sit in parks...

...and watch people

who aren't trying to kill each other.

[AIRPLANE ENGINE HUMMING]

Get up, Joe.

That's one of our own planes.

Those lights they're blinking mean

"welcome home."

So this is Hollywood.

The birthplace of the biggest beer bust

upon which you ever bent an elbow.

Come on, let's find it.

I don't wanna sit behind a beer,

I wanna see things.

My two-year thirst

ain't putting up with no sightseeing.

Take my lettuce, I don't wanna get rolled.

And help yourself to my dough.

I won't need it,

but I'll keep it for you.

- Meet you here at midnight?

- Okay.

- Are you hungry?

- Yes, sir.

Well, then you've come

to the wrong place.

I'll have the rib steak, please.

Sorry, bub, we've only got one rib steak left

and I'm saving it for me.

How about some barracuda?

We got too much barracuda.

No, I'm pretty hungry.

I've been every place today sightseeing.

- Hollywood Bowl...

- Great place to neck, the Bowl.

- Top row. Terrific.

- Well, I was alone.

I was hoping to see

some movie stars today.

Hey. I can't eat this soup.

- Why not?

MAN:
Ain't got no spoon.

Oh, okay, bub. Catch.

You gotta treat your customers rough

these days, they might come back.

So you wanna see movie stars?

Me, I can't get into the Hollywood Canteen.

You, you got on your ticket, your uniform.

And they got good food too.

- Where is the Canteen?

- Cut through to Sunset Boulevard.

- You can't miss it.

- Thanks, I will.

MAN 1:
Hey, don't forget me.

MAN 2:
Sign mine, I wanna pin it up.

MAN 3:
Hey, quit shoving,

give the Marines a break.

[BIG BAND PLAYING]

MAN 4:

Do you think that's Ann Sheridan?

MAN 5:
Four bits it's Betty Grable.

- I hope it's Joan Leslie.

Air! Hey, fellas, I've gotta have air.

Oh, fella,

a man's gotta have some oxygen.

Even just a little teensy-weensy bit.

- Who gets this?

MAN 6:
That's mine.

Gee, I thought you were Ann Sheridan.

[MEN LAUGHING]

With my new haircut and all?

You know, I'm mistaken for Ann Sheridan

everywhere I go.

With that mouth? I mean, face?

Oh, I'm... I'm sorry, Mr. Brown.

That's all right, son.

You can say "mouth" if you want to.

A friend in the Army wrote me

that every time he saw...

...an invasion barge opening,

he thought of me.

Well, gee, thanks, Mr. Brown.

Come on, fellas, let's let him

finish his doughnut there. So long.

Thanks.

- First time in the place, son?

- Yes, sir.

- Is it true that all the big stars come here?

- I'll say it's true.

Humphrey Bogart waits on tables.

Hedy Lamarr makes sandwiches.

Errol Flynn has his own specialty:

He sweeps out the place.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

[BIG BAND PLAYING]

- Say, isn't that...?

- It's Jimmy Dorsey and his band.

It slipped.

- Does Jimmy Dorsey play here every night?

- Or some other name band.

This place is just one great big jukebox.

- Can I have a seat up close?

- Oh, sure, just help yourself.

- Well, how much is it, Mr. Brown?

- Oh, it's free.

If you see what you want,

just reach for it.

- That is, the food.

- Oh, yes, sir.

I'll have my favorite guide

show you the place.

- Oh, Janie.

JANE:
Yes, Joe?

- Will you show this gentleman the ropes?

- You bet I will.

Are you more interested in the ropes

or the food?

SLIM:
Excuse me for gulping.

- Hungry?

- How'd you know?

- You look like the hungry type, come on.

Say, aren't you Jane Wyman, the actress?

Well, let's just say

I'm Jane Wyman period, huh? Come on.

- Do you work here too?

- Evenings.

My gosh, I thought movie actresses

got paid enough not to have to work nights.

Barbara, here's a hungry soldier.

Feed him plenty.

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