Hollywood Canteen Page #2

- Okay.

- You're Barbara Stanwyck.

How can you tell?

Because you look like you look,

only more so than I thought.

Well, I'm sorry

I'm such a disappointment.

Disappointment?

My gosh, I was more crazy about you

than anybody until...

What came between us?

- Joan Leslie.

- Oh, darn.

Well, maybe it's for the best.

Oh, can I tell my husband

it's all over between us?

I think so.

Think you can handle

a turkey sandwich, Slim?

- That would be wonderful.

- Chocolate cake?

- How did you know my name was Slim?

- Well, I'll tell you.

We got word from the South Pacific that

Slim was coming and to treat him right.

Boy, imagine me standing right here

and talking to Barbara Stanwyck.

I thought you were hungry, Slim?

I am, ma'am, but my stomach

sort of jumped up into my heart.

JIMMY:

And now, your favorites, Jack and Jane...

...to do a little number

with our band.

[SINGING]

What are you doing the rest of your life?

Have you any plans?

I thought if you hadn't anything set

Maybe we'd get together

I got nobody, nobody's got me

My heart's fancy free

So if you're not busy the rest of your life

Then I'll keep you company

What are you doing the rest of your life?

Have you any plans?

Nothing but time on my hands

I thought if you hadn't anything set

Maybe we'd get together

I got nobody

I happen to be

Footloose and fancy-free

So if you're not busy

The rest of your life

Then I'll keep you company

I got nobody

Nobody's got me

That means we're fancy-free

Gee

- Looks like I'll be busy

- Looks like I'll be busy

- The rest of my life

- The rest of my life

- And I'll keep you company

- And I'll keep you company

- Nice work, Jackie, you were swell.

- Thanks, thank you, John.

MAN:

Okay, boy, you're on.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

Excuse me, Jane. Bye.

Use a cup of coffee, Slim?

[COUGHING]

- What's the matter, go down wrong?

- It was seeing you up close that did it.

I've had unkind remarks made about my puss

but I never made anybody choke before.

You've got a good face, Mr. Carson.

It's just that I've seen you in pictures.

When you came at me, I choked.

- Am I that bad?

- Oh, you're great.

But you know how it is,

you see somebody on the screen...

...and then you see them in the flesh,

well, it kind of gets you.

- Does it?

- Sure.

Especially when I know you've been

right up close to Joan Leslie.

- It's that way, huh?

- I used to dream about her in New Guinea.

Well, I guess she's been dreamed about

clear around the world.

Will you sit down at my table?

Don't mind if I do, but it's against the rules

for us busboys to sit down very long.

Please. I...

I want to ask you about Joan Leslie.

I feel that she's just like

the girls back home at heart.

You're perfectly right, pal.

She's not married or anything, is she?

No.

I wonder if it's because

she hasn't met a man yet who...

- Well, who feels about her the way...

- The way you do?

Well, yes, sir.

Well, I...

Slim, I wanna wish you

all the luck in the world.

Thank you, sir.

Watch it, fellas. Coming through here.

Let me through.

- Bette, is Joan Leslie on the list tonight?

- I don't think so. Why?

Some young Purple Heart,

fresh from New Guinea...

...just opened up his heart on Joan.

It was very funny or beautiful.

Bette, excuse me, fellas.

Bette, is Joan Leslie coming tonight?

Not that I know of.

The politest guy that ever walked in here

just asked.

- Tall and slim?

- I took him over to Stanwyck for refueling.

Don't get your hopes up.

He's been Leslie-ized.

- Will you stop? I've been Reagan-ized.

- What's cooking?

There's a boy that says he'll take on

all the Japs for one look at Joan Leslie.

Sounds like an easy way

to get a one-man army. I'll go talk to him.

- Jane, let's go and find out if she's coming.

- All right.

- Excuse me, will you?

- Sure.

Any of you fellas want my autograph?

[MEN LAUGHING]

JIMMY:

And now, the Golden Gate Quartet.

[SINGING]

Said the general to the captain:

"Pops, we gonna cause a commotion"

Then one early morn, they up and gone

The general jumped, he jumped at dawn

Said the captain to the private:

"Man, we gonna flannel the channel"

Then one early morn, they up and gone

The general jumped, he jumped at dawn

- Bye-bye

- Bye-bye

- Bye-bye

- Bye-bye

I'll see you in the sky at Versailles

- Drop in

- Drop in

- Drop in

- Dropping in

We'll have a barbeque in Berlin

Said the private to the general:

"Jack, my jeep is ready and steady"

Then one early morn they up and gone

The general jumped, jumped at dawn

The general had a groovy crew

A million lads and I'm telling you

There were white men

Black men on the beam

A real solid all-American team

He had tall men, small men

Fat and lean

The fightin'est crew

That you've ever seen

Every creed and color and every belief

From an Eskimo to an Indian chief

He had a Sergeant Swenson

A Captain Kelly

Corporal Rosen

And a cook, Morelli

Lieutenant Jackson

And a Private Jode

Then the general said,

"Let's hit the road"

We'll jump, two, three, four

Remember, boys, we've gotta win the war

Said the private to the general:

"Jack, my jeep stays ready and steady"

One early morn they up and gone

The general

The general jumped at dawn

MAN:
Good evening, Miss Leslie.

- Good evening.

GIRL:
Hello, Miss Leslie.

- Hello, Miss Leslie.

I got a call from Bette

to hurry right down.

- She's waiting down the hall for you, Joan.

- Thanks, Andrea.

Bette.

- Oh, hello, Joan.

JOAN:
Hello.

Thank you so much for coming.

I hated to ask you to leave your party,

but this is special.

What's up, Bette?

- You know we don't often show favoritism.

- Yes.

But there's a boy who was wounded

in New Guinea...

...who's been shipped home

after two years in the jungle.

His doctor's given him an okay to report

for his transfer next week.

So he won't be here long.

And all he asks of his leave

is a look at you.

Oh, well, that's easy.

I'll give him a good look.

- Good.

- Hi, Joanie, I've fixed everything.

I found an old hat check in my pocket

with the number 77.

I gave it to the guy and made

like everybody had to have a check.

- For what?

- The winning number gets a kiss...

...from sweet Joanie. Get it?

- Gee, I...

- Isn't that setting a bad precedent, Johnny?

Well, this is something special. Go up to the

fingerprint room, I'll take care of the rest.

Are we going to be introduced first?

I hope.

I think that's the least we can do.

Hi, Johnny. I saw you last in Italy.

Hi. Oh, sure.

South of Cassino, I remember!

You like it better here?

Brother, this is heaven.

Hey, by the way, any of you fellas

got a red check with the number 77 on it?

Oh, I have, Mr. Garfield.

Are you sure it's got 77?

Yeah, look.

Well, come with me, you lucky soldier.

I didn't get any red check.

- No, I didn't get one.

- Neither did I.

JOHN:
Bette?

- Thank you.

Miss Davis, meet Slim, the one-man army.

- Hello, Slim.

- Holy smoke.

You're Mrs. Skeffington.

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