Hollywood Canteen Page #3

I... I mean, Bette Davis, aren't you?

I saw you on the hospital ship before

you were even released on the mainland.

I mean, the picture.

That's one of the advantages

we have over you civilians.

We see the newest pictures

before you do.

We're about to witness a great moment.

Suppose you be chaperone?

SLIM:
Isn't meeting you

what I won on this ticket?

- Oh, thank you, Slim.

- Follow me.

You know, it's all too rarely

in these hectic times...

...that a man has his dreams fulfilled.

Are you sure you've got the right man?

Yeah. Hey, by the way,

what's your last name, pal?

- Green.

- Slim Green...

...it affords me the greatest of pleasure

to present tonight's kiss-giver-outer.

The rest is in your hands.

Hello, Slim.

I didn't know you were quite so beautiful.

I don't know what to say.

So I guess you'd better kiss me.

- Good luck.

- Thanks, I'll never forget.

Well, I guess I'd better go.

- What happened to the sandwiches?

- What happened? Look.

If I could only get rid of

my daughters that fast.

Pardon me, Mr. Cantor, are you married?

[PEOPLE LAUGHING]

- He's new around here, isn't he?

- Yes.

I ain't never seen you in person.

That is, except on the radio.

MAN 1:
How about a song, Eddie?

- Come on, sing a song.

[CHANTING]

We want Cantor! We want Cantor!

I can be had!

We want Cantor! We want Cantor!

All right, gang,

now, what would you like me to do?

And don't say, "The dishes,"

I just did them.

MAN 2:
How about that song?

WOMAN:
Yeah.

All right, all right.

Before I sing, let me tell you what happened

on our last bond-selling tour.

It seems we got into this little town

where they had a beautiful hotel...

...and the proprietor's name

was Mr. Prackle.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

It is kind of funny, isn't it, huh?

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

Well, it isn't that funny, now, is it?

I'm sorry.

Did you lose your outfit?

What's your name?

Mine's Cantor. Remember?

You know, Eddie Cantor?

[SINGING] We're staying home tonight

Da, da, da, da...

What's the matter, pal?

[WHISPERS]

I just kissed Joan Leslie.

No wonder. Why didn't you tell me?

Make way for a soldier

who's just seen action!

MAN:
How about that song, Mr. Cantor?

EDDIE:
All right, boys.

- Oh, Nora? Nora Martin?

- Here I am.

- Nora, we're gonna do the baby song.

- Good.

EDDIE:

All right, boys, let's have the house.

I'll just change my clothes

and come back and meet my wife.

- Irwin, sweetheart.

- Sally.

I didn't mean to call you home,

but I just had to tell you.

What is it, honey?

Well, you see, darling,

we are going to be three.

Your mother's coming to live with us?

- Oh, no, no, Irwin.

- No, no, no.

Well, we're going to get something

that looks exactly like you.

Sweetheart.

Now I know.

You're buying a cocker spaniel.

- Oh, no, Irwin, you don't understand.

- No, no?

Well, stop hinting. What is it?

- Well, darling...

- Yes?

We're going to have a baby.

A baby.

You and:

You're gonna be a mother.

- And I'm gonna be a father.

- Yes.

- I'm gonna be a father.

- Oh, Irwin, darling, please sit down.

Oh, are you all right?

Yes.

A baby.

I can't get over it.

[SINGING]

We're having a baby

My baby and me

You'll read it in Winchell

That we're adding a limb

To our family tree

While pushing that carriage

How proud we will be

There's nothing like marriage

Ask your mother and father

And they'll agree

Thanks to you, life is bright

I know it couldn't be brighter

Tell me, will a boy be all right?

She never heard about Ida

Someday he'll be the president

It may be a she

- We're having a baby

- We're having a baby

- My baby and me

- My baby and me

Sit down, darling, don't stand.

Sit down.

Already, I've started

knitting things for him.

- Really?

- Yes, look, darling.

Who you expecting, Superman?

- Mama.

- Papa.

Just think, it's my first one

The next one's on me

- We're having a baby

- We're having a baby

- My baby and me

- My baby and me

Thank you. Thank you, boys and girls.

Thank you very much.

- Nora, you were lovely in that number.

- Thank you.

You know, my conscience bothered me

kissing Nora with you good-looking fellas...

Come here, soldier! You. Yes, come on up.

Make him get up.

Come on up! Come on.

Give him a nice kiss, Nora.

Go on, give him a kiss, Nora, that's it.

Yeah, and now you, sailor.

Come on up, sailor.

Yeah, look at him, look at him go.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

[TIRES SCREECH]

[HORN HONKS]

Hey!

Where have you been?

What's got into you?

I kissed Joan Leslie.

- What?

- I kissed Joan Leslie.

- Where?

- Where you usually kiss people.

- Upstairs in this fingerprinting room...

- Fingerprinting room?

Yeah, John Garfield and Bette Davis

took me up there and I kissed her.

Was Napoleon there too?

What do you mean, Napoleon?

Believe me, I only saw her.

And she just up and kissed you?

No, no, no.

I up and kissed her

and then she kissed me back...

...because I had this little red ticket

with 77 on it.

Slim, you come with me.

- Sit down, will you?

- Wait...

- I'm gonna take you to the hospital.

- Why? I feel great.

Okay, you feel great.

Tell me more about this little red ticket

with a number on it...

...that lets you get to kiss Joan Leslie.

You don't believe me, huh?

Yeah, I believe you. Sure, I believe you.

I'm gonna give you a chance

to prove it too.

MAN:

Good evening, general.

[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

Good evening, general.

Good evening, general.

Don't let these three stripes fool you,

Mr. Sakall, I'm just a sergeant.

In Hollywood... In Hollywood Canteen,

everyone is a general.

You are looking for somebody?

I sure am.

I think you mean what I know.

I was in the last war.

I remember a weekend pass...

...pretty girl, a little music...

I'll just settle for somebody to talk to.

Somebody to talk to?

Well, time marches on.

Good evening, general.

Goodbye.

- Mr. Sakall.

- Yes?

May I?

Help yourself.

Goodbye, general.

- Mr. Sakall.

- Yeah?

Do you mind?

Help yourself.

Goodbye, general.

May I?

Help yourself.

ANNOUNCER:

Presenting:
The Sons of the Pioneers.

[SINGING]

See them tumbling down

Pledging their love to the ground

Lonely but free I'll be found

Drifting along

With the tumbling tumbleweeds

I'm a rovin' cowboy

Ridin' all day long

Tumbleweeds around me

Sing their lonely song

Nights underneath a prairie moon

I ride alone and sing a tune

See them tumbling down

I really go for that cowboy music.

Me too, it reminds me of Flatbush.

Lonely but free I'll be found

Drifting along

With the tumbling tumbleweeds

Hey, that's Roy Rogers and Trigger.

[YELLS]

Boys and gals, it really is swell

getting a chance to be here...

...at the Hollywood Canteen,

to meet you all in person and say howdy.

This is Trigger's way of saying hello.

Trigger seems to like the ladies in here.

How about throwing them a kiss, Trigger?

Will you give me a kiss? How about me?

Oh, just one? Just give me one kiss.

Come on.

Doggone, he sure kisses juicy.

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