Hollywood Canteen Page #9

BETTE:

Well, do the best you can.

Oh, Jack, Mr. Kaufman has generously

consented to accompany you.

How nice.

Mr. Kaufman, I don't know how well

you know Mr.Szigeti...

...but it just so happens

that he practically stole the...

Oh, Mr. Szigeti, I'd like to introduce myself.

My name is Benny.

- Oh, yes, yes.

- Benny, the violinist.

America's foremost violinist.

Why, I thought you were

a radio comedian.

Oh, I do dabble in radio occasionally,

but music is really my racket.

And incidentally, I want to congratulate

you on the rendition of "The Bee."

- Thank you.

- Which I had intended to play.

Oh, I am sorry about that,

but really if you had only spoken up...

Well, I wouldn't worry about it...

...because I have other numbers

up my sleeve too, brother.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

Hm.

But, Mr. Szigeti, I was just thinking,

instead of playing a violin solo...

...it might be a rather good idea

if we played a duet together.

Why, that could be rather amusing.

Is there anything in particular

you would care to suggest?

Oh, I don't care,

you suggest something, anything.

It really makes no difference.

How about:

"The Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso"

by Saint-Sans?

Oh, the "Ca... The Capriccio... Oso."

Yes, I could take the "Introduction"...

...and you do the "Capriccioso."

Oh, I would do the "Capriccio..."?

Yes, yes, yes.

Well, you see...

...that number never seemed

to get anywhere.

I mean, people don't hum it.

How would you like to play...?

I have a suggestion.

How would you like to play,

"Love in Bloomioso"?

- "Bloomioso"?

- Yes.

Well, I don't think

I've ever heard that one.

He's supposed to be

the world's greatest violinist.

Well, then maybe something else.

How about "Souvenir"?

"Souvenir"? Which "Souvenir"?

- The what?

SZIGETI:
Which "Souvenir"?

- Which?

SZIGETI:
Whose?

- Whose?

- Any "Souvenir." I don't care as long as...

"Souvenir."

We could play "The Souvenir."

Oh, that one I haven't played in years.

I haven't played it since I was that high:

Oh, good, good. Well, shall we tune up?

- Let's tune up.

- All right, sir.

A? Could I have A, please?

No, no, A, A.

Just a second.

Mr. Kaufman, could I have A, please?

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

[PIANO PLAYING]

I'll take it now.

[SQUEAKS]

It's an old violin.

[SCRATCHING]

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

Do let me finish.

Honestly, folks,

can you tell the difference?

[SCRATCHES]

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

Hi, pal.

- Where's Joan?

- At a radio rehearsal.

She's meeting us here at 9:30

to take us to the train.

If she's taking you to the train,

I got scientific plans. See you later.

Someday we may have

a millionth junior hostess.

Maybe then we girls can have

our choice of you men for a weekend date.

- I think that'd be jolly decent.

WOMAN:
Whom would you pick?

Oh, I've already picked him,

but he knows none of us girls...

...can make dates for when we leave,

so he's safe.

I did so want to go up to Hollywoodland

and discuss scientific things with him.

- Where's Hollywoodland?

- Oh, up on top of everything, sergeant.

What of a scientific nature

is there up there?

Well, that all depends

on who's being scientific about what.

Well, I see, yes.

Suppose a fellow had an interest in things

subconsciously primeval...

- ...and he was up there?

- He'd have to take a taxi to get there first.

Suppose he took a taxi?

He wouldn't know where to tell

the taxi driver to go, would he?

What's the poor guy gonna do?

Well, I suppose all he can do,

since it's 9:
00...

...is to go to the corner of Sunset and

Cahuenga Boulevard and get in a cab there.

And then what?

Well, if he waits long enough...

...maybe somebody will come along

and snuggle right in beside him...

...and tell the driver where to go.

What if there's nobody nice enough

to do all that?

I think there will be.

Yes, but how can you tell, old girl?

Well, it's merely a matter of instinct,

old boy.

[NOLAN HUMS]

And a little science helps sometimes.

Well, end of my shift, bye. Miss me.

Charming people, quite odd.

I haven't the vaguest idea...

...what they were talking about,

have you?

- No.

- No.

ANNOUNCER:

Fellas, here he is, Carmen Cavallaro.

Thank you very much.

And now, boys and girls,

with your kind permission...

...we would like to play our version

of "Voodoo Moon."

Thank you very much.

And, now, folks,

we have a great big surprise for you.

If you'll kindly move back

and make a great big circle...

...and you gentlemen,

please move the tables out here...

...we'll be very happy to present...

...the world's greatest

Spanish-Gypsy dancers:

Rosario and Antonio.

[ROSARIO SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

- Hey!

- Hey!

- Hey!

- Hey!

Tonight we have

a very distinguished visitor.

Our millionth man,

Corporal Slim Green.

He told me that last night when he

was chosen, he was too startled to speak.

Now he's found his voice

and he'd like to say something.

So, gentlemen, your representative,

Corporal Slim Green.

Fellas, I guess any of you who were here

last night and saw...

...how I was lucky enough to be number

1 million were kind of ashamed of me.

All I said was "Golly."

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

I know I let you down.

That's why I wanted to come back up here

before I shove off tonight.

I happened to be number 1 million...

...but I just represent

every fella who's ever come here.

I might have been a soldier, a flier, a sailor

of the British Commonwealth of Nations...

...or a Chinese air cadet,

here to learn to fly.

I might have been

one of our friends from Russia...

...or one of our own colored boys.

I might have come from

the Philippines across the Pacific...

...or from down under,

from New Zealand or Australia.

Or maybe been a Free Frenchman.

I might have been

one of the boys from South America.

Or from our next-door neighbor Mexico.

Or maybe escaped from Norway

or the Netherlands or Denmark...

...or Greece or Poland or Czechoslovakia

or any of the countries.

I might have been wearing kilts

like a Scotsman...

...but believe me, if I was, you could see

my knees shaking right now.

So I was all of you fellas rolled up into one

when they made this short leave...

...in Hollywood

into some kind of paradise for me.

We've seen people we've dreamed of,

up close.

And we've found them all as real

as they are famous.

They wait on us, they wash our dishes.

Gosh, they come up here every night

to make us laugh or even choke up a little.

But whatever they do,

they make us forget for a while...

...where we've been

or where we're going.

Still, I think we'll remember longest,

that most us arrived here lonely.

But after coming to the Canteen,

we weren't lonely anymore.

So, Miss Davis, when I just said,

"Golly," last night...

...I was feeling as grateful

as all the boys are.

Except that we can't put it into words.

So instead of saying, "Thanks,"

we just say, "Golly," and never forget.

Thank you, Slim.

You've given us something

we'll never forget.

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