Hollywood Ending

You know who would be perfect

to direct this...

...not that I relishthe idea of

working with him, but my ex-husband.

Val?

He's perfect for this material.

She's right. It's his kind of story.

I love Val, but with all due respect,

he's araving, incompetent psychotic.

He's not incompetent.

They should lock him up andthrow away

the key. Don't take that the wrong way.

We'll wind up $20 million over budget

and no picture to boot.

I did apicture with him at Firestone.

He never fini... had anervous breakdown.

He was under alot of stress.

We'd just broken up.

Honey, he was fired off apicture here

at Galaxie before I took over.

They said his demands

were outrageous.

The light hadto be perfect.

The sun hadto be just right.

He demandedthey replace

the leading lady.

He wantedto reshoot dailies,

fire the cameraman.

He got shingles. They shut downthe

picture and found another director.

You don't have to tell me.

I was marriedto himthen.

But that was 10 years ago.

His best pictures were 10 years ago.

Then he became an artiste.

I amthe last personto defendthat

craziness, because it drove me nuts.

But Val cares about movies.

He was bornto do this material.

Ellie, we're talking about shingles,

headaches. Why open a can of worms?

He's mellowed, I'mtelling you.

Who better to direct this?

New York's in his marrow.

Just let me say this: Ruth.

- Yes, Ruth.

- No way.

He's great! I know we could get him.

He'd be safe.

We can put our foot on his neck.

Martin Ruth!

Val hasn't worked in years.

We could make a good deal.

Then watch him like ahawk.

We're goingto lose alot

more with Val!

I agree with Ellie. I think he's

the ideal director for this project.

But we won't use him,

because who needstrouble?

And why would he work with us,

given allthe personal baggage?

I'mtold he's in no position

to be fussy.

I can't stand it here!

What the hell am I doing in Canada?

Lori, they got moose up here!

Are moose carnivorous?

How can you be homesick? You got there

yesterday. You come home tomorrow.

Val! We're goodto go, Val!

Waiting on you!

Did my agent call?

Any word onthat TV movie?

The interracial abortion

gene-splicingthing?

The TV movie decided

to go with Peter Bogdanovich.

Oh, that's great!

That's just great!

You know, I love Peter.

Peter's abeautiful guy.

God bless him. Oh, God.

The client wants overhead coverage

of the spray cans.

One minute! This is humiliating! I'm up

here shooting a deodorant commercial.

I got two Oscars! Up here you don't need

Oscars, you need antlers!

Here's a funny script

about two fraternity kids...

...who invent amachine to turn women

back into virgins. It's very clever.

What'sthe matter?

When you asked me to come out here...

...you promised me I wouldn't just be

one of those bright women who...

...finds properties, goesto lunch 500

times developingthem,

then never gets one made.

Honey, "The City That Never Sleeps"

is greenlit. That's been your project.

Until I suggest the director.

Then...

...though you admit he's perfect,

I get shot down.

You weren't shot down.

It's arisky choice,

but an inspired one.

I think you want to help him

because you feel guilty.

Guilty? Why? Because I fell

in love with you?

I put in enough years

inthat marriage...

Right. You did nothing wrong.

I know, and I brought up

his name because...

...he would give youthe best movie

for that script.

He's probably too angry

to speakto you.

And he could ruinthe picture

to get even with me...

No, you're wrong about that. He would

be grateful. He needs a comeback.

Ellie, this is a very,

very expensive film.

It has solid box office potential.

He can do it.

You don't regret leaving him,

do you?

One day you look up and realize

that laughs are not enough.

I can handle him, Hal. Ijust got tired

of havingto allthe time.

Andthen, you know... I met you.

What are you doing home?

I quit.

No, Val, not again!

You quit over nothing again?!

Not over nothing.

I quit over abigthing.

They fired me. I thought that was big

enoughto quit over.

Oh, Val, that's just great!

I got the last plane out of Toronto.

Have you ever seen Canada? Now

I know why there's no crime up there.

I must say, you don't seem

too enthused at seeing me.

Can you blame me? Now you'lljust sit

around, talking about the good old days.

I got to get apicture. Someone has

to take a chance on me.

This is ridiculous. When you're cold,

you're cold.

Fortunately,

my business manager put

away enough money

before he went to prison...

...for me to live on another 3

weeks, maybe.

Your agent called.

If you had come with me,

it might have been different.

Two people in a sleeping bag

is alot cozier.

Who'd go on for me inthe play?

For God's sakes,

it's an off-off-Broadway play!

Your understudy could have gone on.

Are you kidding? My understudy?

That'd be the night Steven Spielberg

comes. Or Harvey Weinstein.

They're not coming, believe me.

They're fasting.

I would have been so good

inthat Shakespeare movie.

What'sthat?

Pelts. I traded with a fur trapper

between shots...

...so the trip wouldn't be

atotal loss.

Your agent sent over that script.

A script?

Why didn't youtell me about this?

"The City That Never Sleeps".

When didthis come in?

Well? What did youthink of it?

I think it has definite potential.

It's got areally good

Manhattan feelto it.

They're interested in you directing.

That's, uh, that's fine with me.

This isthe kind of material I can

do great. I can make this script sing.

This is New York. It's nightclubs,

the skyline.

- Want some water? I'm very excited.

- Me, too.

Who wants me?

Well, we have alittle sellingto do,

but Galaxie is making it.

- Hal Yeager?

- That's right.

He stole my wife.

Ellie'sthe one pushing you.

Pass! I'm not goingto work

with Hal Yeager and Ellie.

He's a Philistine and she's a quisling.

It's areligious conflict.

Calm down. It's everything

you've been looking for.

I'm frankly flabbergasted

they'd eventhink of me.

They didn't think of you. She did.

She convinced Yeager to fly

to New York and meet with you.

This guy stole my wife.

He doesn't holdthat against you.

It's business.

Can you believe that she would

leave me for Hal Yeager?

I still can't get my mind

around it. Mr. Slick...

The price of his haircut

could feed a family of five.

Calm down. You're getting all red.

And you're telling me he doesn't

want me? She'sthe...?

The nerve of that...

He's such amanicured phony!

May he fall on his blow comb

and get hot inthe wrong place.

Please, Val. Don't do anything

to killthis. It's a golden opportunity.

I'd rather do the geriatric diaper

commercial I turned down.

That's what the future holds

if this fallsthrough.

Of course I wouldn't.

This is aterrific script. I...

Come on, make some sense now.

A $60-million,

first-class feature film.

A big payday, which you need. And...

...if you score withthis,

you're back ontop.

Rate this script:2.0 / 3 votes