Holy Man Page #11

- Graphics.

- Go to G.

- On G.

- And take the journey--

- To your telephone...

and call the Good Buy Channel...

where the good buys

are available 24-hours a day.

- Go to graphics.

- Graphics.

- Go to Barry.

- And to Barry.

- Cue Barry.

[ Stammering ]

Okay.

- Thanks, G. [ Chuckles ] Um--

- [ Ricky ] Good.

You're watching the, uh,

the Good Buy Shopping Network...

where the grass is always...

just a little bit greener.

- [ Phone Ringing ]

- Look at him go.

This is Kate.

Hi, Mary.

Great. I'll tell him.

Well, we don't have to worry about

what to do with the grass mats.

- They're selling out.

- Already?

Now, that's what I like to hear.

The grass mats are selling out.

- All right!

- [ Laughing ]

Thank you so much.

Good job.

[ Barry ] lf you're feeling bad,

and you want a little spring...

in your winter--

[ Continues lndistinct ]

[ Crowd Shouting ]

Well, that was just the best macaroni

and cheese dinner I think I ever... had.

Kraft in the box is,

of course, the classic...

- but you have a... touch.

- My pleasure.

- Are you okay?

- I'm fine.

Wait a minute.

The way you say

"I'm fine--"

What's the matter?

I'm worried about G.

Remember when we first met him?

He was so happy.

And that smile.

And now he just seems drained.

Well, like us.

You know, it's all the work.

Right, it is all the work. And now that

he's caught on, it'll only get worse.

It started so simply, and now it's

become this whole, big production.

It's the Hayman

and Newell circus...

with the G chants and the orchestras

and the announcers.

- Kinda fun, huh? Kitsch.

- Oh. Today...

- Yeah?

- at the station, they were

pitching me things that go...

- way beyond the G T-shirts.

- What did they show you?

They have got

this cheese spread...

- named after him called--

- G Whiz.

- [ Chuckling ] What? ls that terrible?

- Oh.

- You knew about this?

- I helped come up with it.

- I thought it was funny.

- Oh, Ricky.

- What?

- What about that wrapping ribbon...

- called the, the--

- G String.

[ Snickering ]

Look, I mean,

who are we hurting anyway?

You know, the people who are

getting this amazing message?

I don't think so. You know.

Certainly-- Are we hurting G?

You know, instead of getting stuff

tossed at him on some lonely highway...

he's reaching America,

he's reaching the country.

Who's losing out?

It's all good.

Yes, but we are making money

off of that image.

But-- No, but so does every religion

that sells a crucifix...

or a Star of David or a stick

of incense is making money.

And, you know,

everything that we sell...

people are buying, I think,

'cause they feel closer to G.

And if they wear a G T-shirt,

people think, oh, you know...

what he's all about,

what he's talking about,

and they become better people.

Don't you think so?

I think so.

The difference is...

- What?

- G would do this for free.

I think we should let him go.

What?

[ Stammering ]

I mean, he's not chained in my basement,

you know. He's a free man.

- But what are you talking about?

- It's the right thing to do.

I've decided

to take G prime time.

I'm gonna give him his own

half-hour show. What's the matter?

- Surely you don't think

this is a bad idea.

- No, no.

He has the broadest appeal of any

on-air personality we've ever had.

Yeah, that's right,

that's right, but, uh--

And I love the idea of a new G show.

I was thinking the same thing.

This is so funny. That's why I wanted

to talk to you. Listen to this.

I think it's a great idea.

What if--

uh, we start a show--

whatever time slot--

with G and other hosts?

Wait a minute.

An ensemble show...

where G doesn't have to,

you know, carry the whole thing.

- We could even phase him out

at some point--

- Are you nuts?

He's the guy they're interested in.

I don't understand your hesitation.

Oh, wait a second.

Wait. I know.

- Yeah.

- I know, and I understand.

- Yeah!

- You're upset because I promised

I'd take care of you...

if this took off, and I haven't.

- Oh. Oh.

- Yet.

But if you launch this...

and if you make it work...

then... everything

you've wanted...

everything that you have

ever dreamed about will be yours--

an office next to mine...

a view of the studio, a car...

the perks, the bonuses--

everything will be yours.

- And Kate?

- To hell with Kate.

Do you wanna produce the show

or don't you?

Look, as far as I'm concerned,

Kate is indispensable.

We couldn't have gotten here

without Kate, and...

my deal would have to be in place,

'cause, that's right...

- you said the last show,

if I made that work--

- I also said...

to get G signed up, and have you

done that, Mr On-the-ball?

- Yeah, he's been here.

- I don't see any paper.

Oh, well, that's just

a matter of signing.

Why? He doesn't have a pen?

You get him signed up.

And then...

we'll talk your deal.

Whether you're a lover of jazz,

gospel, classic or rock...

you'll be able to select

the kind of sound...

that is going to fit

whatever kind of music you enjoy.

This is the stereo that really does

give you all kinds of features...

but it does it

in a compact size.

So if it's gonna go on a bookshelf,

if it's gonna go--

[ Continues lndistinct ]

[ Clears Throat ]

Am I bothering you?

No. How could you ever bother me?

I love talking to you.

That's what I wanted to do--

talk with you.

- Ricky and I were thinking--

- [ Phone Ringing ]

Excuse me one second. Hello?

Yes, Dr Simon.

[ Chuckles ] So tell me, how long

before I can continue my journey?

How could it be chronic?

Uh, how can it be chronic?

Well, i-it's chronic because--

It's chronic because of the decrease

that we registered in your--

[ Coughing ]

I'm sorry, I got--

I got a little phlegm there. And--

[ Clearing Throat ]

[ Coughing ] Yeah, the, um,

the decrease we registered in your "N--"

Dolphins.

Endorphins!

I'm sorry, l-l couldn't

read my own writing.

You know, doctor's handwriting.

Yes.

Uh, that number

was sufficiently...

Iow, so...

ass two, as to...

demonstrate...

that you...

have a...

poor heart--

At this time, I'm--

I'm, uh--

I'm afraid, uh, that you, uh...

need to--

Stay on the floor!

Uh, no, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I was, uh,

giving instructions to my dog.

Yeah, I'm-l'm afraid that

this time you need to, uh...

stick... around...

for several months, or...

- perhaps until the end of time.

- [ Toy Squeaking ]

Uh, just a little

doctor joke there, G.

- [ Squeaks ]

- [ Chuckling ] Yeah.

No, I'm just calling

to make sure that you're okay.

Yeah, l-l-l know

that you're disappointed.

No, as soon as the heat breaks,

I'll-l'll call to...

make another appointment.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Thanks. Bye-bye.

[ Sighing ]

[ Sighing ]

Did he buy that?

I think so.

He sounded awfully sad, though.

He did?

Okay, now I can get him

to sign the contract.

- Oh, my God.

- Kate! Kate!

What, what, what, what?

No, what? Where are you going?

Ricky, how? G trusted you.

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