Honig im Kopf Page #6

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Margarethe...

- Filthy man!

- What is it?

He wanted to rape me!

- Yeah, you wish.

- He did!

He grabbed my breasts!

Grandpa got the wrong compartment.

He has Alzheimer's.

Alois. Alois Alzheimer.

Thomas.

Thomas Muller.

Three goals against Portugal.

Could you kindly ask this woman

to vacate our Portugal...

our compartment?

This isn't your compartment.

It's her compartment.

It's her compartment?

Yes, well then...

It was a pleasure.

By the WHY.

Your wife...

She's very soft and nice to the touch.

Thanks for the compliment.

Did you hear that, dear?

This way, Grandpa.

Sorry for the disturbance. Good night.

Here.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

I hope you guys are okay.

Don't worry about us.

Could you tell me

where the toilet can is?

Here.

- You have chips in your hair.

- Do you want one?

Thanks.

Toilet.

Oh sh*t!

Grandpa!

No way!

Hello?

This way.

Maybe we should just surrender.

No! It's Venice or bust.

- I could stay and stall them.

- Grandpa!

Hey, we're closed!

- I think you got the wrong door.

- That way, Grandpa.

Sweet.

We'll wait till they're gone.

Those pretty ladies?

No, the police.

I have to wee.

All right.

Grandpa?

I have to go on that toilet.

- But sit down!

- Yes, Grandpa.

Grandma always sat down too.

No way!

She did.

We're sitting on a train, as you see.

And we had breakfast.

Chips, because they're so healthy.

Your little girl sure is sweet.

Yes, a train compartment.

- So what now?

- It could be anywhere.

- Anywhere on a train!

- Exactly.

We've informed the railway police.

They'll contact us once they find them.

- Trust me, Mrs...

- Rosenbach.

Mrs. Rosenbach, look on the bright side.

They're on a train, they're well,

and having loads of fun.

Hello?

Hello there?

Hello?

Who's there?

The mayor.

Could you please open the door for me?

I can't.

I can't get the thing...

This thing here...

Just turn the latch to the right.

- To the right.

- I don't know how to...

- Grandpa, is it the police?

- No.

The mayor.

The mayor thing was just a joke.

I'm Erdal, the cleaner.

You're the girl

with the grandpa who has Alzheimer's.

Who has Alzheimer's?

- How do you know that?

- Hey, this is Bolzano.

You're breaking news.

What did you do?

Nothing.

Nothing?

I heard you pulled the emergency brake.

- Messed up the timetable.

- I'd have lost my grandpa if I hadn't.

Well, we can't have that.

Where are you two from?

- We're from Hamburg.

- Hamburg?

- Me too.

- Really?

What am I going to do with you?

- Can you help us?

- Sure, Hamburgers have to stick together.

What are you doing?

I can't sleep.

Come to bed. It's four a.m.

- Still looking for your honey?

- Yes. Why?

Then come here, you have to see this.

I asked him over and over

if he'd seen it.

Do you know what he said?

"I'm allergic to honey."

- Shameless!

- Should I get us wine?

It's dark in here.

- Careful, cops.

- Did he say cows?

Are you nuts?

"MOO!"

said the cow.

"MOO!"

said the cow.

What would you say if I quit?

- You love your job.

- I want to be there for Tilda and Amandus.

- Are you sure about that?

- Yeah.

It'd be great.

I should've done it long ago.

I'm supposed to say hi from Serge.

He's grateful to you.

Why?

Well, he had the dentist put in

a new incisor with a diamond in it.

Now he says

he's an even bigger hit with the ladies.

I don't believe that.

He did.

See for yourself.

No way!

Hello, I'm Erdal, I'm...

Hello, I'm Erdal.

Born in Hamburg, 1983, but not a German.

I'm integrated and speak perfect German,

but still a foreigner.

What are you trying to say?

If my parents had been from Sudetenland,

I'd be German.

It's unfair.

Whatever, now South Tyrol is my home.

A real South Tyrolean.

Accent mishmash, but...

Erdal, get to the point!

Okay. Dear...

What's your mom's name?

- Sandra.

- Sandra. All right.

Dear Sandra, dear Niko, don't worry.

Your lovely daughter Tilda is doing great.

Once this guy here

and this little girl right here

see the City of Love, she'll call.

- Then you can pick them up.

- Great!

- Really? Thanks.

- Now we can do that again.

What? That was my best.

It's off!

You sent it?

- Great!

- You said it was great.

- Didn't you hear the way I said it?

- No.

- They know where we're going!

-"City of Love."

- That could be Paris.

- Right.

From Hamburg via South Tyrol to Paris?

Why not? You can go from Berlin

to Hamburg via the Black Forest.

Hey, there he is!

...see the City of Love, she'll call.

Then you can pick them up.

They're heading to Venice.

- That's insane!

- That's his purpose.

It's "buenos dias", "noches" is night.

- There's no moon, see?

- Sure, Professor.

- Are those my passengers?

- Yep.

Hi, I'm Emre.

I'm your getaway driver.

All right then, hop in your limo.

They're going to Venice too?

Sure, they've never been.

- Can't we sit up front?

- You may be seen.

Avanti!

Or they'll close the border.

- Europe has no borders now.

- I was joking.

Right.

- Thanks, Erdal.

- Look after Gramps.

You're an awesome girl.

I'm proud of you.

Thanks for the pants.

No problem, I have plenty of them.

I think it's sensational!

- Hi, Mom.

- She's sensational!

- She got that from me.

- Why so chipper?

Because what she's doing is grand.

Really. Sensational!

Don't make that face!

It is grand.

- But I'm worried.

- Tilda's no fool.

She'll be there.

And it's good for you to get out of here.

We'll call when we land.

Tell us if they call you.

Yes, sir. Aye-aye.

I'll drink to you.

Have fun, you two!

Now, where's the Calvados?

It stinks.

Oh, I love that smell.

Well now, you're a lovely girl.

How do you know it's a girl?

From her face.

But she has balls.

- Where?

- Certainly not on her face.

- F***!

- What is it?

909$

Sh*t.

- What can I do for you?

- License and registration, please.

Sure thing.

What are you looking for?

What do you...

Sheep.

Can I go now?

Open up.

Have you never seen sheep?

Open up.

Please.

They smell pretty nasty.

Get out of the vehicle.

- And open up.

- Now?

NOW!

It's like magic.

She's damn clever, that girl.

I meant the sheep.

I don't know which one yet.

I'll call you first when I find out.

Got a card?

How long are you staying?

- Not sure yet.

- Wait and see, eh?

All I have are two suites.

Then we'll take a suite, eh?

It's very nice.

However, it does cost...

-1,800 euros.

- For a single night?

Insanity! Let's get another hotel.

Just pretend the price is in lire.

We'll take the suite.

Your signature, please.

You won't regret it.

That suite has been the scene

of the conception of many a bambino.

No more sandwiches.

What a lot of funny lines.

How are you supposed to find your way?

We can share the apple.

You can have it.

- I'm in the mood for sheep.

- Sheep?

We could catch ourselves one.

We're not going to eat a sheep!

Just a really little one?

Half of one?

- Half a little one?

- Have half an apple.

Would you say

you're scared of being dead?

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