Hook Page #3

Parachute...

Firefly from hell!

Big damn bug!

It is you! It is! A big you!

It's not bad you're big.

You were always big.

Maybe this means you'll

be twice as much fun.

What fun we'll have again!

What times! What great games!

You're a little...

Faerie.

Pixie.

If less is more, there's

no end to me, Peter Pan.

- Peter Banning.

- Pan.

- Banning.

- Pan.

Whoever you are, it's still you.

Because only one

person has that smell.

Smell?

The smell of someone

who's ridden the wind.

The smell of sleeping in trees.

Adventures with Indians and pirates.

Remember? The world was ours!

We could do everything or nothing.

I had to be anything

because it was always us.

It's happened. I'm having

a nervous breakdown.

Follow me and

all will be well.

I'm dying. Heading towards

the white light. I've left my body.

There's my house down there.

There are my feet.

- Where are we going?

- To save your children!

- How do you know about my kids?

- Everybody knows!

Hook's got them and

you've gotta fight him! Let's fly!

It is true, then.

You did grow up.

I drank poison for you.

You used to call me "Tink."

- Have you forgotten everything?

- Are you in there, bug?

I'm not a bug. I'm a faerie.

I do not believe in faeries.

Anytime someone says, "I do not believe

in faeries," a faerie falls down dead.

I do not believe in faeries!!

My God, I think I killed it.

Are you alive, little bug?

Look out!

Clap your hands, Peter.

It's the only way to save me.

Clap...

Louder.

Louder, Peter!

I'm clapping!

Oh, God, you're alive!

All right. Now, who am I?

You're a Freudian

hallucination of my mother.

I don't know why you have wings,

but you have lovely legs.

What am I saying?

I'm an orphan.

I've never taken drugs. I missed

the '60s. I was an accountant.

Guess again!

Look, stars!

That's right, Peter.

Second star to the right

and straight on till morning.

Never Land!

What a nightmare!

Roll out! Roll out!

Lovely fish! Fresh fish!

We keep the eyes in so

they'll see you through the week!

Excuse me. Is there

a pay phone around here?

That is so real.

Peter, get back here!

Get down! Get low!

Hide!

If it ain't the Mother Inferior.

Gentlemen, I'm looking for someone.

I fancy them shiny

shoes for my booties.

I think you can

get them at Armani.

Tink! Tink! Help!

Don't get no blood on them boots!

They's mine!

Help me! Tinkerbell!

You pixie devil!

Please don't! I have a bad back!

You pixie devil!

Are you related

to Mighty Mouse?

If you insist on seeing Hook...

...do exactly what I say.

Your left arm is dead

and hangs lifeless at your side.

Lean on the crutch!

Left foot turned in.

Tilt your head and

glare with your good eye!

Now crack your mouth

and drool. Now growl!

Growl!

- How are you?

- Not bad, and you?

Not bad!

Put your faces on, girls.

Here comes Smee!

Follow that Hook!

Make way for the Hook!

Me mother loves that Hook!

Give us the Hook!

Give us the Hook!

Good morning, Never Land!

Good morning, Mr. Smee!

Tie down the main mast, mateys.

Because here he is!

The cunning kingfish!

The brave barracuda!

A man so deep, he's

almost unfathomable.

A man so quick,

he's even fast asleep!

Thank you!

Let's give him a very big hand...

...because he's only got one.

I give you the

steel-handed stingray...

...Captain James Hook!

Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook!

See how greatly

the men favor you, sir?

The pealing spawn.

How I despise them!

Go get 'em, captain!

Thank you!

Well, my stupid, sorry,

parasitic sacks of entrails...

Revenge is mine.

Long live the Hook!

I baited that Hook and

now I'm proud to announce...

...we have his children.

My God! Jack and Maggie.

Finally I'm going

to kill Peter Pan...

...that cocky boy who cut off

my hand and fed it to the crocodile!

And who killed that

cunning crocodile? Who stuffed him?

Who made him into a quiet clock?

Who went to the other world

and stole Pan's children?

And who didn't

believe I could do it?

Who doubted me?

Who amongst us does not belong?

Someone here does not belong.

Stranger amongst the loyal,

I'll weed you out.

You!

You!

Where's the carpet, Smee?

Sorry, sir.

You!

You! That's right, you!

No, not you! Not you.

You.

You!

You bet against me bringing

Pan back here, didn't you?

Tell your captain the truth.

Say it. Say it.

I did.

- You made a boo-boo.

- I did.

- The Boo Box.

- Not the Boo Box!

Boo!

Put me down!

I want my mommy!

I want my daddy!

Hello, children.

Comfy? Cozy?

Those are my kids!

Those are my kids!

Everything's gonna be all right.

It's all right. Daddy's here.

I want those kids out of that net

or you better get an attorney.

Who are you?

I'm Peter Banning.

I want my children.

Those are your?

These are your children?

And you're?

You're Peter?

You're Peter? No!

- You're Peter?

- Is there an echo in here? Yes!

My great and worthy opponent?

Who is this impostor?

Peter flogging flying Pan!

I'm not Peter Pan.

I am just an ordinary...

I've got a sworn

affidavit by a T. Bell.

I've got his medical history.

I even got his dental records.

Are you trying to

do me out of my job?

May I show you something?

Will you let go?

Release him.

- May I show you this?

- Will you shut him up.

- Captain, put these on.

- I want to see the scar.

The hypertrophy.

Here's where you sliced him

during the Tiger Lily incident.

That's my appendix!

What's this?

Faerie footprints. He's Peter Pan

or I've got a dead man's dinghy.

Is it you?

My great and worthy opponent?

But it can't be.

Not this pitiful,

spineless, pasty, bloated...

...codfish I see before me.

You're not even

a shadow of Peter Pan.

You have an obligation to

clarify this Pan problem.

This disaster.

- Which must be remedied.

- Expediently.

I want my children.

The stakes can be no higher.

For me, sir, they could have

sunk no lower. And I want my war!

Blow him out

of the water!

Daddy's handling this. It's okay.

Pick up your weapon.

How much?

Hoist and raise the kiddies!

I'll make you a deal,

Mr. Chairman. Fly up there...

...and touch the fingers of your

children, and I'll set them free.

I can't fly.

Explode out of there! Stop

this charade! Free your children!

I beg your pardon?

You must be joking.

Peter Pan has a

real problem with heights.

I'm not Peter Pan.

It's okay. Hang on, son.

I'm coming, sweetheart.

- Somebody give me a hand.

- I already have.

Save us, Daddy!

"Save me, Daddy!"

We know who you are!

What new game is this, Peter? Fly!

Stop pretending!

Fly! I know it's you!

Be the Pan you are. Fly!

Fly! Think a happy thought.

Just touch our fingers

and we'll be able to go home.

Touch them, Peter, and

it's all been just a bad dream!

Just reach out and touch them!

Flap your arm and fly!

Reach!

Come on, Daddy.

Mommy could do it.

I don't understand. Why doesn't

he fly? He's a fop Peter Pan!

He's Peter Pan, all right, captain.

He's been away from Never Land so

long, his mind's been gentrified.

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