Hoot Page #2

There you go.

Each one of them tires is worth 150 bucks.

They slashed my sidewalls.

Yeah, uh...

I don't think these tires were slashed.

I think they were just, uh...

- De-inflated.

- De-inflated?

Yeah, I'll write up a report on it.

Write a report?

- Yes, sir.

- Why don't y'all...

just put on some extra patrols out here.

Now look... l... I'll talk to my captain.

Did they mess with anything else?

There ain't nothin' else out here

to mess with.

You, uh, you check out these toilets yet?

Well, sure,

but they ain't near as comfortable...

as the ones we got in the trailer.

Yeah, l... I meant for vandalism.

You wanna go pokin' your head

in the potty, be my guest.

What are you doin' up there?

Listenin'.

Listenin' to what?

Just step away from the potty, please, sir.

Step away.

Aah!

Ohh! Oof!

Unh...

Oh, come on now,

it don't smell that bad.

Ehh..."Dear Dana...

"I promise not to hit you ever again as long

as you don't bother me on the school bus.

"I think that's a fair arrangement.

"Most sincerely, Roy A. Eberhardt."

So what'd you guys think?

Sincere enough?

Honey, if he's such a big bully,

isn't the note a little forceful?

The kid was choking me, Mom...

I'm not gonna write him a love letter.

Look, this is what happens

when you're the new kid.

Come on, Roy,

I'm the new kid at work.

You don't see me

getting into fist fights at the office.

No offense, Dad...

but you don't have to ride

the school bus to work.

Just...

Just let me know

when we're moving again.

# Florida, I know ya #

# I'll be hidin' from me... #

There were a total of six gators, sir.

The largest being four feet even...

the smallest being, uh... 24 inches.

Eh, probably just a bunch of kids

screwin' around.

Well, that was my original assumption...

but with all due respect,

Captain, I mean...

h-how many kids do you know

that could handle a four-foot alligator?

I think we're dealing

with, uh, you know...

with a maybe more

sophisticated syndicate...

you know, somebody that really has it in

for, uh, Mother Paula's...

you know, possibly a... a revenge type deal.

- Revenge?

- Yes.

Like, you know, a... a rival pancake house.

That's a great piece of police work,

Officer Delinko.

And then also l...

Hey, look, Sherlock...

there are no other pancake houses

in Coconut Cove.

I got the mayor calling me about...

"Coconut Cove's economy

needs Mother Paula's."

So, go rub those two little brain cells

of yours together...

then get out there and catch the punks...

that are messin'

with that construction site.

No need to worry, sir, I am on the case.

I'm all over it.

That's precisely what I'm worried about.

Nobody in the history

of Trace Middle School...

has ever hit a Matherson before.

- You're a legend already.

- Look...

Look, I'm glad I can

make my mark on history.

OK, look... Iook, I wrote him a note

and that should be the end of it.

A note?

That's adorable.

What'd you say?

"Sorry I smoked you...

"please don't break every bone in my body.

"Please leave me one good arm

so I can feed myself."

You're hysterical.

We've got a game to win.

Let's be a team for once.

What do you know about

that girl over there?

That's Beatrice the Bear.

Please don't tell me

you messed with her, too.

What is it with you, man?

I mean, seriously?

She jumped all over me for some reason,

I'm just tryin' to figure out why.

What's her story?

She's a major soccer jock with attitude.

First Dana Matherson,

now Beatrice the Bear...

You must have a serious death wish, bro.

Officer David Delinko,

case number 0-niner-0...

Codename... Flapjack.

The time is now...

Still no sound.

Still no visuals.

Just me and the night.

A Ione wolf...

stalking his prey.

Ho!

OK...

Whew.

OK, everything's under control.

Everything's OK.

So as to adapt my vision

to the nighttime visibility conditions...

uh, I will now close my eyes

for a few brief seconds.

One-Baker-six, what's your twenty?

I repeat, what's your twenty?

This is one-Baker-six, my twenty is,

uh, East Oriole and, uh...

Uhh... police officer!

Police officer!

Oh, yeah?

You could've fooled me.

Ain't you heard me knockin'?

What time is it?

About 8:
30.

You gonna want to see this.

This one about beats the band.

Oh, no...

Oh, no...

Oh! No!

Oh, yes, yes, yes!

No, my cruiser!

Your cruiser?

Forget about your car.

They yanked up

all my darn stakes again.

- Uhh...

- Hey!

Buddy...

My stakes!

I knew I couldn't spend the rest of the year

hiding from Beatrice the Bear...

so even if it meant getting decapitated

with my lunch tray, I had to take a stand.

What is your problem?

I think you're the one

with the problem.

- Uh?

- Ohh...

Beatrice, I have no idea why you're mad

about what happened on the bus...

because you're not the one

who got choked...

and you're not the one

who got punched in the nose.

So, if I did something to upset you,

then I'm sorry.

It wasn't on purpose.

So next time you have a problem,

just tell me...

and we can sit down

and talk about it...

like civilized human beings, OK?

Civilized?

Are we straight on this?

Good, then I'm glad we had this chance...

to get to know each other

just a little bit better.

He's kinda cute, don't you think?

- Ha ha.

- Ha.

In a way that's not cute at all.

Sure you don't want me to come with you?

Just keep the engine running.

Hi, is Dana home?

Who are you?

I go to school with him.

Dana!

Dana!

What?

Get over here.

I am not believing this.

Hi, I just came by to give you something.

It's... it's a letter.

Um, so, who are you again?

I'm Roy, the one your son

tried to strangle to death the other day.

The one who slugged him in the nose.

You gotta be kiddin' me.

This little twerp's the one who messed up

your beautiful face?

Yeah, Mommy.

Look, l... I came by

to apologize, ma'am.

It's all in the letter.

Let me see that.

Me and you will settle up

when I get back to school.

Uh, actually, this letter

is supposed to settle us.

Me and you are a long way from settled.

Now get lost, cowgirl.

Dana...

Give me that!

No, not... gimme!

I need to read what that says!

What if it's a death threat!

Come on!

God!

They're both rather odd, aren't they?

Yes, they are.

Maybe I should go and introduce myself.

You're not funny.

Start the car.

Will you please just give me...

- I want the letter.

- Stop it!

After getting whacked by that ball...

I wasn't really thrilled about going back

to the golf course.

But that was the last place

I'd seen the barefoot kid...

and I wanted to find out

what he was up to.

Hello?

Anybody here?

Aah!

This is not good.

I wouldn't move, if I were you.

I wasn't planning on it,

not with cottonmouths.

I want you to step backwards real slowly.

On three...

- One...

- I don't think so.

- Two...

- No way!

Three.

Three!

Uh!

Ahh!

Uh! Hey!

What are you doing? Uh!

Who are you and why are you here?

Name's Roy.

Look, I saw you run

by the school bus the other day.

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