Hoot Page #3

I didn't come out here to hassle you.

I just want to talk.

You're gonna have to get out of here

like right now.

Ahh!

- Now let's go.

- Ahh!

All right. All right.

Why do you have

poisonous snakes in a bag?

That's my business,

so just leave me alone.

Where are you taking me?

Keep walking and don't turn around

till you count to fifty.

You come 'round here again,

you're gonna wake up one mornin'...

with one of them big old cottonmouths

in your bed, all right?

Now start counting.

Ahh, one, two...

three, four...

five...

six...

seven...

Eight...

nine, ten...

ahh, forget it.

Fore!

Fore, kid!

Uh!

That hurt.

Hey, Mom.

Hmm?

Is it illegal for a kid my age

not to go to school?

Well, I don't know

if it's an actual law, but...

Oh, yes, it is.

Truancy's what it's called.

I bet I know what this is really about...

and I told you that that letter

was too assertive.

Oh, the letter was just fine.

Listen to this...

"A Coconut Cove police cruiser...

"was vandalized early Monday morning

while parked at a construction site...

"when an unknown prankster

spray-painted the car's windows black...

"while the officer slept inside.

"There have been three incidents

within in a week at this location...

"the future home of Mother Paula's

All-American Pancake House."

Oh, we're getting

a Mother Paula's here.

That'll be nice.

Hey, Dad, can I see the newspaper

for a second?

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

You'll notice that

your name wasn't mentioned.

That's because we refused

to release it to the media.

Thank you.

I'm really sorry about this, sir...

and... and l... l... I assure you that

it will not happen again.

- Oh, you bet it won't...

- No.

Because if it does,

your name will be in the paper...

under the headline

"Officer Terminated"!

Do you copy?

I copy, Captain.

Ah, so now,

wh... what about my cruiser?

Ahh, oh, I think I've got the perfect set...

of replacement wheels for you.

Ha ha ha.

That looks like a small key.

She's all yours.

Don't forget to plug her in.

Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha.

Ahh!

Sir, ha ha ha.

Sweet ride, Delinko.

Heh heh heh.

Ah, ha ha ha.

After reading in the paper

about the gators and all the other stuff...

I couldn't help but wonder

if the barefoot kid...

was involved with what was going on.

So I thought I'd check out the lot

for myself.

Hey, little guys.

What are you doin' here?

What do you and your punk friends

got planned for tonight?

What? Nothing.

That's right!

You better run!

Run, you little bugger!

Don't you ever come back!

Here's the stuff you wanted.

I also made my special

banana-mango loaf.

Special? Tuh!

I don't think I'd feed that to a gator.

Kidding.

You know I love your cooking.

You know, you... you can't stay

out here alone forever.

Was there anybody looking for me?

No, not yet.

But I can only cover for you for so long

before you're gonna get caught.

I know.

And I've been tryin' to stay out of sight...

but I've only got a few days left

to stop them.

Hello! Hello!

That's that kid that's been

following me around.

Don't worry.

I'll keep him out of your hair.

We are not done discussing this.

Right.

Hello!

Hello!

Look, I'm not here to hassle you.

My bike!

Looking for this?

That's my bike.

Yeah, it is.

Now hop on.

What?

The handle bars,

get on the handle bars, you dork.

We're going for a ride.

# From the beginning... #

Ow!

# I was wishing that

our first impressions #

# Wouldn't last #

# But then you came to me... #

Ow!

# With something that was nothing #

# And you kept coming back, boy... #

- What's in your backpack?

- What? Nothing.

Oh! Can I get off now?

Sure, when you tell me

what's in the box.

Nothing.

Come on, cowgirl.

Give it up.

- What's in the box?

- Shoes.

Yeah, sure.

I swear!

Why are carrying around

an old pair of sneakers?

That is weird, cowgirl, really weird.

They're not for me,

they're for this barefoot kid I met.

Maybe he doesn't want shoes.

Did you ever think about that?

Why do you care so much

about this kid anyway?

I don't know, OK?

He looked like he needed help.

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'll make sure that the barefoot kid

gets these sneakers.

Now get out of here.

So you do know him.

Well, who is he?

You won't leave it alone.

Can I trust you?

Of course.

He's my brother.

Well, my stepbrother.

Why doesn't he live with you?

My stepmom shipped him off

to some military school.

He lasted two days and then ran off.

He hitchhiked back all the way

from Mobile, Alabama.

Nobody else knows that he's here

and nobody's gonna tell them, right?

Not me.

About four years ago...

when my dad was still

playing pro basketball...

he went to this celebrity golf tournament...

where he met some cheerleader

named Lana.

At the wedding, she shows up with a son

that she didn't seem to like at all.

She didn't even like her own son?

I'm the only one

he even talks to anymore.

What's his name?

I call him Mullet Fingers.

Mullet Fingers?

Why?

I think you've heard enough for one day.

Besides, it's getting late.

Yeah...

Looks like I'm gonna be late for dinner.

Here's your excuse.

Look like you could use a lift.

Why don't you throw your bike

in the back and hop on in.

- Thank you, sir.

- You got it.

Yep, there you go.

Won't you go ahead

and buckle up for me.

One-Baker-six,

one-Baker-six, come in.

Sorry, I just got a little police business...

I got to tend to.

- Whoo-hoo!

Go for one-Baker-six.

Did you pick up

the captain's dry cleaning yet?

Yeah, this is, uh,

just kind of a temporary arrangement.

What's your name, son?

I'm Roy, Roy Eberhardt.

Can I ask you something, Roy?

Now you go to Trace, right?

You every hear any chatter

about stuff that's been happening...

at the new pancake house

that's going up?

No, but I saw the newspaper

about the police car getting painted.

Well, police officers

aren't superheroes, Roy...

and a stakeout can be a real test of focus

for any good lawman.

Even for a cop as good

as that cop was.

Ahh, you see how I'm looking

at you right now...

Like this?

You see these eyes?

Police work requires focus, Roy. Uh!

- Watch it!

- Uh, ahh!

And...

extreme tiger-like reflexes,

like the ones I just exhibited.

Whew.

You OK?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Don't they smell delicious?

You bet they do.

Pancakes don't just feed the stomach...

Take seven.

Don't they smell...

Of course, they do.

- I'm sorry.

- And action.

They feed the soul.

Ah-choo!

- Marker.

- No, you look great.

- You look great.

- OK.

OK, it's sliding.

And... freeze.

Not good.

I thought it was OK.

We'll have to re-shoot this whole thing

before we hit the road.

I don't want to go to Wherever, Florida.

These opening are getting old, Chuck.

Really? Getting paid

to dress up as Mother Paula...

and do almost nothing,

that's getting old?

I didn't say that.

You keep this up,

you'll be back...

dancing on a cruise ship

where I found you.

Well, good luck finding somebody else

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