Horrible Bosses Page #6

many times I've caught him doing

blow at work?

PAN FURTHER to reveal Nick sitting beside Dale.

NICK:

That sucks. You were the only one

of us who didn't totally hate his

job.

(THEN)

Did I tell you Harken tricked me

into having a drink at eight

o'clock this morning? The guy's

the devil.

(CONTINUED)

18.

26 CONTINUED:
26

DALE:

I thought he was giving you a

promotion.

NICK:

He is. And he's got to do it

before the General Meeting next

week.

DALE:

Well, at least your boss doesn't

sexually harass you.

KURT:

This again?

DALE:

I'm telling you, she's out of

control. It's a full-on hostile

work environment.

KURT:

She's a woman who wants to have

sex with you. How bad can it be?

DALE:

Today she sprayed my crotch with

water so she could see the outline

of my wiener.

KURT:

Why don't you just f*** her?

DALE:

I'm engaged!

KURT:

Oh yeah. Congratulations, by the

way.

DALE:

Thank you.

NICK:

There's gotta be other dental

hygienist jobs out there.

DALE:

I can't apply for another job,

remember?

KURT:

Oh, right. Because you'd have to

tell them you're a child molester.

(CONTINUED)

19.

26 CONTINUED:
(2) 26

NICK:

He's not a child molester. He

just took his dick out in a

playground.

DALE:

It was nighttime and I was peeing!

And it's bullshit that I got put

on the registered sex offender

list for that!

KURT:

It worked out. Julia probably

hired you because she's a sexual

deviant herself.

DALE:

Why would they put a playground

next to a bar anyway? That's

entrapment.

A SEMI-CUTE GIRL walks past.

KURT:

(WITH JOYLESS

RESIGNATION)

Well, I should go see if that girl

wants to bone.

Kurt groans as he pulls himself out of the booth.

NICK:

I thought you were all broken up

about your boss dying.

KURT:

This is how I grieve, okay?

Kurt heads off after the girl.

DALE:

Man. He must be grieving all the

time.

27 INT. COMMTRONIX INDUSTRIES CONFERENCE ROOM - NEXT DAY 27

Nick sits alongside five other CO-WORKERS at a conference

table. Harken's chair at the head is empty. Nick pours

himself some water from a glass pitcher on the table.

NICK:

He did say ten o'clock, right?

(CONTINUED)

20.

27 CONTINUED:
27

CO-WORKER

Yeah. Do you know what this is

about?

NICK:

It just said `staff meeting' on

the memo.

(WHISPERING)

Funny how he gets all over me if

I'm a minute late, but he makes us

wait fifteen.

HARKEN (O.S.)

You were two minutes late, Nick.

Nick jumps as Harken enters.

HARKEN:

And I didn't know I had to punch a

clock with you.

NICK:

You don't. Of course you don't.

I'm sorry --

HARKEN:

I'm going to attribute this to

your drinking problem.

NICK:

I don't have a --

HARKEN:

(with a smile to the

OTHERS)

Let's get started. Shall we?

Nick's eyes narrow. Suddenly, he grabs the heavy glass

pitcher from the table and SHATTERS IT AGAINST HARKEN'S

FACE. Shards of glass fly everywhere as Harken falls

from his chair onto the floor.

SMASH CUT TO:

28 SAME SCENE (REALITY) 28

Harken is fine. Nick is as we left him.

HARKEN:

Okay, have we figured out our best

sales distribution plan for the

new model year handsets?

(CONTINUED)

21.

28 CONTINUED:
28

Nick's CO-WORKERS bury their heads in their notes. Nick

tensely raises his hand.

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