Hostel: Part III

Here's your key.

Hello.

-My bad. They gave me the wrong key.

-Not your bad. We stay a little long.

We're now leaving soon.

Okay.

-What the f***, guy?

-lt's okay, Viktor.

He's here for the room.

Yeah.

You're on vacation.

Yeah.

I've actually never been here before.

It's-- It's a pretty cool town.

Where are you guys from?

-Ukraine.

-Cool.

Now that he kidnapped me

I don't know where we're gonna end up.

You're so dirty.

Enough. You're gonna wear me out.

Come.

Have a drink with us.

It's vodka, man. Don't be shy.

Come on, man.

Yeah. You know, it's--

Well, actually l've got some beer.

Do you guys drink beer?

It's still cold.

Beer, huh?

Yeah.

I like this guy.

He brings party with him, huh?

Come.

There you go.

-There we go.

-We do a cheers now.

Sure.

Okay. l go take shower, then we go.

Oh, sh*t.

F***. l'm sorry, man.

I didn't mean to--

No. For what?

Never mind. lt's human nature.

-l'm looking everything that moves.

-Right.

-Okay.

-She's hot, right?

-Yeah, she's pretty hot.

-Yeah.

Yeah.

We were in this club, crazy chicks.

You go there, you're gonna score.

-l have club card for you.

-Oh, no.

No, no, no. You're gonna go

in there, man. Connection.

Anka, l need that club's card.

-Oh, hold on. l lose it.

-Okay.

Baby, l need the club card.

Anka!

Sh*t. Something's f***ing wrong?

What the f***? Anka!

Hey, get in here!

We got a problem, man.

Anka.

Talk. Talk.

Hey, get in here, man. Come on!

I think she's having a heart attack

or something. Talk to me!

What the f*** you doing, man?

Get in here!

Anka, talk to me.

Come on, man.

We gotta get her to a doctor.

Help me, man. Call a f***ing doctor!

Hey! Come on, man!

What the f***? Help me!

Call the f***ing doctor!

What the f*** you standing there?

What the f*** you doing, man?

Get in here!

What--?

What is going on?

Anka.

Yeah, we're good to go.

Here.

Keep her dry. If she gets sick,

we'll have to discount her.

Come on.

Save that sh*t for the honeymoon,

please.

The best man.

You know, since I am the best man,

which clearly I am...

...you know,

why is it that she's marrying you?

You had your chance

freshman year.

-What ever happened?

-l don't know.

-You were a man-whore?

-Not in front of her.

Thanks for that.

Come on, let's go.

Again. More of this.

You get to kiss this jackhole

for the rest of your life.

This weekend, he's mine.

-Such a dick.

-Don't let him bang any strippers.

What?

There are no strippers

in Palm Springs.

Well, there's no decent strippers

in Palm Springs, all right.

Once l get him out on the course...

...the only thing he's gonna

be banging is five irons, Ames.

Okay.

-l'll call you from the hotel.

-Be safe.

All right.

-A little breakfast?

-No. I'm good. It's a little early.

-Even for you.

-This is nothing, man.

In a couple of hours,

you are gonna be doing blow...

...off some hot stripper's ass.

You said there were no good strippers

in Palm Springs.

There aren't.

We're not going to Palm Springs,

are we?

Holy sh*t.

What the f*** is this?

Anka.

Get up!

Anka!

Hey! Who the f*** are you guys?

What the f*** you doing?

What the f*** you want with us?

Anka!

Hey!

Come to me!

You motherfuckers, don't touch her!

Don't touch her!

Come to me!

Come to me, motherfuckers!

Who are you? Where--?

Where the f*** are you taking her?

I don't wanna die!

Anka! l'm gonna come for you!

Let go!

No!

Anka!

Anka, l'm gonna come for you!

All you motherfuckers

are gonna die!

No!

-What's up?

-How's the leg?

-lt's okay.

-Carter.

-How are you, Mike?

-l'm glad you made it.

Good to be here.

-How you doing? Thanks for coming.

-Wouldn't miss it.

We're not here for you.

We're here for this.

Bounce it.

Up and down, north to south.

How great is this?

Tits and ass at your table.

I could get

all the stripper action I want...

...look my wife in the face and

say I never went to the club. Genius.

-Sit down. Let's do some damage.

-Okay. Cool.

Look at that. Spade and neutered.

What's up?

Yeah. Dude, some come

for the free booze, l come not to lose.

Pay me, motherf***er.

Oh, yeah. Winner, winner,

chicken dinner, b*tches.

This whole place

is a lab experiment.

Look. Look at it.

There are no windows.

There are no clocks on the walls.

They pump oxygen in here

to keep you awake.

They give you free booze

to keep you drunk.

They parade women in front of you

on top of that.

It's all just to take your money.

Man, this place is evil incarnate.

Yeah, maybe so,

but not when you're winning.

Mikey, you're looking

a little light over there.

Oh, me? l'm golden.

It's you I'm worried about.

Oh, God. Don't start this sh*t.

Wait, what sh*t?

His "don't do it" speech.

I've heard every version of it.

You're gonna tell him not to get

married. You don't want him to.

-You're married, you know that, right?

-Yeah. I know.

And it's a living hell, Carter.

Seriously.

Marriage is nothing

but a three-ring circus.

Engagement ring, wedding ring,

suffering. You'll see.

Yeah,

but it's gonna be different for Scotty.

Really? lnteresting. How exactly?

Because he's not marrying a b*tch.

Oh, see, there it is.

He comes in with a:

I am getting married in one week,

and you and your lovely wife...

-...are gonna be there.

-My lovely fat wife. Yes, we will.

-Okay, time to go.

-What? What are you doing? l'm hot.

That's why they sent over the cooler.

Asians are bad luck.

-You make good firecrackers, though.

-That is just some racist bullshit.

I'm sorry, man.

He did not mean that.

-All right. So, what now?

-l have tickets to Cirque du Soleil.

Oh, so you're not only disabled,

you're also gay.

-Sometimes.

-But it's not gonna matter too much...

...because Scotty is getting

seriously eye f***ed...

...by the girls at the progressive slots.

See them?

Dude, they are hot.

And l bet you they hate their fathers.

-Yes.

-What are you doing?

-Don't start.

-l'm not doing anything.

-Justin, do your thing. Limp on over.

-Nothing wets a p*ssy...

-...like this hardware.

-Pity f*** is still a f***.

That's true.

Hey, guys.

-l'm Kendra.

-l'm Nikki.

Hi. l'm Scott.

This is Carter, Mike and Justin.

-Mike.

-So you girls wanna join the party?

Not much of a party.

-We're just kind of getting started.

-We have a Jacuzzi.

It's in our room,

if you guys wanted to head up there.

Smooth.

You guys have any better ideas?

We know a place,

but it's off the Strip.

Yeah, it's way off the Strip.

I don't know, it might be too much

for some nice boys from the suburbs.

It's a little freaky.

Do you like freaky?

We like freaky. We've always

been into that sort of thing.

What about you?

Do you like freaky?

Yeah.

Yeah, sure.

Hey, listen, on the radio here...

...l love this guy.

I have his records.

But do you think you could turn

it down a couple of notches...

...so we can hear ourselves?

Thank you.

Yeah.

Do you think that those girls are pros?

-What, hookers?

-No, tennis pros.

Who cares? l wanna poke them

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