Hostel Page #2

I like to have a connection

with something that died for me.

I appreciate it more.

Well, I'm vegetarian.

And I am a meat-eater.

It's human nature.

Well, I'm human,

and it's not in my nature.

Tell me, what is your nature?

Don't touch!

Don't f***ing touch me!

I'm sorry.

Excuse me.

F***ing freak.

Jesus.

Edward Saladhands

just groped Josh.

Dude, you finally hooked up.

That's awesome.

Yeah, that's f***ing hilarious.

Or we could visit some factories.

Should be cool.

In this area...

...we make plastic for Slovakia.

Is that so?

Look at this.

-Nice, eh?

-This is a f***ing hostel?

Holy sh*t.

You can have that, man.

I'm too scared.

Hey, hey. The party has arrived.

-You are saved from boredom.

-Let me guess.

You must be

the King of the Swing.

You made a reservation under

"King of the Swing?"

-Yeah, of course, my horse.

-I'm sorry.

-He doesn't get out of his cage much.

-I can see that.

Here are your keys.

You leave your passports

at the desk.

That was taken when I was like 1 3.

I was kind of husky.

Not anymore, though, you know?

Do you have any private rooms?

We're probably gonna need them.

The rooms are semiprivate,

so you will have roommates.

Roommates, huh? That's gay.

Sorry.

-Oh, my God.

-It's okay.

The room is yours.

We are going to the spa.

You should come.

Spa.

Jugs.

-Hey.

-Hello.

Oh, Jesus.

-Hi. Hey.

-Hi.

How you doing?

I'm so happy I shaved my balls.

What? I have the smoothest balls

in Iceland.

-You wanna see?

-No, no, no, you're not... I'm good.

Put your anteater away,

it's totally creepy.

-You're not from Iceland, no?

-No. F***, no. American.

Yeah, unlike him,

I had my foreskin removed at birth.

Hygiene and... Am I talking?

-I'm Josh.

-Natalya.

-And this is Svetlana.

-Hi.

Hi, I'm Paxton.

-And this is Oli.

-The King of the Swing.

Hello.

Face on the ass. Never gets old.

Jesus.

So where are you girls from?

I'm from Italy,

but my parents are Russian.

Prague.

Prague's cool. Kafka.

So, Natalya....

-Yeah?

-You're Russian, eh?

Oh, my God.

Look, there are too many girls.

-This is awesome.

-Yes.

I mean, I was a senior,

you know, she was a junior...

...and then I graduated,

and it was weird, you know.

I mean, I'm totally over it.

It's... You know, it's cool.

It's okay.

Look, Vala is here.

-Who?

-Vala, from front desk. Vala.

-All right, Oli.

-Hey, I told you, man.

I'm the King of the Swing.

Come, let's dance.

-Does the cigarette bother you?

-No, it's...

I put away.

It's fine, I....

I'm gonna go get some fresh air.

But I'll be back, okay?

Cigarette.

Cigarette.

Aren't you a little young?

-Dollar.

-What?

Dollar.

-Dollar.

-Here you go.

Here, children commit

the most crime.

They don't care.

They will attack anyone.

-You're okay?

-Yeah, yeah. Thank you.

Hey, let me buy you a drink.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

Hey, Josh.

F*ggot.

Go with your friends. It's okay.

I wanted to say sorry about earlier.

About the way I reacted.

We cool?

I would have done

the same thing at your age.

It's not easy...

...but from my experience...

...choosing to have a family

was the right choice for me.

Now I have my little girl...

...who means more to me

than anything in the world.

But you should do...

...whatever's right for you.

Excuse me, it's my turn now.

Should we be doing this

with them there?

Yeah, it's okay.

-Yeah, baby. Josh, give it to me, baby.

-Okay, all right. Okay, stop!

-All right.

-Come on, big boy.

-We go to spa.

-Spa.

Spa, spa, spa.

Being dirty while getting clean.

Bye.

Mission accomplished.

You know that Amsterdam kid

with the thing on his lip?

I'm gonna send him

a really nice thank-you note.

Be quiet.

They're showering together.

Sh*t, man. We're never leaving here.

I guess Oli's not back yet.

No, dude, he probably

took that desk girl home.

We'll see him at breakfast.

-What's the name?

-Oli Ericson, 23 7.

How are we supposed to

F***ing gay.

Yeah, he checked out this morning.

You mean he took his

passport to go out?

No, it say he checked out

this morning.

-When this morning?

-I don't know exact time.

I could find out tomorrow.

Hey, Oli, it's Pax.

Are you still with that chick?

Can I leave a note

in case he comes back?

Okay, cool. Yeah.

All right.

He's probably still with Vala.

When she call me, I call you, okay?

Okay.

-We see you later, right?

-Yeah.

Okay.

-Bye-bye.

-Bye.

Oli, hey, it's me again.

We're gonna go into town, so call us.

You're gay.

Damn voice mail again.

-Hi! Hi! Hi!

-Hi.

Your friend.

-What the hell?

-Your friend, my friend.

What does that say?

Sayonara. Your friend.

What, they left? Like, together?

That doesn't make any sense.

Oli doesn't even like Asian girls.

I mean, no offense, but...

When did she send this to you?

This picture. Today?

Could you do me a favor

and send this picture to my phone?

This picture.

That water looks f***ing cold.

You know, if you fell in,

you'd die in 90 seconds.

Dude, did I tell you I saw

a girl drown when I was 8?

-Where?

-Lake Michigan.

It was f***ed up, man.

This little girl, probably 4 or 5.

We made eye contact,

which was a weird thing, you know...

...and she was yelling for me

to help her.

Yeah? What did you do?

I ran to the lifeguard, who was busy

talking to her boyfriend at the time...

...and I yelled, you know,

"There's this girl drowning. "

And she couldn't see her.

Probably thought I was making it up.

And then a second later all you could

hear was this horrible screaming.

It was that little girl's mother, dude.

Her kid was dead.

-Jesus.

-I had nightmares for years after that.

I mean, I'd wake up every f***ing

night hearing that mother scream.

I just....

I just felt like I could have

done more.

You did the right thing.

Could've been a double drowning.

Yeah, well, I didn't see it

that way at the time.

All I knew was this little girl was dead

and her mother's life was ruined.

What makes you think of this now?

Bubble gum.

-Sorry, kid.

-No, no. Give him some.

What are you doing?

These f***ing kids are dangerous.

Hey, Oli.

-Hey, Oli.

-Hey.

-Hey.

-Hey.

-Hey, Oli. Hey!

-Oli!

It's your lucky day, Josh.

A museum.

How's it hanging?

-What the f***?

-Holy sh*t.

-He got you.

-Yeah, that's hilarious.

Okay.

Hey, Oli.

Hey, Oli.

Hey, hey.

Excuse me?

I'm sorry, I thought you

were someone else.

Well, I'm not.

Where did you get that jacket?

-Hey, I'm talking to you, man.

-Get your f***ing hands off me.

This is my jacket.

It's from Oli.

"I go home"?

I don't know,

maybe his battery died.

Hey, Kana, when are you leaving?

I'm sorry. When are you going away?

Tomorrow, I go.

Okay, because we may go too.

Do you wanna go to the train with us?

To the train station?

Tomorrow, train?

Yeah, yeah.

-Hello, Josh.

-Hey.

-Hey.

-Come, we go for disco?

Actually, I just wanna find my friend

and get the f*** out of here.

Okay, we'll see you.

Hey, guys, hold up a sec.

We'll be right out.

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