Hot Lead and Cold Feet Page #2

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You just take your time.

Wild Billy's talkin'

peculiar, ain't he?

Probably liquored up

from grievin'.

Should we make a run for it?

I don't know.

He probably got 'em hid

under that coat.

Right, driver.

We're all in now.

Yes, sir.

Hooo!

[Whistles] Ho!

Let's go!

Yah! Yah!

Come on, now!

People sure seem polite

around here.

They even call you

by your first name.

Even if it's the wrong one.

I've noticed.

"Billy. "

I wonder why.

Hah hah! Come on, there!

[Whistles]

Hah! Get along, there!

Hah!

Go on, now!

Get along! Hah!

[Whistles]

Hey, get outta there!

Ho! Ho!

Ho, there!

Ho!

Ho, there!

Hey, you, there!

Get that thing

outta the way!

Sure.

But first we got

a little business.

Boys!

We ain't carryin' gold.

No, but you got

a passenger we want.

- You want him?

- Good luck.

Yeah.

I had a feelin'

we might need this.

You! Inside!

Come on out!

We got a surprise for ya!

What's he doin' out here?!

Heh. You kinda

took us by surprise.

Another one of your jokes,

Billy? Ha ha ha!

[Forced laughter]

Guess this one's on us.

We come all the way out here

and find out it's you.

I don't know who you are

or who you think I am.

But I do know

you shouldn't point that.

It's liable to go off

and hurt somebody.

MARCUS:
Get down!

- Run for it!

- Out of my way!

Move it!

Run!

Let's go in the hills!

Why, he's crazy!

Let's get outta here!

Wow!

That was awful!

Did I tell ya?

Our first day in the West,

and we've already been held up.

We better take

this thing with us.

We don't want it to fall

into the wrong hands.

I'm so tired,

I can hardly walk.

Don't worry. When we go through

the Badlands, you'll be running.

We don't run, we walk.

Head high, Brother Marcus.

By holding good thoughts and

relying on the power within us,

our burden shall be lifted.

Do you remember that prophet

of old, Elijah?

A man of righteousness

and goodness.

He was sent

to his final victory,

his eternal destination,

in a fiery chariot.

WOMAN:

Whoa! Whoa there!

Whoa! Whoa, boy!

Whoa! Whoa, there!

Look out!

Are you all right?

Yes. These critters seem

to have a mind of their own.

What are you doing

in the middle of the road?

We were just walking along.

Are you gonna stand there

babbling or help me?

We'll help.

Give the lady a hand.

The fiery chariot.

I imagine

you could use a lift.

Thank you.

Where are you going?

As far as Bloodshy.

So are we.

First the fiery chariot,

and now she's taking us

to Bloodshy.

See? You don't have to run

if you listen to Brother Eli.

There.

Thank you.

Hey, I'm Jenny Willingham.

Are you a dance-hall girl?

Marcus.

No, I'm a schoolteacher.

How do you do?

I'm Eli Bloodshy.

We're missionaries.

That's Roxanne,

and this is Marcus.

- Bloodshy, huh?

- It was my father's town.

He passed away, but I'm going

to collect my inheritance.

Now, am I just gonna

stand here or get that lift?

"Put me down," I said!

Put me down!

Oh, Mansbridge.

Field, sir.

Oh, yeah.

What can I do for you,

Fieldbridge?

It's Mansfield, sir.

Oh, yeah.

Well, them English names

are all Greek to me.

[Clang]

You wanna watch it there?

I'll turn your overnight stay

into a life sentence.

You gotta keep your eye on 'em

so they don't fly the coop.

We had a little fire in here

thanks to Mr. Wild Billy.

One of these days, I'm gonna

put the cuffs on him for good.

If you don't mind, sir,

I'm looking

for Mayor Ragsdale.

Mr. Bloodshy's will.

Well, if it has to do with law,

you came to the right place.

It's to be administered

by the mayor.

Leave it to me, Mainstream.

[Clears throat]

Now, you remember

you're on your honor!

"I, Jasper Bloodshy,

last will and testament,

my entire inheritance... "

It's a contest.

It is?

No, it isn't.

It isn't?

Not when the other contestant

can't make it.

Why can't he make it?

Because the poor sucker's

on his way...

Sheriff, don't you have

anything better to do?

No, not now.

Go out and find Wild Billy.

Wild Billy?

Tell him it's official.

He's rich.

Wild Billy?

It's good news, Sheriff.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Good news.

Then maybe he won't

want a shoot-out.

I'll tell him.

Very rich.

ELI:

Isn't it beautiful, children?

All you can see for miles.

[Caws]

MARCUS:
Look at that.

ELI:
Bloodshy.

It's my name etched in wood.

So, where will you

be staying?

How about the saloon?

Children can't stay

at a saloon.

Why not? We're used to

places like that.

And there's a lot

of souls to save there.

I've made arrangements

at a boardinghouse.

I'm sure

they'll have room for you.

- Thank you very much.

- A boardinghouse?

That's not where all

the shooting and fighting is.

99.9% of all towns in the West

are peaceful little villages

where nothing ever happens.

Get all that other stuff

out of your head, hmm?

[Gunfire, explosions]

[Neighing]

Wow!

Hah!

Whoa!

I think we're here.

I don't believe it.

Ohh!

[Coughing]

Oh, uh, sorry.

Mr. Bloodshy,

are you all right?

I think so, yes.

Step aside!

Oh!

Ooh!

[Whistles]

Why, you...

Sorry.

[Coughing]

Stop, thief!

Get that varmint!

- Where is he?!

- I didn't see him.

There he goes.

Get down!

Get down!

You sidewinder!

Gentlemen! Gentlemen!

Just a minute!

Just a minute!

Do you mind?

Thank you.

This is no way

to solve a problem.

If a man is guilty

of a crime,

he should be judged

in a court of law,

not by mob rule and violence.

[All muttering in agreement]

- Yeah, sure.

- Whatever you say.

Just because

these men are mean,

it doesn't mean

they won't listen to reason.

Now, can you tell me

where the sheriff is?

I've got something for him.

There he goes again!

He's gone crazy!

Outta my way!

Maybe we'll find him

in the saloon.

No, not we.

Me.

You're off to the boardinghouse

with Miss Willingham.

- Aw, Eli.

- Jenny.

Besides,

you two could use a nap.

Good idea.

Eli, we're too old

to take a nap!

Give us a break!

[Piano music plays]

Yo!

Get up here!

Whoo-hoo!

Yeah, me and Wild Billy

are just like that.

Leastways, we're gonna be.

I got some news

that's gonna keep him in booze,

babes, and...

Sheriff?

- Billy, don't shoot!

- Pardon?

I got good news!

We got the will.

I seen it myself

in black and white.

I cross my heart

and hope to die.

Oh, Billy, no.

Let's just check

that cannon, okay?

Thank you very much.

One of man's

most destructive weapons.

What are you doin'

in that crazy suit?

That's all right.

You can wear what you want.

You can do what you want.

You own the town,

the land, the money,

the land as far

as the eye can see.

You're rich, Billy!

Rich!

It's almost too good

to be true.

I thought that'd soften you up.

Don't forget,

I'm the one who told you.

[Man talking indistinctly]

Sheriff,

I think I know those men.

Well, I think it's time

for a round of drinks.

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

What'll you have?

A cup of tea, please.

[Laughter]

- I've sent for the tea.

- Thank you very much.

- BILLY:
Yeeeee-ha!

- [Gunshots]

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