Hot Lead and Cold Feet Page #7

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that some unforeseen,

dire tragedy

has befallen those two

fine young men, huh?

[Crowd murmuring]

Let's take him, too.

No, no, come on.

However!

However, there is a, uh,

provision in the will

which states

that if there is no winner,

then the entire fortune

goes to...

Rider comin'!

A rider comin'.

Rider comin'?

Who is it?

Can you see?

I don't believe it!

Are you sure

that's the preacher?

[Laughs excitedly]

It's Eli!

He's won!

[Cheering]

Whoa!

You're safe!

How's Billy?

Eli, we knew

you could do it!

Where's Ragsdale?!

ROXANNE:

There he goes!

MARCUS:
With as much money

as he can get away with.

Hold it, Ragsdale!

Hyah, hyah!

Go on! Get out of here!

Move it! Hyah!

Get out of here!

Hey, Eli, you're shootin'

just like Wild Billy.

Come back here,

you concern, yellow-bellied,

lily-livered,

two-timin' polecat!

Yah!

Eli isn't Eli.

Eli's Wild Billy.

Another rider comin'!

- Which one's this?

- Is it Eli or Billy?

Now, there's Eli.

I think.

Brother,

I'd like a word with you.

I said, "Brother,

I'd like a word with you. "

Later!

Swing me up!

Aah!

[Laughter]

I'm ready, Rattlesnake.

Let's make it clean and fast.

All right.

We'll count to three.

I'm gonna get you, Ragsdale!

Marcus, what are you doing?

Oh, no!

Hey, what is this?

Get that off!

I don't see any way

you can trick me this time.

[Chuckling]

Get off me!

What is this thing? Get away!

Get off!

Get off!

- Aah!

- Ooh!

Aah! Aah!

Hold on!

Come on, get him!

Get him, Eli!

He's a crook!

He's got all the money!

Look out!

Tarnation!

Marcus, are you all right?

That was great!

What?

Here he comes, Mansfield!

The dirty fly

into the spider's web.

Stand back, Mansfield,

and see how the West was won.

Ehhh! Ooh!

MANSFIELD:
Oh, sir!

Great jumpin' Jasper's ghost!

Aaah!

Ohh!

Aah! It's a ghost!

It's a ghost!

I can't be seein' this.

I know I'm not seein' this.

- But get off me!

- Nothing doin', Ragsdale!

I'm takin' you with me!

I take everything back!

I'll give you the money back!

Too late, you whinin' weasel!

I'll see you in jail

if it's the last thing

I ever do-o-o!

It was the old man,

I tell you! I saw him!

I tell you, it was

the strangest thing I ever saw.

He came floatin' down

in a white sheet.

The bats have taken over

the belfry.

You gotta believe me!

Hey, Sheriff!

Listen, you start that story

one more time,

there'll be two ghosts,

and you'll be one!

I'll be late

for that ceremony.

Deputy, keep an eye

on the prisoners.

Right, chief.

Deputy?

You gotta believe me, man!

[Cheers and applause]

And so my brother and I

have decided

to share the money

and use it to make a new town.

A town

a whole lot different

than the one

you've been used to.

And if anybody has

any other ideas,

they're gonna have to

answer to m...

[Clears throat]

My brother, Eli.

[Laughter]

It's going to be a town

I hope you'll all be proud of.

I know I'm going to be proud

of the new church

and the new school

we're building.

A new school for our children,

yours and mine.

He means us.

We've got a father.

And I'll tell you

something else.

Not only will these children

have the best teacher,

they'll have the prettiest one

they've ever seen.

[Laughter and applause]

Of course, I may be

a little prejudiced.

I think we're gettin'

a mother, too.

[Cheering]

You know,

I can't rightly recollect

ever seein'

the whole town together

with folks a-smilin' at each

other instead of shootin'.

[Crowd murmuring

in agreement]

I think this is a fitting moment

now to pay tribute

to the one man

who made all this possible.

Our father, Jasper Bloodshy.

It's too bad

he couldn't have lived

to see his last wish come true.

Amen, brother.

But if you'll all join in

with me now

singing "Something Good

is Bound to Happen,"

I guarantee

no matter where he is,

he'll be happy

at this very moment.

[Men clearing their throats]

["Something Good

is Bound to Happen" plays]

% % Something good

is bound to happen% %

% % When love

is in your heart% %

% % For love and human kindness% %

% % Is where good things

always start% %

% % Theres goodness

in your neighbors% %

% % Theres goodness

close at hand% %

Shh!

Don't shush me,

you British buzzard!

Can't a man sing

when he's happy?

Well, sir,

then you might reconsider

and make an appearance.

And send the whole town off

to the loony bin, like Ragsdale?

No, I finished what

I set out to do, Mansfield.

It's time to move on.

Where to, sir?

Yeah, to a place I ain't seen

for years, Mansfield.

Cactus Ridge.

Cactus Ridge?

Why Cactus Ridge, sir?

Now I've straightened out

my sons, Wild Billy and Eli,

I gotta go see

how my daughters,

Calico Kate and Wildcat Winnie,

are doin'.

Let's go, Mansfield!

Very good, sir.

Gee-up!

Gee-up, there!

Mornin', Sheriff.

Morning, Mr. Bloodshy.

% % Something good

is bound to happen% %

% % When love

is in your heart% %

% % For love and human kindness% %

% % Is where good things

always start% %

% % Theres goodness

in your neighbors% %

% % Theres goodness

close at hand% %

% % Oh, look

for all the goodness% %

% % Over all this blessed land% %

% % Blessed land% %

% % Over all this blessed land% %

% % Blessed land% %

% % Over all this blessed land% %

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