Hot Lead and Cold Feet Page #6

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the dynamite, there.

Got it.

Okay.

This is gonna be a cinch.

All right, now let's go.

Come on.

[Gun c*cks]

Sir!

Let go, Mansfield!

They're gonna get my sons!

Over my dead body.

But, sir, there must be

another way of handling this.

Would you take

your hands off... ow!

- [Gunshot]

- [Neighing]

Where have you two been?

They're gonna get

Brother Eli!

Hyah!

- Whoa! Whoa! What?

- Wild Billy, too!

With dynamite

at Deadman's Pass.

Wait a minute.

We don't have time

for you not to believe us.

I'm going with you.

Hyah!

Good goin', Billy.

You made it.

Well, what did you expect?

I always figured

you'd be first...

- [Eli singing in distance]

- Hold it!

Can you hear

somebody singin'?

Yeah. Real pretty.

It's that blasted bulldog.

% % Where seldom is heard% %

% % A discouraging word% %

3!

% % Are not... something... % %

3!

[Grunts]

% % Whe-e-re the deer... % %

% % And the thing-a-me-bobs

play% %

[Grunting]

% % Seldo-o-m is heard... % %

- Come on, we'll get him.

- % % A discouraging word% %

% % And the skies

are not cloudy... % %

[Grunts]

Yodel-ay-eeee-deeeee!

Come on, here he comes!

[Humming off-key]

Now!

[Grunts]

Oh!

Wonder where they came from.

The biggest hailstones

I've ever seen.

Boy, he's slipperier

than a dad-gum snake.

[Groans]

Mm. Mm.

Ahh.

This has got to do it.

- I'll tell you when.

- Right.

[Coughs]

Okay!

[Grunting]

Ahh.

Ohhh.

The world trembles

at your beauty.

Don't tell me

we missed him again.

We'll get him.

At the gorge.

That's the way!

Keep it up!

You're doing terrific!

Congratulations, Billy.

Why, with the lead

you've got,

you could let them horses

ride you and still win.

That stall-fed tenderfoot

got no business

being in the race.

But he hasn't come by yet.

So you don't have

anything to worry about.

Wha...

Hello, Billy!

Now, how does that him-hummer

keep a-doin' it?

The team's just up the hill!

That's the skinniest-looking

bridge I've ever seen.

Ooh!

Yee-haw!

Eli, what are you doin'?

Not that-a way!

Hand over hand!

You mean...

Yeah!

Hand over hand!

[Gasps]

[Wind gusting]

No!

You don't understand!

You don't have to walk

on 'em!

Oh!

Come on!

You can make it!

No, he can't!

Aaah!

Hey, preacher!

How do you like the view?

[Laughing]

This is no time

to be lyin' down on the job!

[Laughing]

Help!

Yeah, boys, help him out!

[Laughs]

What do you think

you're doing?!

After you.

Aaah! Aah!

[Laughter]

Go on, get that other surprise

ready up at Deadman's Pass.

This hombre's a goner.

- Okay, boss.

- You bet.

[Panting]

Whoa!

% % Rock of ages% %

% % Cleft for me% %

Come on,

we've got work to do.

You ain't never

gonna make it, preacher!

Ah!

[Panting]

Take a long look down

and say your last prayer,

preacher!

[Laughs]

Amen and adios!

Oh!

There's nothin' like

a well-aimed rock, Mansfield.

Unh!

Oh! Ah!

Eli!

If only

I could help you, son.

Eeh! Ooh!

Mansfield,

have you gone plum loco?

Aaah! Ohh!

MARCUS:
Get him, Roxanne!

Hit him! Hit him!

Ohh! Oh!

Good!

We did it.

Yeah!

He went over easier

than I thought.

He sure did.

Look!

Oh, no!

Hang on, Eli!

Aaaaaah!

- Eli!

- Eli!

Hurry! Hurry!

Oh, thank heaven.

[Panting]

Hang on, Eli!

Yeah, hang on!

We'll save you!

[Branch cracks]

Aaah!

Help me up.

Quick, Jenny, the rope!

- [Branch cracks]

- Aaah!

Aah!

Here, Eli!

All right, hit him.

- Hyah!

- Go on! Go!

Hyah!

Aah, aah, aah, aah!

Aah! Aah!

Oh!

ROXANNE:
Let go, Eli!

Eli, let go!

Aaah!

Is he all right?

Wow, that mountain water

sure makes you do funny things.

Ragsdale's in it

with the Sneads!

They're out to get Billy,

too.

If both of you don't make it,

Ragsdale gets everything.

You gotta win!

The only thing I've got to do

is save my brother.

This map shows the dynamite and

where the Sneads are gonna be.

You'll lose the race

to save someone who hates you.

Well, isn't that

what we're supposed to do?

Help anybody

who needs saving, hmm?

Yeah.

I guess so.

Come on.

Come on!

[Sighs]

Come on!

Hey, you two, wait for us!

Tallyho.

Gee-up.

Give me those!

[Whistles] Hyah!

Aah! Oh!

MARCUS:
Look out!

Everybody, in the back!

Quickly!

[Bird calling]

Hey, is everybody all right?

MARCUS:
Yeah, Jenny.

[Spitting]

Eli, look at that.

Yeah, what is it?

ROXANNE:

It's those Sneads.

Yeah.

[Horse snorts]

You see anything?

No, no sign of him yet.

The lookout has the rifle.

Eli can handle him.

I hope so. We've got to get him

away from that plunger.

If he falls on it, the

whole mountainside will go.

- I got an idea.

- Oh, really?

You get behind that rock.

Right.

Stay here.

I'll be right back.

Now cover it up.

All right.

Unh!

Why, you little dad-gum

cotton-pickin'...

Now!

Aah!

Billy!

Get back!

Get back!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Let go of my hair!

Get off of me,

you little pony!

Just keep him buttoned up.

Billy!

[Birds calling]

- Pete, get on that plunger.

- Yeah, boss.

Did he hear him?

I don't know.

I'm not sure.

[Muffled grunting]

Ain't a bad swap, huh?

Two brothers for a fortune.

[Grunting continues]

Git!

Hey, he's a-movin'!

When he gets to the mine,

they both get it.

[Muffled] No! No!

Shall I help you

steady the rifle, sir?

Only when I decide

to aim it at you, Mansfield.

[Gun c*cks]

PETE:
He's getting

pretty close, boss.

BOSS SNEAD:

All right, get ready.

Should I blow it now?

No.

Not yet.

Ready?

- Unh!

- Aah!

Billy! Dynamite!

Get him!

Get down!

Oh!

Where is he?!

- Oh!

- Oh!

[Roxanne and Marcus cheering]

JENNY:

Oh, yes! Oh! Oh!

I got him, Eli!

I got him!

You?

It was Jenny.

I don't think it was me.

I think it was the...

Oh, no!

Uh, I don't know

what that was, folks.

It could have been thunder.

But one thing I do know.

A winner could be coming in

any minute now.

Oh, Eli.

I've got to find out.

Billy!

Billy!

Are you just gonna stand there

caterwaulin' all day?

Thank heaven you're safe.

I might have knowed it.

Never trust a Bible-banger.

[Sniffs]

You went and ruined everything.

What?

The will says,

"May the best man win. "

Now I ain't so sure

I am the best man.

You saved my life!

Now, how am I gonna whip a man

who saves my life?

Billy, Ragsdale set us

both up to be killed,

and he's going to get

all the money if nobody wins.

Ragsdale?

That snivelin' sneak!

Then one of us has gotta win.

[Cheers and applause]

Thank you, Sheriff.

Thank you, thank you, boys.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen,

all my loyal constituents.

Now, then,

as executor of the estate

of the late, great,

beloved Jasper Bloodshy...

[Crowd muttering]

I was fully prepared

to turn over his entire,

every last cent

of that fortune

to whichever brother wins,

whichever one comes in.

[Crowd cheering]

But, uh...

Well, it seems to me

that if there is to be a winner,

he should have been here

a long time ago, hmm?

Matter of fact,

it has occurred to me,

as I am sure it has occurred

to each and every one of you,

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