Hot Shots! Part Deux Page #5

That's it. Good night.

[Projectile Whistles]

- Aah!

- Ohh!

War.

It's fantastic.

[Cannon Fires]

[Panting]

[Panting]

You looking over there!

O.K. We going this way!

I'm going over there!

You going with me.

I'm going with this...

[Grrr]

[Grrr]

Oh...

drop the gun.

Drop it!

You will die,

yankee bastard-man...

how you say...

like a dog.

[Grrr Arf]

Now March!

March!

[Woof]

Now I kill you

where you stand

yankee doodle dork pig.

Ah, ah, ah, ah.

[Metallic Vibration]

Mm-hmm!

[Arf Arf]

Aah!

Slippery rascal.

Aah!

[Ring]

[Ring]

Butcher of Baghdad.

Hello.

Hello, Saddam.

Uh-huh.

[Fast Chatter]

Oh, hello.

Who is it?

It's your wife...

Hillary Rodham Hussein.

Jesus, Mary, Joseph!

I'm so stupid!

I was supposed to pick her up

at the laundromat!

Tell her I'm at...

No, no... out of town on business.

A bombing. Gassing.

A last-minute execution.

Tell her something.

Make it up.

I'm sorry.

You just missed him.

Ah! I owe you one.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Ali McGraw!

My eyes!

Infidel! I'm going to split you

like a melon!

Aah!

Now I will kill you

until you die from it.

In a pig's ear!

Mr. President!

Thufferin' thuccotash!

Looks like the upper hand

is on the other foot, Saddam.

Ah...

ha!

Uh-oh!

Yesss!

My skin's made of asbestos.

Tanning parlor action

at Dien Bien Phu.

Go about your business, son.

I've got a bone

to settle with this guy.

Yes, sir.

I'll get Dexter.

Let's make this a fair fight.

I've been waiting

for you, O Big One.

We meet at last.

The circle is complete.

Now I am the master!

Only the master of evil,

Saddam.

Aah!

Your powers are...

[Cough Cough]

Your powers are weak,

old man.

You shouldn't have come.

Yeah, well, I have.

We'll settle this

the old navy way...

First guy to die loses!

Hah!

Hyah!

Ohhh...

water...

water.

Water, please.

[Burble Burble]

It's locked from the inside.

- No!

- Damn it!

We'll all die!

Control yourself!

Blow it!

It's not our property.

Do it!

[Burbling]

Oh, Mr. Gepetto...

go ahead. Shoot. You'll

get nothing from me.

You are filth.

I spit in the face of filth.

Dexter, I've come

to get you out of here.

You're American.

Yes. I'm from America.

Let's go.

My friend, I yearn for freedom

as much as anyone...

but I run from no man.

You've got to come with me.

I can't walk away.

They've tied my shoelaces

together.

A knot.

Bastards.

I'm aborting the mission.

Envelope is closed.

We're lifting off.

Here you go. It's 4.50.

I didn't think you'd make it.

Everybody on board.

We're leaving.

What about the others?

We just can't leave them.

Ah...

ow!

Aah!

Wait. I...

I can't go any further.

I need a drink.

O.K., right a bit.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop.

Stop there. Down a bit.

There.

That's not very cold.

Is this filtered?

Their artillery will be

down on us in seconds.

We have to lift off.

Then we'll lose

Topper and Dexter.

But that's been the idea

all along, hasn't it, Michelle?

You're looking beautiful

as ever, Ramada.

How did you know?

I didn't. It all came together

when I saw you here.

I thought back to your inscription

in my yearbook.

You wrote, "Remember all

the fun we had in speech class.

I'll f*** up your life

if it's the last thing I do."

Then I realized

where I had last seen this.

Ohh!

What could I have done

to make you so vindictive?

Looks like you gals

know each other.

Oh, Ramada, how could you

have been so blind?

You were always

too wrapped up

being "Miss Perfect College"

to notice me.

Why concern yourself

with the feelings of

one insignificant roommate?

One fabulous day...

one incredible experience.

I had no idea

it meant so much to you.

I remember that day

as though it were yesterday.

The exhilaration

of experimenting...

Sharing something so new...

so dangerous...

so intimate.

Go on.

And I'll never forget

the look on your face

the way the sweat

glistened on your hard body.

Then you tied my ankles

tighter...

tighter...

but it just wasn't right.

It wasn't natural.

Bungee jumping is just

too dangerous a sport.

Bungee jumping?

That's it?

Michelle, how could you

hurt so many innocent people?

Oh, Ramada, it was

always so easy for you.

How could you

ever understand?

I had Dexter imprisoned

because I wanted you to suffer

as much as

you made me suffer.

You fool.

When I discovered

I couldn't win Topper's heart

because he still loved you

I tried to have you all killed.

He... he still loves me.

You turned your back

on America

because of your own

petty jealousy.

You're gonna pay for this.

[Splash]

Ha ha. Good doggie.

Ah... choo!

Ah-choo!

Ah... ch...

Ooh.

Ah!

Aluminum siding.

10-year guarantee.

I'll never have to be painted.

Ah!

[Dog Snarls]

Hmm.

Do you have any idea

where you're going?

[Gunfire]

Ha. You missed.

It'll take more than that

to stop me, you devils.

Don't jiggle me.

Advil, Midol, get over here.

To the helicopter.

They dicked with

the wrong dictator!

This means war.

You'd better let me

handle this, son.

Ew. You're so sweaty.

[Walters]

I knew you'd make it.

It's about time.

Michelle.

She's our saboteur.

Topper, can you

get me off the hook?

I'm sorry, precious.

No can do.

You sold out the greatest

country in the world.

And to think...

I wore your mole.

Get her out of here.

Dexter?

Ramada.

Oh, dear Dexter.

Look what they've done

to your shoelaces.

Oh, my darling.

You've no idea what

I've just been through.

But now we're together again

we have so much

to look forward to.

I want to do it all...

Donahue, Geraldo...

Sally. Jesse.

Oh, and who's that

black chick? Uh...

Oprah.

Yes. Yes. Her, too.

Let's go.

It's getting hot here.

I'm going back

for the president.

Topper...

I'm staying with you.

No, you're not.

You're getting on

that copter with Dexter.

I thought you loved me.

Ramada, I do love you.

I've tried to forget you

but your face is always

on the tip of my tongue.

Then let me stay.

I want to be with you.

I want to meet your parents

and pet your dog.

My parents are dead.

My dog ate them.

I'm sorry.

We both know

you belong with Dexter.

You're part of his work...

The thing that keeps him going.

I'm no good at being noble

but do you know what

would happen if you stayed?

Of course I do.

Sex. Wild, free,

passionate, unbridled sex.

[Gulp]

I'd fondle you in ways

you can't imagine.

I would pleasure you anytime,

anyplace, in any way

for as long as you

could possibly desire.

[Engine Starts]

You better get going.

You'll miss your takeoff.

Goodbye, Topper.

God bless you.

Wait a second.

Let me get a shot

of you two.

It'll be a great visual

for the talk shows.

Closer together.

Come on. Don't be shy.

Put your arm around her.

I've almost got it.

This is a great shot.

My God, you're going

to love this.

You know, under

other circumstances,

you'd make a great couple.

Oh, well.

Say chees...

You're moving too much.

Quit spinning.

This'll make me rich and f...

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