House Arrest Page #3

on your parents.

You can use my video equipment

hooked to the cable

on the basement TV.

No.

Well, hey, man, you gotta

disconnect your doorbell.

Otherwise your parents'll know

when somebody rings.

- You can use my Christmas lights...

- No.

Wait a second.

I don't get it. Why are you helping me?

It's like I told you.

I think what you're doing is a good idea.

No. But you hate me, remember?

You've always hated me.

That's before I respected you.

Okay, buddy?

Later.

- Man, I still think I had a good idea.

- Yeah, well, I got a better one.

Hello, Dad. Hi, Mrs. Burtis.

Changing your will again?

I think I better be going.

- Bye, Mrs. Burtis.

- Bye. Nice to meet you.

- Say hi to your husband for me.

- I will.

What class did you say

this was for, T. J?

Sociology, Mom.

It's a trust experiment.

Sociology? This is kind of fun.

You know, they used to take us

on wheelchairs, and...

Hang on, Dad.

Experiment complete.

Except one thing.

We don't take Sociology.

You guys should pay more attention.

Wait a second. What are you doing?

They can't go down there.

Yes, they can. I paid for the door.

Now, open it.

I can't hold them much longer.

Hurry! Hurry!

- Open the door!

- I'll get it!

Come on! Hurry up!

This way, everybody!

Push them in!

Thank you.

- What is going on?

- I don't know!

Who are these people?

Grover!

No, wait a second! They can't stay here!

Look, it took over three hours

getting them here.

We ain't taking them back!

No. Stop! You can't do this!

Listen, dude, your parents aren't

the only ones with problems, okay?

My dad treats Mom like dirt.

My dad's coming up

on his second year with Louise.

So what?

So he always gets divorced

on his second year. You know that.

It's like clockwork. Come on, Groves.

We'll do some massive group therapy

on them. It'll be fun.

MATT:
Teddy. Stop it.

What are they doing here?

- Well, I couldn't leave them at home.

- Here you go, Matt.

- You're such a good doggy.

- You brought Cosmo?

- T.J. brought Spot.

- Say hi, Spot.

- A snake?

- A boa constrictor.

- Cool.

- Where do you want the sleeping bag?

What is all this?

Dude, our parents could be

down there for months.

Make way.

- Somebody had to have seen you guys.

- Nobody saw us, all right? Trust me.

I can't see.

Get off of my leg. Get off.

I've got business to do.

Get away.

People, if we could just...

Hello!

Go ahead.

You don't understand.

We've been trying this for a little while.

They don't listen.

Maybe you could come downstairs,

be a little more comfortable.

It could be a while.

Wait a minute.

You mean we're going to be locked

in a basement for a long time?

That's some kind of joke, right?

I don't know, I read an article

about some people

who were locked in a basement.

The neighbor came and found them,

hanged to death.

Jimmy!

Hello. Sorry.

Jimmy, what are you doing?

Get those things outside.

Incoming!

What are you guys doing?

No rules, man! Boogie down!

We'll punish the parents tomorrow.

I don't want to punish them, okay.

I want to help them!

Cosmo!

Grover, honey!

Hi.

Grover, listen, your mother

and my problems aside,

this is completely out of hand now.

I know.

What do I do?

- What do you do?

- It's very simple.

All you have to do is let us out.

You listen to me, sonny boy.

The second that I get out of here,

I'm having you arrested.

That's right. Yeah. This is

unlawful restraint. Now, that's a felony.

- Honey.

- Come here!

I'm going to have you arrested, too.

Oh, sweetheart. Here, darling, take this.

You know?

What is it with you people?

Have you ever heard of dusting?

Here.

Donald's allergic to mold.

Honey, if anything,

the house is spotless.

So, when you're frightened,

just do like my book says,

"Feel the fear, and go for it."

That's right.

"Feel the fear, and go for it."

Sorry about last night.

I just wanted to have some fun.

Fun time is over, Stace.

- Why, are you letting them out?

- How can I? I'm a felon.

I'm gonna do what we started out to do,

get Mom and Dad back together.

They need our help,

so we're gonna help them.

- How?

- I don't know yet. I need time to think.

- What about the other parents?

- Stacy, they're not our problem.

Okay, make sure

everybody gets some breakfast.

And don't let T.J. out of your sight.

Good morning.

Lovely day.

- Lots of marshmallows.

- More marshmallows.

All right.

- What are these?

- Crunch-berry burgers.

Delicious.

Excuse me.

If we could gather around?

Ned and I just want to tell you

how embarrassed we are and sorry,

and really hope

we're going to get out soon.

But until we do, I just thought

maybe it would be a good idea

if we laid some ground rules

so that we all just got along better.

First of all, if you have any questions,

please don't...

I do. Listen.

You could actually...

I need some help with something.

You don't happen to have a cigarette,

do you?

No.

No, in fact,

we don't allow smoking in the house.

Oh, well, I guess I'll just go outside.

- What a charming...

- Secondly,

we are down here, so we might as well

make the best of it, and...

Just like that, just make the best of it?

Did you hear that, Gwen?

T.J. did say something about sleeping

bags, in case we have to stay...

Listen, honey.

We don't need sleeping bags

because we're not staying another night

in this godforsaken...

Oh, sweetheart.

Oh, my God, give me the roll.

So, Ned, how long have you been

remodeling down here?

Well, I...

About 14 years!

Well, takes time.

So, is your bathroom still working?

Yes. Toilet, sink, it all works.

- Louise?

- Yes.

Would you run interference

for me, please?

Mine eyes have seen the glory

of the coming of the Lord

Where the grapes of wrath are stored

I'm not being punished because

your marriage is falling apart, buddy.

I'm holding you personally responsible

for this.

- Sounds like some sort of threat.

- Well, is that what you think?

Dad, can you come up here

for a second?

Go ahead, wussy.

Yes, what is it?

Mr. Mitchell just called. He wants you

to be at the airport in one hour

with the plans for the Lakewood mall.

Good, then it's not too late. Great.

Let me out of here right now,

and I can still make the flight.

- I don't think so, Dad.

- Found it.

- What do you mean?

- Good.

- Where are you going?

- The airport.

We told Mr. Mitchell you were still sick.

Wait. You don't understand. I worked

very hard on this. I can't blow it.

Dude, just chill out, all right!

It's just a mall. Later.

Ned, would you like to play Operation?

Stacy!

Bombs away!

Stop it.

Guys, don't ring the doorbell

until I tell you.

We didn't.

- Yeah?

- Are the Beindorfs home?

No. They're at the doctor's.

I'm babysitting.

Well, I brought them

some chicken soup.

Thanks.

"Feel the fear, and go for it."

"Feel the fear, and go for it."

Feel the fear.

Feel the fear.

You owe me a quarter.

Thank you for joining us.

I'm Robin Leach

with those champagne wishes

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