House of 1000 Corpses Page #23

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NAISH:

Questions about what?

CAPT. SPAULDING

This and that, mostly some tired Dr.

Satan bullshit... they got a gander

at the display back there and thought

they could solve the great Deadwoods

mystery.

WYDELL:

And...

CAPT. SPAULDING

And I gave 'em directions out there,

up by the old farm row... I figured

what's the harm. Stupid kids probably

going out to piss up a rope and got

themselves turned around backasswards

and got lost as sh*t.

WYDELL:

Is that all... think real hard.

CAPT. SPAULDING

Yeah, they weren't here but a few

minutes, didn't really have time to

get as up close and personal as I do

with most of the a**holes that wander

through here.

WYDELL:

How's about you give me those same

directions.

CAPT. SPAULDING

Yeah, yeah, sure. You don't have to

get all True Grit all over my ass...

I'll give'm to ya... you can knock

yourself silly for all I care.

WYDELL:

(hands him a note pad)

Enough talk, write.

INT. TOW TRUCK - DAY

We are cruising down the road. A bobbing head skeleton toy

glued to the dashboard wiggles with each bump in the road.

Behind the wheel is Rufus Jr., riding shotgun is Baby, dressed

in her Sunday best. The radio is blasting.

BABY:

(screaming over the

music)

We're gonna have fun tonight, bro.

RUFUS JR.

Yeah, fun.

They speed off.

EXT. CHERRYPICKER RD. - WOODS - MIDDAY

The police cruiser maneuvers down the rough dirt road.

INT. POLICE CAR - MIDDAY

Wydell and Naish scan the surrounding woods for any sign of

Denise and her friends.

NAISH:

Boss, the way I see it is these kids

probally stop off somewhere, bought

a bunch of booze and are off getting

shitfaced.

WYDELL:

I hope you're right, but my guts are

telling me different.

NAISH:

Your Spidey senses tingling.

WYDELL:

Yeah...

(realizes what he

just said)

...huh, what the hell are you talking

about?

NAISH:

You know, your hyper sensitive Spidey

senses... like Spider-man...

(pauses)

...you know, like in the comics.

WYDELL:

How old do you think I am? I know

who the f*** Spider-man is. Get to

your point.

NAISH:

You know, his senses start tingling...

when he was approaching danger and

sh*t.

WYDELL:

I always favored the Hulk.

NAISH:

Hulk was dumb as sh*t.

WYDELL:

Aw, f***.

NAISH:

What.

EXT. CHERRYPICKER RD. - WOODS - MIDDAY

Bill's car is down in a ditch, run off the side of the road.

INT. POLICE CAR - MIDDAY

Naish checks the license plate number with his sheet.

NAISH:

Plates match.

WYDELL:

Call the chief... We found 'em.

EXT. PINK P*SSY CAT LIQUORS - MIDDAY

A small, crummy liquor store stands next to a sleazy motel.

A filthy looking hooker leads her customer to a waiting room,

a homeless bum stands screaming obscenities in the parking

lot.

INT. PINK P*SSY CAT LIQUORS - MIDDAY

The store is decorated for Halloween.

Off to one side is a curtained room. A sign reads "XXX 8mm

loops", sex noises can be heard inside.

Baby and Rufus stand at the counter waiting for the CASHIER,

a skinny geek with glasses, to total up their purchases. The

counter is loaded with bottles.

The cashier is packing the bottles into cardboard boxes.

CASHIER:

You all having a Halloween party

tonight?

BABY:

Now, what makes you think that?

CASHIER:

You all sure are buying a lot of

holy water for two people.

BABY:

Yeah, well we like to get f***ed up

and do f***ed up sh*t, you know what

I mean?

CASHIER:

Yeah, yeah...

(giggling)

...I like to f*** sh*t up.

BABY:

I'll bet you do... how much we owe

ya...

(looks at his name

tag)

...Goober?

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