House of 1000 Corpses Page #29

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Everyone chants "Who's your Daddy?"

OTIS:

(imitating Willis)

Now, I say my little darlings...

(rotates the chain to

Mary)

maybe prancing around where you don't

belong ain't such a winner of an

idea...

(slaps Mary across

the face)

Slowly turns the chain to face Jerry.

OTIS:

And you, the great rusher of fools,

what were you after...

(slaps Jerry)

Huh, speak to me...

(slaps him again)

Oh, that's right, Dr. Satan...

everybody got to know about Dr. Satan,

Jesus Christ, let the old dog rest

for f*** sake, he's already got one

foot in the grave and the other's

tap dancing around the edge...

(gets nose to nose

with Jerry)

...well, I can see the disappointment

on your sad little puppy face... so

I'm gonna do you a favor, a big, big

favor. You owe me, boy. I'm gonna

let you meet the old bastard.

GRAMPA:

That's a horse's ass alright, I told

you.

Jerry's eyes widen in fear.

OTIS:

Baby, roll that old love machine

over here, so this boy can meet his

hero.

Baby rolls Grampa over to Jerry.

OTIS:

(lifts his skin mask)

You see it's all true, the boogieman

is real and you found him...

(Jerry stares in shock)

...why so sad? Isn't this what you

begged for? There he is, the living

legend himself, ta da Dr. Satan.

Now, don't get shy on me... ask your

hero some questions, don't blow this

last in a lifetime opportunity.

GRAMPA:

Zarkoff, I will conquer the sea, the

air, the earth... the universe.

Mother moves in close to Jerry.

MOTHER:

Look at the way he lights up... Grampa

just loves meeting his fans.

Otis grabs Jerry's cheeks and makes his face move like a

ventriloquist dummy, provides Jerry's voice.

OTIS:

Aw gee whiz, I'm so excited... I

really think you're the coolest...

you're tops on the playground, cooler

than the Fonzie.

Baby grabs Mary and does the same ventriloquist routine.

BABY:

Oh, oh pick me, pick me... I have a

question.

Baby rotates Mary around to where Gramps is seated.

BABY:

(squeezing Mary's

face, hard)

I was wondering Mr. Satan sir, do

you like to kiss on the first date

or is that considered slutty?

GRAMPA:

What the f*** are you saying? Who

the hell is talking to me?

Tiny, growing restless, begins banging on his metal drum.

KLANG - KLANG - KLANG. Rufus joins in, clapping his hands.

MOTHER:

Come on, my babies are getting

restless.

RUFUS JR.

Dump in the pit, dump in the pit,

dump in the pit.

Mother, Baby, Grampa join in chanting with Rufus.

OTIS:

Alright, alright. Cut 'em down, it's

time they get what they came here

for.

EXT. FIELD - NIGHT

The rain pounds down. A heavy fog hovers over the dense growth

of the field. In the distance, silhouetted by moonlight, a

gruesome caravan slowly moves through the night.

Otis, lantern in hand, leads the way. Followed by Baby and

Mother together under a large black umbrella. Next Rufus

holds the leash connected to Jerry, Denise and Mary.

Bringing up the rear, Tiny, shotgun focused on the prisoners,

and Grampa. Grampa is strapped to Tiny's back like a child.

He waves a flashlight back and forth like a search beam.

The group comes to a halt at a huge wooden structure.

OTIS:

(handing Baby the

lantern)

Hold this. Point it over here.

Baby directs the light at Otis. We see that he is trying to

unlock a huge padlock attached to an iron door embedded in

the base of the wooden structure.

Otis unlocks the door and swings it open. He reaches down

into the blackness and pulls up an iron hook and wench,

attached to the hook is a chain.

Otis parts a section of the overgrown grass next to the pit

to reveal a rusty metal crank. He begins to turn the crank.

Slowly, from out of the pit, rises a coffin hanging from the

end of the chain.

Otis pulls the coffin over and lays it flat on the ground.

He flips open the lid.

OTIS:

Hey happy-boy, step your ass up here.

Rufus cuts loose Jerry, but holds him steady by the neck.

BABY:

Take his gag out, it's more fun with

the screaming.

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