House Party Page #3

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Aw, man.

Oh, sh*t!

Here's another dusty one

for you dusties.

Hope you all got

your Medicaid together.

Who's that?

Hey, Pops.

What they got you doing?

What's to it, man?

Playin' for

the elephant graveyard, man.

Dead tired. lt's a gig, man.

What you got

in the crate over there?

Some Platters, lnk Spots...

Mills Brothers, Count Basie,

Big Joe Turner.

Slap some of them old sides

on the turntable...

get a little scratchin'

and mixin' goin' on...

l'll grab the microphone,

and we can get busy.

Do that again.

You just grab...

Let's kick his--

Chill. The punk is mine.

Kick it, Pops!

One, two. One, two.

Hey, everybody,

my name is Kid.

How y'all feelin'?

Just throw your hands

in the air.

Just wave your hands in the air!

Come on!

Wave your hands in the air!

That's right.

Throw your hands

in the air, all right?

Wave your hands in the air.

Throw, throw...

Oh, dear!

Get the hell back there!

You want to see how crazy l am?

What you lookin' at?

Yo, Mandingo,

leave the brother alone.

Sucker, you want

another part in your head?

Lighten up.

Yeah, l did it.

l might cry two tears

in a bucket. F*** it.

Let's take it to the stage.

Sorry, sir.

Look, Officer,

it was just an accident.

We don't want to press charges.

They've been in

a few accidents this evening.

l don't think you should

let this slide by.

They need discipline,

not solitary confinement.

That's true.

Thank you very much.

Too scared to make a statement.

-They're not gonna talk?

-Nope.

They're not gonna press charges?

You perpetrators

were very lucky tonight.

Apparently these people

aren't gonna press charges.

So you're gonna get up,

go home, and go to bed.

But before you do...

l want you to repeat after me.

What?

l am...

What?

l am !

Come on, with feeling.

l am...

somebody.

somebody.

Oh, really.

This is ridiculous.

That's good.

Now get up and go home.

Beat it! Hold it!

Let him go. You go that way.

Sh*t!

The place to be.

-Got some gum, man?

-No.

Groove!

What's up, Play?

Chill! Herman, man.

Make yourself at home.

Too many hard-legs here.

Need more women.

LaDonna! How you doin', baby?

Lookin' real good.

How about giving me

those digits?

Step off.

Baby, l'm taking you places,

meetin' people.

-Clinton, homes.

-What's up, money?

Glad you could make it.

l want you

to meet my lady, um...

Benita.

lt's a pleasure to meet you.

l hope l have the opportunity

of dancing with you later.

We'll see about that.

LaShay, how you doin'?

Don't you have any refreshments?

Some soda or potato chips?

You should've got here earlier.

l had everything.

Liter bottles, potato chips,

the whole shebang.

Brothers went through it.

l always get here

too late for the snacks.

There's a store

right up the street.

Anything you want.

Help yourself.

Mama should have fed you

before you got here.

This ain't no soup kitchen.

Yo, what's up, man?

What's up?

Glad you showed up.

What's with your pops?

How much more trouble

can l get into?

A beat-down's a beat-down.

Let me announce you.

Y'all, look who fell

into the gig!

l got to go.

Make yourself at home.

Put my stuff in its spot.

You got it.

What's up?

What up?

What up, B? How you livin'?

Coolin'.

Cover the labels.

N*ggers can't bite your sh*t.

That's smooth.

You brought the mike?

Yeah, but look, man,

it's for Play.

lt's his party.

Only he can rap.

That mumble-mouth motherf***er?

l'm the one

with the dope lyrics.

l got to go

for mine tonight.

F*** that.

Get my lyrics together.

Man.

Work, Sharane!

Where you at?

Go, girl!

Chill, don't bump the table.

l appreciate it.

Play something l can dance to,

and l won't.

Don't bump the table.

l'm tryin' to mix.

You call that mixin'?

l just helped you out.

Thank you!

Next time l'm just

gonna f*** him up.

What the...

What the hell's going on here?

Shut up all that damn noise!

This ain't "Soul Train"!

Where's Don Cornelius

with his stiff neck?

You shut up all that damn noise.

l paid $15,000 for this house.

Who else is over there,

Public Enema?

What's his name?

What the hell

is a public enema anyway?

Walter.

Brother, you by yourself.

What's wrong?

Maybe that

big water head you got.

Shut up all this damn noise!

Hey, baby.

You have got some nice ones.

Baby, shut up.

l'm just playing with the kids.

You should find out

what she eatin'.

Y'all shut the hell up

down there!

l got something for you.

You stay right there.

Ain't this a b*tch?

What are you doing?

-Callin' the police.

-For what?

They're driving me crazy

with this damn noise.

You makin' all the noise.

l got the wrong number,

too, baby.

Hold on one second.

Dance now with your big ass.

911?

l'll hold.

Scandalous!

Sharane, man.

That girl is Nubian.

She's the finest girl in here.

That ain't hard in here,

but still...

l'm getting those digits.

Don't play yourself.

You ain't got no rap.

She don't know that.

Sweet daddy!

Why you cock-blockin' me?

lt ain't like that.

We go way back.

l used to go with her

in third grade.

-l don't remember that.

-For three days.

Why you trippin'?

Just make sure we don't trip

on the dance floor.

Why these cops

keep sweatin' us, man?

They always f***in' with us.

They're gone, man.

Damn.

Look at us, fellas.

This is not right.

We're nervous and tense.

Cop cars follow us,

and we just go to pieces.

-This ain't us!

-This ain't the way.

l know there's a reason

behind all this.

And l know what the reason is.

All because of some f*ggot,

head-like-a-rocket...

stick-your-finger-in-a-socket,

punk motherf***er named Kid.

That's who l mean!

Ever since this fool

came into my life...

l can't do nothin'

but see him, man.

l'll be alone with

my woman sometimes...

damn near ready

to wax that ass...

and all l can do

is vision this fool.

-Word?

-Word.

l don't know about that.

l know when it comes

to my dick action...

all l can think about

is the p*ssy.

He must have a mental block

or something.

Pee-Wee, you know what l mean.

-l was jokin'.

-l'll drop you like a bad cold.

Why don't you chill

the f*** out?

l'm gonna put a serious

bum-rush into effect...

and we in the house.

l get it.

We'll be housin' the party.

We'll make it

like a real house party.

-We be housin' sh*t.

-Word.

Officer,

l spent $15,000 on my house.

l don't want no goddamn

Public Enema around here.

Yes, sir.

Shut up, old man!

Your asses are old.

Mr. So-and-so'll be right over.

Just hold on one second.

4789. Come on over, God damn it!

What you mean,

don't curse at you?

You're cursin' at me!

F*** you, too!

All that goddamn noise.

You wouldn't believe the skirt

this girl has got on.

lt's two inches above the thing.

Damn.

Hi. Let's do this, girl.

The time is...

l'm sorry.

l just finished dancing.

Why girls be gettin' tired

real quick?

lt's hot in here.

My hair is through.

Put some use

to them corns on your feet.

Maybe later, OK?

You done turned down

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