Housos vs. Authority

Synopsis: Shazza Jones is a die-hard resident of "Sunnyvale" the roughest, toughest, meanest area of Australia not yet rejuvenated by the Australian Government. Packed together inside this 'Hope-less' place of low-life, and acutely destitute estate are some of the most inhuman bacterial scourges that are left to their own devices; The Junkies, who will have anything that resembles a valuable meal ticket for their next hit of heroin. The Bikers, headed by Angry (Angry Anderson), whose authority and rule over parts of Sunnyvale echo his warnings to stay out of his way, and then there is Kev, Franky, Shazza and Vanessa - together they make up the estate into what is it today... unbelievable! The story of "Sunnyvale" is told through the experiences and guidance of Shazzas' Uncle Bazza, whose daily life revolves around the slot machines, pub and pleasurable assertions while under the stupor of alcohol. And the story which he tells us is the quest of Shazza scattering her old Mom's ashes of "Aires Roc
 
IMDB:
5.5
Rotten Tomatoes:
60%
Year:
2012
$828,979
507 Views


Shut up!

So, girls,

this advertising campaign

is for a new type of aftershave

specifically targeting

the poor demographic.

It's called...

...Stank.

I just want you girls

to give me your best trashy

when we get there, alright?

You understand?

What we're looking for here

is total realism.

Total realism.

That's why I picked this,

the worst suburb in Australia.

The worst.

- Have a go at that, bra!

- Wow!

Come on, everyone. Let's go.

Let's go. Security. Thank you.

Girls, let's go.

Let's get into our gear. Quickly.

So, girls, when it comes to the walk,

we're going to want

kind of a drunk, flat hustle.

Good.

Ohh!

I gotta go!

Give me skank!

Ha-ha!

Thanks for the text, man.

Have a go at that, Franky!

Come on, girls. Give it to me!

Give me slut!

Ahh!

Come on, babe. Put something into it.

- Get your gear off!

- I think she was looking on me, man.

- Show us your titties!

- Nah, no way, bro.

- She was on me.

- Show Reg your titties!

Ahh!

Yeah, f***ing cop that,

ya f***in' anorexic sluts!

F***in' comin' down here flashing ya

f***in' gash round, makin' my man horny!

Arggh!

Let's smash those posh wankers!

Arggh!

Arggh!

Hey, Shaz, all this

has made me fully toey, babe!

You fancy a 68?

What the f***'s a 68?

It's like a 69,

but you give me head

and then I owe ya one!

I'll f***in' give ya head!

I'll give ya a f***in' broken head,

ya fuckwit!

Stop makin' so much bloody noise!

I can't hear the TV!

All the people on the pension...

Make some noise!

# We hang down on the block

# This is where we live

and we just don't give a f***

- Yeah, bro!

# 'Cause we don't have a job

# Some scam and others rob

# We wear thongs, bro

# We do AVOs, we wear uggs, bro... #

Where'd me kids go?

And if you come here after 7:00...

- You'll have to deal with Kevin.

- Why?

# 'Cause we're housos

# Housos, housos

# Housos, housos, housos

# Housos, housos, housos! #

Neighbours getting to be good friends?

Yeah, f***ing come down

to Sunnyvale, mate!

How ya goin'?

My name's Barry.

Most people call me Bazza.

This is me local.

I know ya met me niece, Shazza Jones,

a bit earlier.

She's a good sort, eh?

If I was a bit younger, and wasn't

her uncle, I'd probably give her one.

He f***ed up...

Shazza lives with her de facto,

Dazza.

Yeah, times are tough around here.

Shut up, ya f***in' monger!

You spastic!

Have a look!

Bloody parking fines and court bills

and your mum's f***in' prescriptions!

We need money!

I can't hear the television!

And poor old Shazza,

oh, she hasn't had a good run lately.

Hey, Beryl, can you mind Bub for me?

I need to have a cone!

I'm not lookin' after your kids

so you can get off your bloody head!

B*tch!

What?

Shazza's dad, me brother, Wazza,

he passed away recently.

Poor bugger.

He had a heart attack

while he was in bed with this filly

he picked up at the races.

Not the four-legged kind, you know,

that'd be weird.

We were all upset,

but it hit Shazza pretty hard.

I guess the worst part was

we couldn't afford a decent funeral.

We could have got Dad

a heaps better f***in' headstone

if you didn't waste all the cheque money

on that f***in' esky wagon!

You're f***ed in the face, Daz!

Maybe we should leave Shazza and Dazza

alone for a little while.

Why don't I give you

a tour of Sunnyvale?

Most people think it's a shithole.

But it's not. It's our area.

It's where we grew up.

It's where we live.

These are the local cops.

They're just a bunch of boofheads

if you ask me.

Stop!

F*** it! F*** it! They're juveniles.

Too much paperwork. F*** it.

I'd like to taser

those little arseholes!

Nothin' but a bunch

of f***in' oxygen thieves!

Yeah, that's the local Lebo gang,

the Sunnyvale Assassins.

Not the bloody sharpest

tools in the shed, this lot.

Last week, they tried to do a drive-by

on a bloke that owed them money.

But because the coppers

defected all their cars,

one of them had to

get his mum to drive them.

What the f***'s going on?! Slow down!

Oh, my God! Like, Mummy!

Slow down, please.

What are you doing?

Oh, my God! Like, you're s'posed

to go slow so I can shoot them.

Who the f*** brings their mum

to a drive-by, you d*ckhead?!

Shut up, Rocky! Where's your mum?

Don't talk about my mum, Habib,

or I'll shoot ya!

Did you see that?

I think there was a Ninja

inside the car.

Oh, have a go at this lot.

Yeah, they're the local junkies.

'Cause they keep

robbing all the buses,

they don't even run a bus service

down here anymore.

Ya didn't have to take my lunch,

ya little pricks!

Bloody junkies.

This here's a bit of a birthday

tradition down here on the block.

'Cause most people

can't afford a cake for their birthdays,

we usually just burn a car instead.

Hey, Big Wheels,

you gonna be on the icerink later?

Sure am, bro. Wanna buy some dope?

Nah, man.

Even if I did,

like, as if I could afford it.

That bloke there is Franky.

He's Dazza's best mate.

Good bloke, but he's always in trouble

with either the coppers or the ladies.

Franky, f***in' off

from a threesome before ya blow?

I thought I was dating

a f***in' gentleman.

Oh, one minute slap my arse,

'Oh, go harder, Franky. '

Now, 'Be gentle, man. '

Don't confuse on my brain, please.

Oh, sometimes he's in trouble

with both at the same time.

Falzoni! Stop, Falzoni! Stop there!

Here. Time for me

to take the dogs for a run.

F***in' go, Franky!

Go f***in' under it!

F***in' under it!

F***!

- Stop the cops, mate!

- F*** off!

I wanna block the coppers, mate!

Arggh!

Park your f***in' vehicle properly,

will ya, ya fuckwit!

I got a f***ed motor brain,

ya f***in' mongrel dog!

- Get the little prick!

- Come here, ya little f***!

Too slow, mate! Too slow!

Big Wheels! Give us a lift, mate.

Turn around! The cops are comin'!

- Get on, get on.

- Go!

- Wanna buy some rack, man, or what?

- No, man, just a lift.

If you wanna know why the coppers

are after Franky, well, it's simple.

'Cause he's always doin' stupid sh*t.

Have a bit of a suiz at what he did

yesterday 'cause he was bored.

I am the cop hunter!

What the f*** is he doing?

- Ahhhh!

- Ahhhhhh!

Ohh!

How did I miss them?!

Alcohol.

That's why they say

don't drink and drive.

It affects accuracy.

Ha!

Look on that, mate!

Not even a scratch, mate!

And I did it 'cause I hate authority,

mate! I hate it!

Sunnyvale, mate!

Sunnyvale for life, mate.

Yeah!

You're f***in' mental!

F***, what's mental about that?

Oh, I think I might have sh*t meself!

Come back here, ya little f***!

- Where'd he f***in' go?

- F***ed if I know.

Ask these coconuts.

They might have f***in' seen him.

Oi!

Did you see a little guy

run through here

with his hat on backwards, little

poofy shorts and f***in' thongs on?

Why don't youse just piss off

and go catch some real criminals

instead of comin' down here

and scarin' my kids, ya dogs?!

What the f*** do you think

we're trying to do, ya stupid scrag!

Oi, don't talk to my missus like that,

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Paul Fenech

Paul Fenech (born 21 November 1972) is a Maltese-Australian filmmaker, film and television actor, director, producer and writer of Maltese descent. He is best known for writing, directing, producing and starring in the television series Pizza, Swift and Shift Couriers, Housos and Bogan Hunters and the motion pictures Fat Pizza (2003), Housos vs. Authority (2012), Fat Pizza vs. Housos (2014) and Dumb Criminals: The Movie (2015). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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