Housos vs. Authority
- Year:
- 2012
- $828,979
- 507 Views
Shut up!
So, girls,
this advertising campaign
is for a new type of aftershave
specifically targeting
the poor demographic.
It's called...
...Stank.
I just want you girls
to give me your best trashy
when we get there, alright?
You understand?
What we're looking for here
is total realism.
Total realism.
That's why I picked this,
the worst suburb in Australia.
The worst.
- Have a go at that, bra!
- Wow!
Come on, everyone. Let's go.
Let's go. Security. Thank you.
Girls, let's go.
Let's get into our gear. Quickly.
So, girls, when it comes to the walk,
we're going to want
kind of a drunk, flat hustle.
Good.
Ohh!
I gotta go!
Give me skank!
Ha-ha!
Thanks for the text, man.
Have a go at that, Franky!
Come on, girls. Give it to me!
Give me slut!
Ahh!
Come on, babe. Put something into it.
- Get your gear off!
- I think she was looking on me, man.
- Show us your titties!
- Nah, no way, bro.
- She was on me.
- Show Reg your titties!
Ahh!
Yeah, f***ing cop that,
ya f***in' anorexic sluts!
F***in' comin' down here flashing ya
f***in' gash round, makin' my man horny!
Arggh!
Let's smash those posh wankers!
Arggh!
Arggh!
Hey, Shaz, all this
has made me fully toey, babe!
You fancy a 68?
What the f***'s a 68?
It's like a 69,
but you give me head
and then I owe ya one!
I'll f***in' give ya head!
I'll give ya a f***in' broken head,
ya fuckwit!
Stop makin' so much bloody noise!
I can't hear the TV!
All the people on the pension...
Make some noise!
# We hang down on the block
# This is where we live
and we just don't give a f***
- Yeah, bro!
# 'Cause we don't have a job
# Some scam and others rob
# We wear thongs, bro
# We do AVOs, we wear uggs, bro... #
Where'd me kids go?
And if you come here after 7:00...
- You'll have to deal with Kevin.
- Why?
# 'Cause we're housos
# Housos, housos
# Housos, housos, housos
# Housos, housos, housos! #
Neighbours getting to be good friends?
Yeah, f***ing come down
to Sunnyvale, mate!
How ya goin'?
My name's Barry.
Most people call me Bazza.
This is me local.
I know ya met me niece, Shazza Jones,
a bit earlier.
She's a good sort, eh?
If I was a bit younger, and wasn't
her uncle, I'd probably give her one.
He f***ed up...
Shazza lives with her de facto,
Dazza.
Yeah, times are tough around here.
Shut up, ya f***in' monger!
You spastic!
Have a look!
Bloody parking fines and court bills
and your mum's f***in' prescriptions!
We need money!
I can't hear the television!
And poor old Shazza,
oh, she hasn't had a good run lately.
Hey, Beryl, can you mind Bub for me?
I need to have a cone!
I'm not lookin' after your kids
so you can get off your bloody head!
B*tch!
What?
Shazza's dad, me brother, Wazza,
he passed away recently.
Poor bugger.
He had a heart attack
while he was in bed with this filly
he picked up at the races.
Not the four-legged kind, you know,
that'd be weird.
We were all upset,
but it hit Shazza pretty hard.
we couldn't afford a decent funeral.
We could have got Dad
a heaps better f***in' headstone
if you didn't waste all the cheque money
on that f***in' esky wagon!
You're f***ed in the face, Daz!
Maybe we should leave Shazza and Dazza
alone for a little while.
Why don't I give you
a tour of Sunnyvale?
Most people think it's a shithole.
But it's not. It's our area.
It's where we grew up.
It's where we live.
These are the local cops.
They're just a bunch of boofheads
if you ask me.
Stop!
F*** it! F*** it! They're juveniles.
Too much paperwork. F*** it.
I'd like to taser
those little arseholes!
Nothin' but a bunch
of f***in' oxygen thieves!
Yeah, that's the local Lebo gang,
the Sunnyvale Assassins.
Not the bloody sharpest
tools in the shed, this lot.
Last week, they tried to do a drive-by
on a bloke that owed them money.
But because the coppers
defected all their cars,
one of them had to
get his mum to drive them.
What the f***'s going on?! Slow down!
Oh, my God! Like, Mummy!
Slow down, please.
What are you doing?
Oh, my God! Like, you're s'posed
to go slow so I can shoot them.
to a drive-by, you d*ckhead?!
Shut up, Rocky! Where's your mum?
Don't talk about my mum, Habib,
or I'll shoot ya!
Did you see that?
inside the car.
Oh, have a go at this lot.
Yeah, they're the local junkies.
'Cause they keep
robbing all the buses,
they don't even run a bus service
down here anymore.
Ya didn't have to take my lunch,
ya little pricks!
Bloody junkies.
This here's a bit of a birthday
tradition down here on the block.
'Cause most people
can't afford a cake for their birthdays,
we usually just burn a car instead.
Hey, Big Wheels,
you gonna be on the icerink later?
Sure am, bro. Wanna buy some dope?
Nah, man.
Even if I did,
like, as if I could afford it.
He's Dazza's best mate.
Good bloke, but he's always in trouble
with either the coppers or the ladies.
Franky, f***in' off
from a threesome before ya blow?
I thought I was dating
a f***in' gentleman.
Oh, one minute slap my arse,
'Oh, go harder, Franky. '
Now, 'Be gentle, man. '
Don't confuse on my brain, please.
Oh, sometimes he's in trouble
with both at the same time.
Falzoni! Stop, Falzoni! Stop there!
Here. Time for me
to take the dogs for a run.
F***in' go, Franky!
Go f***in' under it!
F***in' under it!
F***!
- Stop the cops, mate!
- F*** off!
I wanna block the coppers, mate!
Arggh!
Park your f***in' vehicle properly,
will ya, ya fuckwit!
I got a f***ed motor brain,
ya f***in' mongrel dog!
- Get the little prick!
- Come here, ya little f***!
Too slow, mate! Too slow!
Big Wheels! Give us a lift, mate.
Turn around! The cops are comin'!
- Get on, get on.
- Go!
- Wanna buy some rack, man, or what?
- No, man, just a lift.
If you wanna know why the coppers
are after Franky, well, it's simple.
'Cause he's always doin' stupid sh*t.
Have a bit of a suiz at what he did
yesterday 'cause he was bored.
I am the cop hunter!
What the f*** is he doing?
- Ahhhh!
- Ahhhhhh!
Ohh!
How did I miss them?!
Alcohol.
That's why they say
don't drink and drive.
It affects accuracy.
Ha!
Look on that, mate!
Not even a scratch, mate!
And I did it 'cause I hate authority,
mate! I hate it!
Sunnyvale, mate!
Sunnyvale for life, mate.
Yeah!
You're f***in' mental!
F***, what's mental about that?
Oh, I think I might have sh*t meself!
Come back here, ya little f***!
- Where'd he f***in' go?
- F***ed if I know.
Ask these coconuts.
They might have f***in' seen him.
Oi!
Did you see a little guy
run through here
with his hat on backwards, little
poofy shorts and f***in' thongs on?
Why don't youse just piss off
and go catch some real criminals
instead of comin' down here
and scarin' my kids, ya dogs?!
What the f*** do you think
we're trying to do, ya stupid scrag!
Oi, don't talk to my missus like that,
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"Housos vs. Authority" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/housos_vs._authority_10279>.
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