How Much Does the Trojan Horse Weigh? Page #2

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I'd been saving for a long time,

refusing to buy cookies.

And the Russians

and East Europeans

have bought the copyright

of the TV series. And a credit...

You secretive a**hole.

You didn't ask my opinion.

I can withdraw the advance.

Not on your life!

God, how beautiful!

How did you know

it was my dream?

I know you a little.

Folks! It's today!

- Aren't you scared?

- Of what?

- The millennium!

- What millennium?

It's coming along! Tonight

everything is going crazy.

Mostly computers.

Things will be happening.

Zosia and Kuba!

Happy millennium!

In fact, the new millennium

starts in 2001.

And 2000 is the last year

of the old one.

But everything's going

crazy tonight.

That's media hysterics, only to have

all heave a sigh of relief after.

- Nothing's going to happen?

- It never did!

The last time was

Ever had presents like:

Let's stay home?

- Worse.

- Worse?!

Wanna hear why I didn't

become a body builder?

- Cause you learned to read and write?

- That too. But it's a secret.

I've never told

anyone about it.

You can tell us.

Not a peep. Promise.

- Since I was a frail boy...

- When you were about...

Ten... I wanted very much

to be strongly built

and asked mom and dad

to buy me dumbbells.

- What?!

- Weights to exercise with.

And they bought me... one.

How come?

You exercise with two.

Mom must've thought,

"Two at a time

would go to his head.

We'll buy him one

and next we'll see..."

But you can't exercise

with one!

I never got the other one.

You were

a poor neglected kid.

Had he really wanted to have

two, he'd have gotten them!

- You know how obstinate he is?

- I do.

Florka, I got

something for you.

Attention! Close your eyes.

- Attention...

- Come here, come...

Not only you

mull over this problem.

Come,

I'll show you something.

Kuba has bought it

for me.

You can spoil

everything.

We'll hang the Polish

version in the john.

Hi, Mom.

I've been calling you...

Where have you been?

- Why didn't you try my cell?

- You know I hate cells.

May you live to be a hundred.

Careful with the New Year Eve's party.

No, thank you.

We ignore the party.

How can you?

We have a New Year Eve's

party every day.

Something's bound to happen.

The computers won't manage...

They said on TV about special

duties in the banks...

It's food for morons...

A medial hysterics,

only to have everyone

heave a sigh of relief after...

- Where did you get it?

- From the wardrobe.

I'm a moron, then.

Cause you got excited

by that rubbish.

- What if you lose your money?

- Tell positive news sometimes.

Didn't I offer my wishes!

Must we fight even on your birthday?

But I'm not, Mom.

Nothing untoward will occur.

- We'll see, then.

- I'll call you in the New Year.

Love. Bye.

How many times did I tell you

not to take my things?

You used to wear this once?

Once. Take it off

or you'll damage it.

- Don't keep it. Donate to the poor.

- The first thing I bought abroad.

- Take it off.

- You put it on.

Don't get my goat!

My birthday is enough

- with the party the same day!

- Which do I choose for school?

- It's holidays.

- No time later.

- Which?

- This.

Show me. Certainly not!

- What have you done, Mom?!

- I photographed badly!

Don't you ever tear mementos.

Luckily, I got the negative.

When will you take off

the dress? Throw it away!

We really ignore the party?

Yes. Go to bed, come on.

Tomorrow's another day

full of sensation.

Mom's right. Bye, bye.

I told Grandma I wish

I were 15 years younger.

We could've been 15

years together.

We're lucky

to have met at all!

It might've been

different earlier.

You could not

have fancied me.

- Or you me?

- Or you me.

You creep! How could you

not have fancied me?!

Not at all! You are

incredibly beautiful!

I'll lift my eyelids

and you'll see then!

You want to go under

the knife? Crazy?

Wouldn't you like

to have a younger wife?

Repeat:
you're

incredibly beautiful...

Folks! We really ignore it?

It's in 5 minutes.

On the double!

Two minutes!

I can't without makeup

in the new millennium.

The new one is next year.

Come!

- Mom, please!

- Don't start without me!

One minute left!

Quick, quick.

...5, 4, 3, 2, 1, zero!

Two thousand!

All the best. May this year

be better than the former

and not necessarily

than those to come.

She's asleep.

Thank you we are finally

moving out of this bedroom.

No problemo, Chief.

Get ready. I'll be back

and give you a hard time.

Come back and do it.

Well, not so bad!

The new millennium.

It has begun!

The commie times are over,

but Lenin's perennially alive

in the power plant.

You've been smoking?

How did you get here?

What's that dog?

Why waking me up?

And why yelling?

What's your business here.

Piss the f*** off!

- What piss off?

- Kuba, what's up?

- What Kuba?

- Jesus, it's a dream.

What're you doing

in my bed?!!!

In your bed???

I'm your husband!

What Kuba? Aren't you hiding

something from me?

It's a dream.

Like in the airport!

Sleep! Sleep!

It's a dream all right.

What about making

a little love, huh?

We'll talk about it

tomorrow.

What a nightmare I've had.

All right.

You'll tell me tomorrow.

F*** such dreams.

Kuba! Make me coffee!

Oh, darn it, I've lost

my contact lenses.

Kuba! Florka! Wish

you'd find my contact lenses.

We're happy to move out

of this shack.

It's just running up and down,

like a lighthouse keeper!

I see better without them.

How did you behave

last night, huh?

You bashed my nose!

You flipped out?!

- Oh, f***!

- Mind your French.

Jaruzelski's plans are

a significant initiative.

Why interested in Jaruzelski

all of a sudden?

That's what I needed!

So did I? I wanted a wife

to make me breakfast,

so I got one!

An unbuttered roll. Enjoy!

Why are you yelling at me?

Why should I make you

breakfast?

Sometimes you could've

made it for me... once.

What happened, darling?

You quarreled with Mom?

I hope you'll have gotten

over it by the evening.

Tad, wife, and the Swedes

are coming.

This dinner may set us well

till our dying day.

- Try your best, please.

- What Swedes?

Thank you for taking

interest in my business!

I've been cutting this deal

for half a year and you

don't remember it's tonight.

Oh, Jesus!

Aren't you going

to the university?

No, I'll take a day off.

Very good. You want

to prepare the reception.

I f*** receptions!

I must collect my thoughts!

Go ahead and I'll go to

earn dough, so that you

could take a day off

and collect your thoughts.

- Call me in case...

- Your cell?

Cell? My office may not

be a paragon of neatness,

but it's certainly

not in jail.

No! It can't be true!

It's a dream...

A very realistic nightmare!

Impossible, impossible...

No... possible.

The f***ing Groundhog Day!

I wish I'd wanted to be

taller rather than younger!

Florka.

Not a minute longer...

- Hello.

- Hello.

- Any vacancies?

- Yes.

- Then a single if possible.

- I'll try...

- One night?

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