How to Build a Better Boy

1

Go!

Move! Move! Move!

Move it!

Right side

of the building.

Go!

Go!

Ladies and gentlemen,

we're on contain

and capture protocol!

Our fugitives are on site!

The President called.

He wants an update.

Is he upset?

You lost track

of a $3 billion weapon.

I'm sure he's thrilled.

Stay back, Doctor.

Let me reason with them, General.

I can get them to talk.

We're past the time

for a friendly chat.

As far as I'm concerned,

the most dangerous criminals in the world

are right down there!

Give yourselves up!

You've stolen property

of the United States

government.

Come out peacefully

and tell us everything

we want to know,

or you will be locked up

and tried for treason!

And there is no way

you are going to homecoming!

But, Dad!

Not another word,

young lady.

I want you to get

into this bulletproof Humvee

this minute. And I want you to

think about what you have done!

Don't sweat

the little things, guys

Keep your eye on

the bigger things, guys

If you look

a little closer

You're gonna get

a better picture

You and I

would make too fun life

Rockets in the night

Keep your head up,

keep the down

Throw it all in,

make your own ground

And if you're gonna

make a mess, make it loud

And if you're gonna

take a stand, stand out

Life is our game,

we can go play

Shake a

don't be afraid

And if you're gonna

make a mess, make it loud

And if you're gonna

take a stand, stand out

Stand out,

oh, oh

Stand out

We're done.

In ten minutes?

Nine, actually.

I appreciate your confidence,

Gabby,

but you're sophomores

and this is senior calculus.

Why don't you and Mae

check your work?

Yep,

still done.

Gabby and Gabby junior,

wrecking the curve.

As usual.

Dorks.

Mrs. Shapiro,

may we have hall passes?

Mae is tutoring,

and I'm heading up a meeting about

healthier choices

on the cafeteria menu.

There's no time to waste when there's

so much to improve around here.

Thanks.

They called us dorks.

No, no, no,

they said sporks.

It's the world's

most versatile utensil.

So, the tangent

of three pi over four is...

Well, it's in

quadrant two, so...

I'll never get it.

Hey, you play quarterback,

right?

Close your eyes.

Come on,

just trust me.

So picture

the football field

as a circle

on the graph.

The tight end

is lined up at zero...

on the path of the circle.

Strong safety

is at pi over four...

the free safety is...

Uh, three pi over four.

And with X being negative...

the answer is negative one.

Bingo.

I got it!

Wow, that... that is so cool.

I didn't know

you liked football.

I don't really...

but... you do.

What's your deal?

I mean, social-life wise?

Are you going

to homecoming?

Oh.

Is that this weekend?

It's the biggest weekend

of the year.

You're going

to the dance, right?

I don't know.

Gabby and I like

to play it by ear.

Us and all of our friends,

our crew, our posse.

Well, you should go.

You never know

what you'll miss.

Can you believe it?

Yeah.

I know this is gonna

sound crazy.

I feel like Jaden likes me.

He needs you...

to do his problem sets.

Me and Jaden,

impossible, right?

But we had this moment today,

and it's like,

he was gonna ask me to homecoming.

Mae, have you ever

heard the story

of a girl who met a boy

and changed the world?

No, because there isn't one.

Look, who cares

that people here don't like us

or if we don't get invited

to silly dances?

We have the brains.

We're an amazing team,

and someday, we're gonna

blow them all away.

But we need to focus.

Boys are a distraction.

You're right.

You're always right.

Nevaeh for homecoming

queen, obviously.

Aeh for homecoming queen.

Thanks.

All fixed,

Principal Fragner.

It won't crash

when you load videos

and it should run

ten times faster now.

Well, thanks, Gabby.

Now I can catch up

on my online tango lessons.

Okay.

Oh!

Oh, what's wrong?

Jaden texted.

I told you

to forget about him.

He texted me.

Unprovoked.

"Meet me after practise."

With an S.

"Have to ask letter U

an important question."

"C U Lader."

With a D.

Wow. Even auto-correct

can't help this kid.

Well, I mean,

it must be about the dance.

What else

would be important?

Mae.

Jaden Stark is not gonna

ask you to homecoming.

"See you there."

T-H-E-I-R.

Ugh.

You didn't.

I'm going.

To quote Julius Caesar,

"Cowards die

a thousand deaths."

You know Caesar

got stabbed, right?

Hmm.

Thanks, Nevaeh.

It's all about one word, men!

Focus!

Heart!

Defense!

Tenacity!

Hi.

Uh, this is

so ill-advised.

Okay, now when Jaden

comes over here,

act normal.

Don't say anything smart.

Okay.

Uh-oh.

I don't think

I'm your problem.

Why is Nevaeh

coming over here?

She doesn't even know

who I am.

Bon jour, ladies.

What brings you here?

Jaden invited us.

Mae, you and Jaden

aren't even

on the same social radar.

See, here's

the social radar

and over here

is Siberia,

and over there,

that's...

That's you.

Why do people

even like you?

Well, I'm not

the one trying to

steal someone's

homecoming date.

Mae thinks

Jaden is asking her.

But Jaden and I

have been dating for like,

17 whole days.

And everyone knows it

except, apparently,

the school geniuses.

I never...

I never said that.

I know what you saids and dids,

pumpkin.

And I know a crush

when I see one.

So back off.

Hey, what's going on?

Oh, silly girl talk.

Hey, Jaden, um,

you're asking me

to the dance, right?

Yeah.

I knew it.

But there have been

some nasty rumors

in the kingdom.

Mae, what I wanted

to ask you was...

can we go over

quadratic functions tomorrow?

You know me,

I'm clueless.

Yes, we can see that.

Sorry to burst your bubble.

Sad face emoji.

Au revoir.

Let's go, Mae.

Told you

this was a bad idea.

Hey, Nevaeh!

My bubble

is totally un-burst

because I already

have a boyfriend!

Mae, what are you doing?

See, my boyfriend,

so cute.

Total hot burger.

And his name is...

Albert.

Albert!

Oh.

Yeah, that's right.

He's varsity in five sports,

genius IQ.

And he volunteers

with endangered animals.

Orphan endangered animals.

So when can we meet this...

Albert?

Oh, well,

see, the thing is...

he lives in Alaska.

Right around the corner

in Alaska?

For a second there,

I thought

you were gonna pick some

super remote place

to cover up the fact

that he doesn't exist.

Huh!

Come on, ladies.

What did you

just get us into?

Hey, Mae!

Can't wait to meet your new boyfriend!

I don't know

why I did that.

Temporary insanity.

Ahoy, ladies.

Need a ride?

Uh, Mae,

your brother bought a cab.

Bart,

you bought a cab?

No, it's a classic car.

You like it, Gabby?

Absolutely!

My grandpa used to have a car

exactly like this...

when he drove a cab.

I got a great deal on it.

And you guys only get

the privilege to get a ride

because the seniors

got out early

because of homecoming.

Oh, Mae,

congrats on getting owned by Nevaeh Barnes.

Yeah, it is all over

our school's website.

And even I have never done

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