How To Deal Page #2

Hi, Len.

On a clear day,

you can see forever,

and this is one beautiful morning.

Should we tell everyone

our little secret?

Careful. Baby,

you sure this is the time?

I am bursting at the seams

to tell everyone we're eloping.

I just spilled the beans.

That is your father's show, right?

I just love it.

Hi.

Tell him congratulations.

I'm sure you're very excited

about the upcoming nuptials.

My father and my sister.

My sister and my father?

Your father and your sister

are getting married?

Yeah.

No, not to each other.

I...

I have to check something

before I fill this out.

Sit down, Forrester.

Let's see if we can

sort out your usual chaos.

Maybe you'll even do us

the honor of attending this year.

Okay, later, M. T.

I gotta rethink that shop class.

I'm pretty scary with tools.

My.

You didn't know

about your dad getting married?

Yes, I did.

The bastard tells

the whole world before he tells you.

He's not...

Whatever.

At least if they're eloping,

you won't have to go the wedding.

Weddings are the worst.

Me? I've had to go to,

like, five between my parents.

Don't ask.

Listen, M. T. Wasn't giving you

a hard time back there, was she?

'M. T. '?

Mrs. Toussaint and I...

we're on close terms.

You get to know

your guidance counselor really well

when you're clearly

in desperate need of guidance.

See, I've got it

down to a science.

You try the Jedi mind trick.

What's that?

- You never saw Star Wars?

No, I saw it. I guess I just

didn't memorize it like you did.

Well, that's your loss, isn't it?

Because the Jedi mind trick

is when you tell someone what to think,

and they think it.

For example, M. T. Says,

'Macon, you're already in trouble,

and it's the first day of school.

Is this any way

to start the new year? '

Pretend you're me.

Now what do you say?

Okay. I say...

No. I wanna be someone else.

Cute. No. You as me say...

Mrs. T, you're gonna

let this one slide

because it was

an honest mistake,

it's only the first day of school,

and the fire was put out

as quickly as it was started.

You didn't really

start a fire, did you?

The point is that you put

the words into somebody's mouth

and they give them back

like they've come up with the idea.

Like when I ask you

to go out this Friday night,

you're gonna think you're

asking me because you're gonna say,

'I would love to go out with you

'because I know

we'll have a great time together.

In fact, I've been hoping

you'd ask me all week. '

You wanna go out

on a date with me?

See? I told you you'd ask me.

Macon, I think I like you too much

already to actually go out with you.

What kind of logic is that?

It's logical logic.

The quickest way to ruin

a relationship with someone

is to actually try

to have a relationship with them.

Haven't you noticed when

the opposite sex gets together,

eventually someone

ends up getting hurt?

I am, too... boycotting.

You can't boycott

your father's wedding.

It's not even a wedding.

It's... an elopement.

Yeah, except everyone within

his radio frequency is invited.

My God.

He is such a hypocrite.

I cannot believe he wouldn't

tell us about it first.

He didn't give any warning

when you went dinner?

None.

- She was at that dinner?

No.

Okay, yeah.

She was there at the end.

Mom, come on. She wasn't

even supposed to be there.

You know, I don't think I'm gonna

let him walk me down the aisle.

Please stop worrying about me.

I am fine. I'm fine.

In a way, it sets me free.

I feel strangely liberated.

And he is still

your father, after all,

and if he wants to make

a complete and utter fool of himself

by trying in some

pathetically clich fashion

to recapture

his sorry state of manhood,

by hooking up with not even

a very attractive bimbo...

then if that's what he wants,

I'm fine with that.

Someone toss, please.

Now.

This is our reception area.

With out post-ceremony

champagne bar...

which is conveniently located

right next to our very own chapel.

Can't you picture

walking down this aisle?

In a coffin.

Sorry, it's just...

a little depressing.

Actually, nobody's ever

said that before.

Lewis... say something.

What do you think?

Well, I like it.

It's very clean.

Clean?

Is that what you want

our wedding day to be? Clean?

It's not... it's not pretty,

it's not intimate,

it's not romantic.

I'm just so happy

that I get to marry you.

I'm sorry, not to pressure you,

but this space does

book up quickly for Spring.

We have another couple...

Why don't we

give them a moment to think.

Ashley, Sweetie,

they plan the whole thing.

The food, the flowers...

even the place cards.

Think about how much

less hassle it'll be.

You think planning the most

important day of our lives is a hassle?

It hasn't even been that long.

Wouldn't Michael

look cool in that?

Hey, I did a good job.

Michael Sherwood would

look good in anything.

That's not the point,

though, okay?

Enjoy him,

and fool around with him.

Don't fall in love with him.

Why do you think

they call it 'falling, ' anyways?

It's not worth it to you

to spend on a wedding.

It's the most important day.

I was trying to kill

two birds with one stone.

Cheap is what that is.

You see cheap,

I see convenience.

Look at them.

They're like a walking

warning sign against romance.

Lewis is this anal, uptight geek

who has my sister under some spell.

Now all this formerly

semi-intelligent person thinks about

is diamonds and hairdos and bullshit.

It's like K-Mart.

How am I supposed

to know what it looks like?

Maybe go by and look

at it? Or maybe...

See? They don't

even like each other.

But this stupid spell they're under

makes them disregard all the facts.

They are fighting because they

love each other enough to care.

I didn't know it looked

like a K-Mart before I went there.

Once we got in there, you knew.

- I made a mistake.

Too bad you can't get

a divorce before getting married.

You could save yourself

in that stupid extra step.

I'm sorry.

- See?

What are you looking for?

- These dishes, they're perfect.

That's love, Halley.

Okay, fall once and you may never

be able to get back up again.

Geek!

Get out of here.

Isn't he adorable?

He's cute.

All right, Michael!

Way to get that goal!

Okay, guys, line up!

Okay, back up.

Let's give him some air.

Sherwood? You hear me?

Guys, back up.

Give him some air, all right?

Call the doctor.

I thought my parents' divorce

was the end of the world.

That was before

Michael died of a heart defect.

And the world stopped.

Or it should have.

I'm sorry.

What do you think?

I think it's 100 degrees out.

What am I supposed to do?

The only black clothes

I have are winter clothes.

I have nothing nice to wear.

I don't think it matters, really.

Look, this is... this is

dark green and it's really nice.

It's ugly, Halley.

I'm just trying to think

about something else.

Anything, for one single second.

I wanna look good for him.

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