How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days Page #5

- Ben,

- Ben, Ben,

- Ow, ah-ah-ah. Yes?

Maybe we should

get you to a hospital.

No. No, no, no, no.

No, you could have a...

Excuse me!

Uh-uh-uh, hey, hey,

can you hold still,

right there, hold still?

Okay, I'm sor...

Oh, ooh... oh.

Oh, yeah.

That's feeling real nice.

Ben... Ben...

I'm starting to feel

a little better.

Ben...

Ben!

Oh, my God!

You're fine.

Oh, you are totally fine.

Okay, come on, Rocky.

No, no...

Get up.

Ouch. Huh?

Yeah.

Hey, don't feel bad.

If I had a nickel for every time

I got in a fist fight

during a chick flick, whoo!

Uh-huh, right.

It really wasn't that bad.

Really?

No. I mean, the getting punched

in the face part sucked, right?

Well...

But the getting taken care of

after the punch... it was nice.

All right! Florence

Nightingale syndrome, yeah.

You want me to tape the game

for you tonight?

No need, my friend.

I'll be watching the Knicks

from the comfort of my

own home this evening.

- How'd you swing that?

- Oh, yeah.

What's good to grill?

- No.

- Heavyweight.

You're making the lamb.

Voil.

A woman loves a man

who can cook, yeah?

Bringing out the big guns.

- Let's go deep.

- I like it.

Why do they always

forget my bacon?

I can't believe

you got that guy knocked out.

Only for a few seconds.

He was the most adorable,

unconscious man ever. Mm-hmm.

Are you dating him, or are you

contemplating adoption?

Andie, I am loving

your notes on this piece.

Thank you, Lana.

When are you seeing him again?

Tonight.

He's invited me over for dinner.

Marvelous. I've got

a feeling about this one.

Thanks, Lana.

I hate it when she pops

her head in like that.

Ahem!

I never noticed it.

I heard that.

And Andie, tonight,

take smaller bites.

Oh, my God!

Disgusting.

I can barely eat over here.

You know you could've

been a candle

Come on in. Door's open.

I'm holding you so tight

You know you could've been

a handgun

- Hi.

- Hey, there.

I hope you brought

your appetite, girl.

Whew.

We got a feast tonight.

Hmm.

- And baby so, so sweeted

- Mmm...

Oh...

You know you could've been

some bird food Benny,

isn't that sweet?

Hmm?

Go on and pour yourself

a glass of wine.

We got diner in about five

and tip-off in about eight.

Great. I'm starving.

The way you do

the things you do

As pretty as you are

Ah...

Mmm...

You know you could've

been a flower

Ah...

If looks were minutes

You know you could've

been an hour

Oh...

Well, you could've

been anything you wanted to

So perfectly pink!

I can tell you

The way you do the things

you do, all right

The way you do

the things you do

Pour la pice de rsistance.

Ah...

Sheryl, Tori,

Sinead, Jewel, Fiona, Carly...

gang's all here!

Great.

Got two minutes to game time.

You walked into the party

Like you were walking

onto a yacht

You had strategically dipped

below one eye

Your scarf... it was apricot

Wow. Look at all this stuff.

- You had one eye in the mirror

- Those are cute and...

- As you watched

- I saw the...

- Yourself gavotte

- the new comforter.

And all the girls dreamed that

They'd be Ben's partner,

they'd be Ben's partner

And you're so vain

What you got in the box?

Oh.

You probably think

this song is about you

It's a baby fern.

Really? Oh, yeah?

Just like our relationship.

A helpless little baby

in need of tender loving care.

Don't you? Don't you?

Thank you.

You had me several years ago

- Turn it down.

- Ooh!

Okay, let's check out

the starting line

Have a seat.

For the New York Knicks.

- At the point, Latrell Sprewell

- Get ready. Mm-hmm.

Game two. Welcome to

the front row, madam.

Oh, oh. Here.

Mm-mm-mm, mm-hmm.

Dinner is served.

Chef's special tonight.

Lamb with a cherry glaze.

Start you off

with the main dish

right about there.

A few carrots.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey.

You okay?

It's beautiful.

Thanks.

You're beautiful.

The game, the whole thing.

I wish I ate meat.

Mary had a little lamb

Little lamb...

You have to take it away

before I gag.

This stuff's for cows.

- Hi.

- Hi.

How you doing?

Oh, aw, it's just

a little indigestion.

- You okay?

- Mm-hmm.

All right.

Uh, excuse me, m'am?

Do you happen to know the

score of the Knicks game?

Do I look like

the kind of person

who knows the score

of a Knicks game?

No, you don't.

Is something wrong

with the barley?

No, no.

My boyfriend thinks I'm fat!

And I can't eat

in front of him!

I can't eat in front of you!

- I have to go to the bathroom.

- I don't think you're...

I don't think you're fat.

I don't think she's fat.

What's happening?

Spre just turned up;

Knicks' ball.

Get the ball, man.

Oh, come on!

Throw it!

Oh! That was in!

- Oh, man!

- Oh...

Come on, get it back.

Come on.

Get the ball back,

get the ball back!

Jackson takes the ball.

A spin by Jackson.

- Get it back!

- No!

Damn!

And the time has run out.

- Damn!

- Pick up!

The Kings have beaten

the Knicks.

Their first win in the series.

Next game.

Well, that was fun.

Okay. 11:
25.

Sports.

Ah, there we are.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Then it's Mark Jackson with

a no-look pass to Kirk Thomas...

Sorry we missed the game.

Post, post. Reverse it!

Sprewell...

There we go, baby!

Oh, I can't believe

he missed that shot.

Take it, take it!

- 12 seconds left, the game...

- Pitch! Aah!

How the hell did you know

he was going to miss that shot?

...with a narrow Monroe move.

He always misses... the shot

...the way it ended...

- from the top of the key.

...as the Knicks

could not get off another shot.

Aah, man.

Houston never misses

from the top of the key.

Oh!

- Whoa.

- Mmm...

Does Princess Sophia

want to come out and play?

Who's Princess Sophia?

- No, no, no, no... no!

- Ow!

Aw, yo-yo-yo-you...

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

y- you're kidding me, right?

Princess Sophia?

Little, big, little,

big, I don't know.

We will find out!

Ah, you know,

hang on a second.

Ah, no, no.

All right, listen.

You can't name my... my member

Princess Sophia.

It doesn't...

Yes, I can.

Listen. L-L-Listen to me.

If-If you're going to name...

my member, all right,

you got to name it something

hyper-masculine, okay?

Something like Spike or Butch,

or Krull, the Warrior King,

but not Princess Sophia.

What did you just say?

Spike.

You know what I mean?

No, no, after Spike.

Butch.

After Butch.

Krull... Krull,

the Warrior King.

Does Kr-rull, the Warrior King

want to come out and play?

- Oh, come on...

- No.

...Krull.

You know what?

Due to...

intense humiliation,

the King has...

momentarily abdicated

his throne.

- Okay?

- Oh, uh-oh!

Yeah.

Well, in that case...

I'd better get going.

Take care of our love fern,

honey.

Hi. Mm.

Can I see you tomorrow?

Really?

I hope so.

Call me.

I will.

And I'll call you.

Sweet dreams.

Answer your phone!

What?

What was "icy" again?

"Arctic, freezing, frigid. "

How about "glitter"?

Thayer's favorite movie.

It was underrated.

Huh?

"Glint, glisten,

scintillation. "

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