How to Make Love to a Woman
Snoring
Dog barks
CLIVE:
Well, it soundslike you got the ball rolling
in the right direction, man.
What about this new girl
you just signed? What's her deal?
I'm teIIin' you, this girI Nomi
is reaIIy taIented.
She Iooks great, she sounds great.
I got interest from media outIets,
pubIicists.
I might have another
goId aIbum here, boss.
-[ Knocking ]
-Down, Toodles.
-[ Dog barking ]
-Toodles, shut up!
Hey, boss. I got so many demos
to get through here tonight.
If it's aII the same to you, couId we
just deaI with this aII tomorrow?
-Of course. l'll see you in the A.M.
-AII right.
-Hi there.
-Hi.
-Oh, you Iook great.
-Thank you.
Sorry I'm workin' Iate.
I just Iost my intern.
He says he's sick.
I think he's just hung over.
WeII, I'II be your intern.
-Wow.
-What does it pay?
I can start you off
with a IittIe fried rice.
Maybe some MongoIian beef.
You got yourseIf a deaI.
Are you sure you're ready for this?
This is reaIIy
how you find new artists?
Nah.
DEMO #2:
Rasta man, comin' at ya
DEMO #3:
l'm going to kill your cat!
l'm going to kill your--
Oh, I'm sorry you had to hear that.
Oh, seems like a day ago
Not quite like the last
And now l see him
walking far away
Blasting down the street tonight
One more reason
lt's a cold from the season
And l know that she'll be
pleasing me all night
Relieves all my cravings
l'm craving at night
She loves when l feel awake
She loves when l feel awake
She loves when l peel off
her clothing at night
Now it's seeming
like a ways away
Right around the street
And all of a sudden
l was seein' her face
She offers me a ride around
One more reason
lt's a cold from the season
And l know that she'll be
pleasing me all night
Relieves all my cravings
l'm craving at night
She loves when l feel awake
She loves when l feel awake
She loves when l peel off
her clothing at night
Relieves all my cravings
l'm craving at night
She loves when l feel awake
She loves when l feel awake
She loves when l peel off
her clothing at night
You think it's all
About you
You think it's all
You think it's all
Ooh, it's just Iike Christmas.
[ Screams ]
Yeah!
Relieves all my cravings
l'm craving at night
She loves when l feel awake
She loves when l peel off
her clothing at night
Relieves all my cravings
l'm craving at night
She loves when l feel awake
She loves when l peel off
her clothing at night
Relieves all my cravings
l'm craving at night
She loves when l feel awake
She loves when l peel off
her clothing at night
Relieves all my cravings
l'm craving at night
CLEANING WOMAN:
You better use a rubber!
And don't Ieave me any surprises.
Good night, Estaire.
[ Laughs ]
[ TeIephone rings ]
-Hi, is Andy in?
-Mmm, no.
Well, l was wondering if--
It's not that bad.
''Nomi sings with the emotionaI depth
of a 1 2-year-oId.''
See?
It's not that bad.
Just wait tiII the message boards
-ProbabIy wanna kiII yourseIf.
-Anything eIse?
Layne caIIed,
took a message. . . Iost it.
-You're doing great work here.
-Thanks.
My stomach is aII messed up now.
Maybe they're right.
Nomi, a 1 2-year-oId?
You are so taIented.
That's one person's opinion.
WouId I have fought for you so hard
if I didn't beIieve in you?
You had to fight for me?
CIive didn't want to sign me?
No, not at first.
But that's just how CIive is.
But once you've soId him, it's over.
You got him.
And then he's gonna put you
He's going to dump my aIbum,
isn't he? He's going to dump me.
He's gonna Iove you, Nomi.
I got you on the Iist.
You're pIaying this weekend,
showcase at The BonneviIIe.
He'II Iove it.
-Andy.
-No. Nomi, I don't wanna hear it.
You can do it, and you wiII do it.
Surprise!
Lauren. What's aII this?
Did you Iight candIes?
Drinking wine?
HeIIo, what does it Iook Iike
I'm doing?
I made your favorite dinner.
Oh, my goodness.
WeII, of course you did.
You Iook super sexy.
Thank you very much.
Wow.
Wow.
And you have no idea
what today is, do you?
Uh. . . .
Wait.
I know it's not your birthday
because that's in ApriI.
My birthday's in June.
'Cause we went to Big Bear.
We went to CataIina.
Right.
Is it my birthday?
It's our anniversary, genius.
It is?
Yeah, it's been a year.
WeII, no wonder you made dinner.
We have to ceIebrate
this wonderfuI occasion.
Mm-hmm.
Lauren, I'm sorry.
I've been crazy busy at work.
Oh, grumpy.
You're so grumpy.
GrumpziIIa.
Sourasaurus.
Look at you.
I'm so sorry, sweetheart.
Oh, you got bugs in your hair.
Dirty bugs in your hair.
[ Laughs ]
No, I don't.
When's the Iast time
you took a shower?
I just had one.
I don't know about that.
Hey.
You know you're the most
important thing to me, right?
I reaIIy am sorry.
Okay.
Happy anniversary.
Happy anniversary.
Um, Ioser, the Ieast you can do
is heIp me with the dishes.
You reaIize I'm gonna punch you
in the baIIs
if you knock one more thing over.
Oh, you reaIIy think you can do this?
Oh, you took too Iong there.
No. What, you think
you're gonna hurt me with that?
Come on.
Oh, you are in huge troubIe.
No! Oh, put me down!
Put me down!
[ Breathing heaviIy ]
[ Both moaning ]
LAUREN:
I Iove you.AND Y:
Oh, thanks.[ Andy moans ]
[ ChuckIes ]
[ Sighs ]
Nancy and I have incredibIe sex.
It's, Iike, unbeIievabIe.
David is the worst, worst Iover ever.
The first time we did it --
sex --
went to a restaurant and then went
And then, God,
she Iooked so good
I couIdn't even concentrate,
you know?
So, I took her back
to her apartment. . .
with my boner.
Yeah, you know, I can reaIIy
waIk myseIf to my door.
Yeah, you know what?
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Yeah, um. . . .
I'm gonna f*** you untiI you sh*t.
-Yeah.
-That is so hot.
And, yeah, on the tabIe,
on my bench, in the kitchen.
It's Iike that aII the time.
You know what I'm sayin'?
And it gets reaI oId, you know?
I mean, a IittIe spontaneity
every once in a whiIe,
it's a good thing, you know.
But, um. . . .
We don't --
We don't need forepIay.
I need forepIay.
You do?
Yeah.
Why have you never
brought this up before?
It just never came up
in conversation.
So, aII that time was. . . .
It was okay.
So, just okay?
Pretty decent.
That is worse than okay.
No. No, no, no. No, no.
See, decent is definiteIy
a IittIe bit better than okay.
And then pretty decent is just
a IittIe Iess decent than that.
No, there's a scaIe.
It's Iike horribIe,
get out of my room. . .
-Nah, pretty bad. . .
-No--
0 fans
Submitted on August 05, 2018
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"How to Make Love to a Woman" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/how_to_make_love_to_a_woman_10312>.
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