How to Stop Being a Loser

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What are you reading?

Aha, Mansfield Park.

I have never read Austen.

How is she?

Yeah? I was going to go and see

new Tarantino movie this weekend.

-Want to join us?

I'm busy.

Weekend thereon might?

What a weekend anytime suits me.

-What do you say?

-No.

Okay, okay.

When would it suit you?

I have a bad day. It would

be nice if I could be left alone.

It therefore means "no"?

-F*** you!

Okay, then.

Happy reading.

Wait a minute. Did it really?

-Yes. I still have the clipping.

It took three days to clean up.

One foot was in a schoolyard.

-Horrible.

-A little girl got it in the face.

I mean your friend ...

and the little girl, of course.

I'm starting to digress a little.

It's not the beginning of the story.

-Start from scratch.

I'm sorry.

I try to capture your interest,

so you think ... "He's interesting."

I'm not here

to be entertained.

Sorry ... I'm really sorry

that I have made you upset.

Now, you will not be my friend.

It started with my inability

To say the right thing at the right time.

Start from the beginning, James.

MISFI:

Good morning.

Geek

F*** you, loser!

Geek

D*ckhead

Unsuccessful

Idiot

Zero

-Hey.

-Hey, how was your day?

-Horrible. I got a football in the face.

Come and sit down.

Oh, thank you. Double burger with cheese.

I would f*** a donkey

a kiss from her.

Yes, it was good.

No cheese.

It was better. How was your day?

It took forever to work. Someone

idiot had thrown himself in front of the train.

So recklessly. Why does the

not from a building or something?

-Or in the sea.

-Just.

Jesus ... You should read this.

-What is it?

-Ldioten who threw himself in front of the train.

It's our idiot.

-That's Ian.

What I will miss him.

-I also.

Why did he say anything?

He should have said something.

It's so depressing. lan had

wished that we would have celebrated his life.

Hannah!

-Jeez!

-Hey.

-How have you been?

-Good.

James Bennet.

-Sure.

Ben-meister, JB.

-From School ...

Is that true?

-When did you come? How long were you there?

-L seven years.

-Some called me glans.

Yeah, right.

-James. How have you been?

-Good. Really good.

Besides today. Today is a sad day.

-How did you Ian?

I've only met him once.

-My parents knew him. What about you?

We were best friends.

We played Warrior Quest

and had pen pals together.

Are you going to go to the vigil?

-No, I do Pilates.

-Fun to be seen.

Yes, we should ...

So it was Hannah.

Player she not in another league?

She is half French.

-Poor Ian.

The only girl at the funeral

did not know who he was.

You're like one of the guys, Patch.

-I just got an email from Ian.

-Jeez.

-Maybe they buried him alive.

He has sent it before he died.

-A little geeky.

-I mean in a cute way.

-What is it?

It's a movie.

Hello, James.

This probably sounds crazy.

I have to tell you this.

I've decided to try

chat me up at a woman.

Does it not so ...

I have delayed the message ...

... You get it, you know what happened.

I Pallade no more. I have not

been with a woman since I was 18.

No one wants me.

I do not want to be laughed at.

I feel so alone.

I understand that you know how it feels.

But you are young. Promise me

not be a dejtls poor.

Go out and meet a wonderful girl

that you can live with.

Do not show this movie to anyone.

What sad. I knew

not that he was so oiycklig.

Poor Ian.

Should you take his advice ...

and learn how to talk to women?

I can talk to women.

I can. Piss off.

It was his last wish.

-Sir, you forgot Rupus.

-It cost me 700 pounds.

You kill the bats,

and then you f***ing woman ...

Hey, gang.

Are you kidding me?

No, come on.

Yeah. Would not it be cool if

began to greet each other like that?

-No.

-What was the big surprise?

-Not so great.

I have bid with Jenny.

-When?

-Tonight.

Why is that?

I can not talk to women.

I have a tuft of hair in the throat.

I can not get a word out.

She babbles a lot.

Be yourself sjiv only.

Then I'll just sweat

and it gets really embarrassing.

We're having fun.

AAR dddet ...

Our friend killed himself.

Is that the theme from Warrior Quest?

Yeah, I downloaded it.

What is Warrior Quest?

-A game I play online ...

- ... When I'm really bored.

He's a magician.

-A magician, actually.

-What's the difference?

A magician creates magic by

use the elements, while a ...

Uh, would ...

would you ... I need the loo.

Do you drink them all?

-Have you heard of a worse o?

-Never.

Omit evaluation.

That's my job.

I was desperate.

How would I know that a mouse click

would change my life.

Do not be a coward dejtls.

Pickup School of frlor ...

Hello, my name is Zeus.

Welcome to my world.

sex with six men during their lifetime.

I've slept with tusentaIs.

This has not always been.

I was a wimp.

The typical medeimttiga nerd.

Still a virgin at 25,

and just kissed by a woman.

Until I discovered how to picked up.

As Leonardo learned to paint,

or Mozart learned to play the piano

-So I learned how to pick up women.

I did not stop there.

My goal is to teach all men

to be as good on women-

-As I am.

My book "How to stop being losers" -

-Has sold over five million.

It's yours for 14.99 today.

It contains the 50 basic rules you

need to change your life.

What do I look like?

Do not be a wimp.

Order the book-

-Book a Zeus-seminar

and change your life ... today;

Super Cheap Pickup School

Ampersand.

Brothers, men.

Humanity. tonight Ampersand

learn art-

-Give you a tool that will

To help you-

-To get her clit to vibrate by

arousal-

-To get the p*ssy purr ...

of voluptuousness.

You will walk with me

monks to pleasures abode.

Yes, sad but true.

I have been like you.

Sad, lonely,

And constant masturbation.

Drawn a whacking, played hide violin

-Run a Miss Right.

But it's the end of it.

Because I intend to learn everything.

everything you need to know to get

Near the feminine form.

Let life smile upon you.

Segertget has begun. Questions?

Light, please.

Yes, the mature gentleman in the back.

Is this the retired single night?

No, it is not. The corridor

down and three doors on the left side.

Goodbye. Jackass.

Hi, I'm James.

-Where is everybody?

They're not here.

The website is pie.

How did you find out?

-Pure luck and ...

I read computer science.

I fixed the broken html code.

Then I could book a ticket.

It was great.

I'm very good at my job.

I'm brilliant.

Yesterday evening I had a threesome with

a mother and a daughter.

It sounds wonderful.

No, the mother criticized

daughter technique.

All right.

It is good problem to have

if compared.

MrAmpersand? Are you going?

Yes, I'll switch on and go home.

I have booked and paid

for pick-up school.

It's not about money.

I want to learn from you.

Der is not your day today, right?

You said you knew how it was to

be lonely and sad and ...

Constant masturbation.

That has never applied myself.

-Then you are not ready yet, right?

-Well ... constant masturbation.

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