How Video Games Changed the World Page #12

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You hear of people who would

sit there, especially men,

I have to say, who will sit

there with buckets or bottles

attached to their nether regions

so they don't have to move.

They can play constantly

and just pee in a bottle.

The cliched image of World

Of Warcraft players as addicted

shut-in husks neglecting

their own lives was memorably

satirised in

this South Park episode.

Mum, bathroom! What, hon? Bathroom!

Oh, that's a big boy, isn't he?

Yeah, never mind

World Of Warcraft,

that is the tragedy of all games,

isn't it?

The way they steal you away

from the real world where all

the normal people live

and encourage you to stay indoors.

Gaming is just such a sad,

sedentary pursuit, isn't it?

It's totally unlike, say,

the way you're sitting there

in a darkened room

passively watching me say this.

Box sets are the silver

bullet in this.

Everyone who complains to you about

playing Far Cry 3 for 30 hours

has sat through far more

of that in terms of Game Of Thrones

and Breaking Bad, all of which is

a pretty sedentary activity.

And no-one is down on box sets.

No-one is going,

"These are appalling.

"Box sets are making

our children fat."

So that's always been the one

I've gone,

"Slam! Have you watched a box set

recently?" "Well, of course I have

"because I have watched Dir Klurgen Furgen,

the new Scandinavian murderer thing."

How is that different to

playing Grand Theft Auto V?

Yes, you may learn a word or

two of Danish as it goes along

but it is exactly

the same experience.

In fact, it's more passive. At least

my thumbs are getting a work-out.

Never mind a work-out for

your thumbs, what about your other fingers?

Early video games were simple

and so therefore

anybody can sort of pick them up

and figure out what to do.

Then there were overlays

upon overlays upon overlays

of complexity to where,

if you picked up a PS3 controller,

it looked a little bit

like the cockpit of a 747.

The minute you went to

a one-button gesture thing,

it empowered a hole

bunch of new gamers.

That was really the power of it.

It sounds too good to be true.

Being able to play

a game of tennis on your lunch hour

and you don't even have

to take your suit off.

It was the first time you could

actually play games

with your family

and have a level playing field.

You know, you could hand the

controller to your grandma, your mum,

and say, "Let's play tennis,"

and they might well beat you at it.

And for a long-time gamer

that was a great experience.

Wii Sports is on our list, not because it's

one of the bestselling games of all time,

shifting over 80 million copies,

but because it's one

of the most accessible,

turning gaming into

an even more mainstream pursuit

that could be easily marketed

at anyone who can do this or...

this or... this.

Right, this one is my favourite.

Chop chop.

I'll cook for you, Marv,

if you want.

After the spectacular coming of the

Wii was the Microsoft Xbox Kinect

which did away with the controller

and instead watched you

with its beady camera eye

and judged your every action

like Orwell's Big Brother but fun.

The new incarnation of the Xbox

comes bundled with this more

advanced, bulkier version

of the Kinect which can now

analyse your heartbeat

and facial expression.

Gesture technology has now

dribbled out of gaming

and into other everyday gizmos like

smartphones and even televisions

which now routinely require you

to wave at them like some kind of peasant,

as we can see

from this unsettling advert.

And the gaming world hasn't finished

invading your life just because

it's taught you to perform a few

gestures like some kind of gibbon.

No, as we'll see, it's after

nothing less than your soul.

2007 was grim.

Even the launch of the spangly new

iPhone couldn't distract anyone

from the unrelenting misery

of the global economic crisis.

What could you do for

cheap escapism?

The cinema was full of

crappy threequels

and a new Transformers movie,

so that was out.

And thanks to the smoking ban, pubs

now stank of sweat and arse gas.

Fortunately, there was one form of

entertainment that still delivered,

and it chiefly delivered by letting

you shoot people in the face.

This action-packed epic is very much

the Citizen Kane of

remorseless gunfire.

Modern Warfare's about putting

you into the shoes of a soldier,

putting you in the middle

of a battle.

And not just as the lone superhero,

but as part of this giant machine.

It's a world going on around you.

The Call Of Duty franchise

is impeccably produced

and fun to play,

but also, so brutal, many find it

hard to stomach.

For my money, the most disturbing

mission in Modern Warfare

is Death From Above.

A mission that puts

you in an AC130 gunship

and puts a kind of grainy film

over the camera,

as you're looking down, shooting

at targets you can't even recognise.

It's the only mission

in Modern Warfare

that could be photorealistic

because the real-life footage

we see on the news from AC130s is

grainy, and it's tremendously

disturbing, because you can't make

out what these figures are.

It could be, it could almost

be a statement,

but it's not, it's just there so you

can have fun, and that's very dark.

Every Call Of Duty game seems to

have its banner moment, which is

almost deliberately conceived.

Oh, this is the level that will get

us all in the headlines

in the Daily Mail and the Sun,

and these are the things people

will complain about.

I think that's a little bit cynical.

The game's success also lends the debate

about violence an interesting new kink.

Many of the guns it features

are real-world weapons,

licensed with the manufacturer's

full consent.

It's a kind of grim product

placement which means the game

doubles as a shop window for future

gun owners, albeit inadvertently.

The trouble is, some of its more

fanatical fans

are the very last people you'd want

owning guns.

Or even rocks, to be honest.

F***ing come out of there, b*tch!

Go on! Get out!

F***ing lightweight and marathon,

you think you're f***ing good,

get the f***!

Call Of Duty is the prime example

of a game

with a horrible player base,

in terms of behaviour online.

Oh, my God! Get the f***

out, you stupid f***ing dosshead!

There's a joke that comedians tell

called The Aristocrats,

which is just basically just the most

offensive joke you can possibly tell,

and playing Call Of Duty with

a headset on is like listening

to a children's choir sing the longest,

most vile Aristocrats joke, in your ear.

For hours.

It's intolerable.

I swear to God, I'm going to come

over there,

I'm going to f*** your mom like

the pig she is.

All of that could lead you

to believe

that present-day gaming is horrible.

Not necessarily.

Video games are in an amazing

place right now.

Because you've got these giant

blockbuster games

that are like giant Hollywood movies

and then you've also got

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