Howard the Duck Page #2

- Are yu nuts?

I gt nintentin

f being stranded here.

I gtta get back.

- Hw, is anther matter.

- Yeah, right. We gtta get sme help.

But, Hward...

Oh, geez...

Hward...!

What am I gnna

dwith yu... ducky?

- his is humiliating.

- I just dn't want peple...

...freaking ut all ver the place.

- What abut me?

I'm gnna have to see

a psychiatrist...

...every day fr the rest f my life.

- Relax, we're almst there.

- Oh, gdy.

- Phil's a scientist. He can help.

- Hward, this isn't wrking.

- Tell me abut it.

Can I give yu

a hand with that?

- N, we're ding...

- What's in the bag?

I'm ding fine,

thank yu very much.

Let me ut f here.

- Excuse me. Can I help with that?

- N!

Yes!

Why are we stopping?

- Hi.

- Hi, Beverly.

We had an appintment.

We gt here as fast as we culd.

Gd... Listen, everybdy, this is it!

I'e just seen it!

It's in there!

It's a... it's...

It's... It's nthing!

It's nthing, never mind.

Carry n, Dr. Chapin.

his is amazing.

Man's Idest fantasy.

Acrss a sea f stars!

Lk up in the sky!

It's a bird!

It's a plane!

- N, it's a duck!

- Phil, yu gtta help us!

- What are we gnna d?

- Nice ducky.

Me Phil, yu Hward.

We be friends.

Undubtedly n f Earth's

greatest minds here.

Hey Phil, dn't talk to him like that.

He's just as smart as yu are.

- Nw I'm really depressed.

- Highly intelligent, perhaps even...

Wait, that's it.

We're abut to see...

...if subject has any abilities

we dn't have n Earth, any...

- What?

...shall we say, super pwers?

Hward!

Can yu bend this?

- What are yu, crazy?

- Hward...

...can yu burn a hle through this

with sme kind f eye laser?

Can I bite yur nse ff

with my super bill?

Hward, quit hlding ut.

I want yu to cncentrate...

...and read my mind.

- Right. Yu're thinking:

"hey knw I'm a phny.

hey knw I'm a y- y."

Tell me if I'm warm

n any f these, Phil.

I want yu to lk into the future

and tell me what yu see.

- I see myself walking ut that dr!

- Yeah, me to.

- N, n, n, wait! Yu can't leae.

- Yeah, why nt?

Because there are papers to be written,

there's research to be dne...

...and there's sympsiums to give,

lecture tours.

Hward, we are n ur way

to the Science Hall f Fame.

Lk ut, Darwin! Lk ut, Einstein!

Hell, Nbel Prize!

We're nt here

to make yu famus, Blumburtt.

Beverly, listen,

I never bad-muthed thers...

...in the scientific fraternity, but yu

bring in an alien in a bag to mst guys...

...and Wham!

They are talking.

Let's cut him into little pieces

and see what clr his rgans are.

I just wanna knw:

A:
What I'm ding here?

And B:

Hw I'm gnna get back?

Piece f cake.

A:
I'm just the guy to help...

And that's because B,

I'e already gt a thery.

- What thery?

- Well, this is, f curse...

...the evlutinary ladder

shwing hw man progressed...

...frm mnkey, to me, fr instance.

- Yu cnsider that progress?

Geez... Yu're all hairless apes?

hat's really disgusting.

Nw, I want yu bth to imagine

smewhere in the unierse...

...is Hward's wrld.

Picture it in yur mind.

A wrld

almst exactly like urs...

...except that the progenitor

f the dminant species...

...was nt a mnkey but a duck!

- Sme thery...

Every schI duck

knws this stuff!

And as duck climbed up

the evlutinary ladder...

...he said adis to his wings.

His mental capacity increases.

He begins to develp.

Beverly?

- Shpping malls?

- N, tribes.

Cr- Magnn Duck,

whultimately evlves into Hward.

Hey Blumburtt?

Blumburtt?

- Cme n!

- What the hell are yu ding?

- What?

- Dn't moe! Dn't breathe!

Did yu finish cleaning

up the specimen lab?

Almst finished.

Well, get dwn to the

Marine Lift Exhibit with a mp.

Sme kid upchucked

all ver the fern fssils.

Right.

Gd as dne, Dr. Chapin.

S, Philsey, yu are

a scientist r a janitor?

I'm a lab assistant.

- hat's terrific! Just perfect.

- Yep, I'm ut f here.

Lk, it's just a temprary jb

until I finish schI and get my wn museum.

- Yeah, stuffed yu'd make a great exhibit.

- Hward! Hward, wait!

- Typical hairless ape.

- Hward, lk, cme n.

Dn't flutter ff in a huff!

Beverly, listen...

...I've gt sme imprtant matters

to clean up here, but I'll call yu tonight.

I'll figure ut a way

to help Hward, I swear.

- Just dn't shw him to anybdy else!

- Yeah, they lk hungry.

- Get them a banana.

- Hide him! ake him to a mvie!

- I didn't knw where else to gfr help.

- Inside, Blumburtt.

- Cming! Cming!

- Hward, why are yu spissed ff?

Why? Listen, if yu gt blasted

millins f miles thrugh space...

...ended up

n anther planet...

...and were gien an I.Q. Test by a janitor,

yu'd be pissed ff to!

Lk, maybe yu are trapped

in a wrld yu never made...

...but I gt prblems f my wn.

My whle career is falling apart.

Yur career?

What abut my life?

- I'm stranded here, ship wrecked!

- Lk at this wnderful exhibit.

Yu see what I mean?

I'm a freak. An utcast.

- It's slife-like and realistic.

- Bug ff.

- Excuse me?

- I said, "beat it".

Mutants.

Yu, to.

- Leae me alne!

- What?

I dn't need any mre

f yur sympathy, yur charity!

Okay. Okay, fine.

I mean, I just fund smething...

I meet smebdy in a pretty weird

predicament and I was trying to help.

But if that's the way yu want it,

then slng, ducky!

- Dn't shed any tears ver me, tots!

- Yu can wallw in yur wn self pity!

Right!

Well, whneeds yu?

- I dn't need anybdy!

- Yeah, right.

Yeah...

Damn it! I can't sit here n my tail feathers

feeling srry fr myself.

I'e gt to think abut practical matters:

Fd, shelter... a jb.

Nw yu dknw

why yu were sent to me?

My cntinuing

streak f bad luck?

Yu'e been sent to me because

I'm famus fr finding jbs...

...fr little slackers like yu.

hat's right.

hey send me all the psychcases.

All the misfits.

All the phnies and

the fakers...

...whthink thatby traipsing in here

lking utlandish...

...they're nt gnna

be able to find wrk!

It's my fault I gtta shplift

at the little tyke sectin f gdwill?

I'm nt talking abut yur clthes,

I'm talking abut yur face.

Hey...

Yu think that by lking

cntroersial...

...yu're never gnna find a jb

and just gn cIlecting unemplyment...

...and liing happy

n the public dugh.

Well, dude, yu'e gt

anther think cming!

Because Cra Mae

always places her interviewee.

I'm gnna find

yur ass a jb.

hat'll wipe that snarl right ff yur face,

little whatever yu is.

In fact, I think I gt

just the psitin fr yu!

I gt a feeling yu're gnna take

to this jb like a duck to water.

Towels, ltin?

Antibitics?

It must be mating seasn.

Creepy little dude.

Hey! Shrty!

It's Hward, thank yu,

and I'm taking a break.

Pardn me,

Yur Alneness...

...but we seem to hae

a plugged up airjet in number five.

- And?

- And...?

And since yu are suppsed

to be the water expert I asked fr...

...yu are ging to fix it!

Oh n...

N, n, n, wait, wait.

I gt a better idea! Wait, wait!

- I can't swim!

- Whps, kid, guess I slipped.

Dn't mind me.

I leae that creepy little dude

in here to clean this place up...

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