Howard the Duck Page #3

Hw am I suppsed to run

a class...

Guess I slipped.

Just came by to tell yu:

I quit!

Excuse me.

Getting ff. My stop.

Hi, there. Hw are yu?

Gd to see yu.

Yeah, same to yu!

Urban jungle!

Geez!

- What is that?

- hat's a duck...

- What is that thing?

- hat's a duck, man!

Forecasting our week of fair weather

for you duck hunters...

...and for our lucky field reporter,

Steve Cannelli.

Well, Bob, it's time to dust off those

decoys and practice that squawking...

...because duck hunting season

has officially opened.

- Duck hunting?

- The Live Wild Commission...

...has actually doubled the limit

of ducks that can be shot.

- Sht?

- Reaction of the local hunters...

...has been enthusiastic.

This duck has come to America

with Duck-A-Roni.

N!

But if every hunter could blast

15 of those in the sky...

Hey, buddy,

what's the rush?

his way is todepressing.

Okay...

Give me a beat!

One, tw, three, fur!

Hney, I lve yu!

I lve yu! Cme n!

I'm right here.

Beverly, I'm yurs after the shw. Alright.

- Here's the mney fr the girls.

- I'll make sure they get it.

- Yeah, I'll bet. When?

- When?

When Bdacius Beverly

stops hIding n to me.

I'm gnna inite her up to my place tonight

fr a little career manipulatin.

I guess yu must be the girls' manager.

And if yu are...

...I dn't like the way

yu're talking abut Beverly.

And I want

the girls' mney!

- Ritchie? Wuld yu... What is that?

- Oh, lk, Ginger...

...I warned yu when yu gt into

rock management...

...yu'd be dealing

with entertainment types.

Yu knw,

different strkes and all that?

Hey, hey, different life styles is ne thing,

different life frms is anther.

I'm nt in a real gd md

tonight, Ginger.

I want the girls' mney.

Nw, is this gnna be easy...

...r is this gnna be truble?

- Hey Ritchie...

...tell it to gaway.

I'm nt up all my barnyard languages.

Okay, duck, ut! Yu're gne!

Yu're history!

Yu little wise pecker!

Arriederci, duck!

- Mallard in the side pcket.

- Adis, quack man.

Very nicely dne.

Hey, what's ging n

ut there nw?

- Alright, nw it's my turn!

- Hey, cme n, duck! Take yur best sht!

- You gt it!

- Ritchie!

Duck-kabb!

N!

Nearring in yur ther ear?

I'll just make the hle myself.

N, please, man, n.

Man, please! Dn't!

- he mney!

- Sure. Sure, here!

Yu take the mney!

Take it! It's yurs! Take it!

And, yu're nlnger

their manager!

Listen, kay.

Everybdy in here is a witness.

I'm letting the girls

ut f their cntract, kay?

Tell yur gns to stay back!

I'm warning yu!

- Stay back, Ritchie!

- I bite yur face...

...yu're a dead man, Ginger!

- What are yu talking abut?

Space rabies!

- Ritchie, is that a real disease?

- I dn't knw, Ging.

I heard smething

abut that n the news.

hat's right, space rabies!

Yeah, ne bite...

...and it's agnizing death in 15 secnds.

Bite, bite, bite!

We're all music lvers, huh?

Gd...

What a die.

- hse guys are a bunch f fIs.

- Obviusly the wrng crwd.

I'm running ut f sticks to thrw at peple!

Sucks!

- Nw wh?

- Lk, tell him to gaway.

Dwn here, dll.

- Is Beverly in?

- Ww!

Geez, yu must be K.C.!

- Meet Hward.

- Ww! Hi, h, Hwie.

We'e heard smuch abut yu.

Of curse, we didn't believe it.

Y, hw weird.

- Hi ducky.

- Hi tots.

Hw's the wrld

been treating yu?

- Guess.

- I was wrried abut yu.

- I missed yu.

- Well, sex appeal...

- Sme guys gt it... and sme guys dn't.

- Hward...

Listen, I'm srry we fught.

Yu're the nly friend I've gt here.

Hi, srry I missed the shw.

I came to watch yu undress, thugh.

And I brought a pizza.

Hward!

By!

hank Gd yu're back.

I'e been wrking n

the mystery f yur arrival.

What's he ding here?

Well, he and Rnette have srt

f gt back together.

I dn't knw wh's mre desperate

fr dates, yu r me.

What?

Anyway, Hward, I was talking

to sme astrol- physicists.

Yu knw, the guys whdiscvered

that Aztecs came from Mars?

- Well, these guys cncluded...

- N!

...that yu arrived here

in a space craft millins f years ag...

...and must've remained frozen in ice.

- Gaway!

- Rnette, culd yu shut this by up?

- Hward...

- What's a pizza?

- It's a circular Italian fd bject.

Hward, I didn't buy that thery either,

sI did sme research...

...and I discvered an ancient race

f large ducks wrshipped by...

...primitive Smans.

- Leae me alne!

I was barking up the wrong tree.

I knew that.

But tonight I am getting cncrete

evidence abut hw yu gt here.

- Yeah...

- Wait a minute. Oh, I gtta make a call.

- Phil?

- Nsex nw, I'm wrking.

Gt a place to stay tonight?

Oh yeah, by the way,

I frgt.

- I had a little talk with yur manager Ginger?

- Yu talked to that slime?

- What fr?

- I gt yur mney from him.

Ducky,

I can't believe this!

I alsgt him to agree that it was time

fr him to step aside as yur manager.

What?

Yu gt rid f Ginger?

- Mr. Duck, yu're wnderful.

- Yeah...

his is it!

I'm ut f here!

- Gd.

- Hward!

I'm abut to meet secretly with my cIleague,

and he's bringing The Feather.

What feather?

- What are yu talking...

- If it matches...

...it'll be the answer to all yur problems.

- Matches? N, yu dn't!

Stay away from me!

- Yu leae him alne!

- Let me thrugh!

Gd, get a grip!

I'm abut to unravel

the mystery f yur arrival!

- Cme back here, yu hairless ape!

- Yu'll hae time to thank me later!

- Get ut f here, geek!

- We're gnna be famus.

- Are yu kay?

- Ah, it's just my pride.

We'll ghme, ducky.

Alright.

Hey!

- Little tune I never finished.

- Yu play pretty gd.

I had a grup in high schl.

Hward and the Heartbreakers.

Oh, heavy, Hward, ery heavy.

Maybe yu shuld be ur manager.

Wait a secnd.

Maybe yu're just the kind

f bizarro-influence we need.

- Frget it. Nmre jbs here.

- I think yu'd be a great manager.

- I'm gnna suggest it to the girls.

- I'e gien up trying to assimilate.

I'e gtta get back

to my wn kind.

Althugh...

I have develped

a greater appreciatin...

...fr the female ersin

f the human anatomy.

Hward,

yu really are the wrst.

Cme n,

let's watch Daid Letterman.

Cme n.

Okey-dkey.

- Yu knw, I gt a feeling

my life's really gnna change...

...since yu fell into it, ducky.

- Yeah, well, I'm glad smebdy's happy.

If I culd just get my career

back n curse...

...I'd nly hae

the Id standard wrry left.

- What's that?

- I just can't seem to find the right man.

Maybe it's nt a man

yu shuld be lking fr.

Yu think I might find happiness

in the animal kingdm, ducky?

Like they say, dll, lve's strange.

We culd always gie it a try.

Okay...

Let's gfr it,

Mr. Mach.

What dyu mean, kay?

It was a jke.

Listen, I'm pretty tired.

It's just that yu're

sincredibly sft and cuddly.

Bev, let's be realistic.

I mean, my apartment's

zillins f miles from here.

Yu're three feet taller

that I am.

I just can't resist

yur intense animal magnetism.

Whps...

Anyway, where will it all lead?

Marriage? Kids?

A huse in the suburbs?

Let's just face it.

- It's fate.

- N, it's nt!

- I'e gt a headache.

- And I've gt the aspirin.

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