Howard the Duck Page #4

Be gentle.

Just ne gd night kiss,

sweet ducky?

Cme n, Hward,

I was just kidding.

Gd night.

My Gd.

his relatinship...

it defies all the laws f nature.

N, it desn't.

his is nt what yu think.

We're just very gd friends.

- Phil?

- I'm srry. he dr was pen.

- Whthe hell are they?

- his is my friend Carter...

...and this is Dr. Walter Jenning.

And I told them all abut yu, Hward.

Yu were bViusly right.

- Shw, shw him the evidence.

- What evidence?

We tested them, and they're bth

frm the same fwl.

Yu, Hward.

- My feathers?

- Hward, Hward, dn't gbeserk!

- N!

- On my planet, we never say die...

...we say kill!

- Nw, wait a minute.

Listen to me, small isitor.

I can explain

hw yu gt here.

Dr. Jenning is in charge f the

Astro-Physics Lab at Dyna-Technics.

- Nw, n the night f September 18th.

- hat's the night Hward landed.

Yes, nw n that night

we were initiating ur first...

...full scale test f the Laser Spectra scpe.

- his was sht during the experiment.

It was just a routine procedure

meant to measure...

...the density f the gases

that surrund the Alpha Centauri.

Hwever, part way thrugh the experiment,

there was a deiatin and...

...we lst cntrl

f the laser spectra scpe.

- What dyu mean, "lst cntrl"?

- Sme unknwn frce...

...was re-directing the laser beam

frm its riginal target...

...sthat it hit yur planet instead.

- Hit my planet?

Hw abut hitting my liing rm?

Talk abut an invasin f priacy.

When the beam hit, yu must

have been caught up in a massie...

...energy inversin, which literally

dragged yu through space...

...back to the pwer surce

here n earth.

- Radical.

- In the lab that night...

...we saw

a single feather fall.

We weren't aware that the rest

f yu, Hward...

...had landed in that alley

just twmiles away.

- Any questins?

- Yeah. Where are my pants?

- Hward, where yu ging?

- To this lab f theirs.

- What fr?

- To hp back n bard that laser thing.

hen all yu hae to dis hit the reverse

lever to send me back hme. Right?

Well, we hadn't cnsidered

reversing the process.

- I dn't think it's feasible.

- Me, either.

Nw, wait a minute.

If we culd generate...

...a strong enugh hyper-charge...

- Yu can't dthat.

Yu mean the reflex mde

might prvke a total reversal?

- It just might be pssible.

- It wn't wrk.

- Yeah.

- Sir.

Dn't, dn't listen to them, Hward.

I have gt yu bked n A.M. Cleveland.

We can get the cver

f Science Digest. We, we...

- Butt Out, fur-eyes.

- Yeah.

Lk, yu guys,

culd yu really send him back?

If we did, we culd establish

a cntinuing link between ur planets.

But, he wuld hae to leave tonight

while the alignment still exists.

We can't affrd to wait.

Yu mean I'm finally gnna breeze

this fly trap?

Ducky, this is what yu wanted.

Yu're ging hme.

- Yeah.

- Right.

Carter, call Larry hae him set up

the initiatin prcedure.

Tell him I'll meet him at the lab right away.

Yu and Blumburtt can bring Hward.

Yu are abut to make history

a secnd time, my little friend.

hanks...

but nce was plenty.

- Get to it.

- Right.

Yu knw, Hward,

we culd hld ut fr a PBS special.

Phil!

Bev, get dressed.

Aren't yu gnna see me ff?

Sure I am. I just hpe

they let yu take a carry-n bag.

Lk, I'm gnna put n these Plaroids

that we tok at the Club.

hanks.

hese'll help...

...r the guys back hme

are never gnna believe me.

- What's this in my bag?

- Suvenirs...

- I'm gnna miss yu a lt, ducky.

- BeV...

...I dn't belng here.

Yu knw I'e gtta g.

Yeah.

Lily had the dlphins.

Custeau, the whales.

Gudall the grillas.

I had a duck.

I culd have been

a cntender.

Bev?

I'm nt a real sentimental guy.

N, I bet yu were brn from

a very hard-biled egg, ducky.

Yeah.

But, I dkeep wndering...

Of all the alleys in the wrld

I culd have fallen into that night...

Why did it have

to be yurs?

Because, right nw...

...yu're the ne and nly thing

that's making it ery hard fr me to leave.

- here's nguard.

- We shuld gback then, huh?

Phil!

- What?

- Drive.

What are these alarms?

- Smething's happened.

- What's happened?

I dn't knw.

- hat is really cI.

- Right. Hld it!

Security!

My eyes! My eyes!

It explded again!

It was terrible!

We have nright to tamper

with the unierse.

his des nt hld well.

Is he kay?

- Get ut f the way!

- It's still ht!

Get them ut f here!

Head fr the emergency exits!

Hward,

where are yu ging?

- Larry, where's Dr. Jenning?

- Carter, cme here. Let me shw yu this.

He was pre-actiating

the laser spectra-scpe.

We lst cntrl again

and there was anther explsin.

And, Jenning caught

the full frce f the blast this time.

Is he alright?

Where is he?

Yu see the bttom f the spectra scpe

blew it to the wall...

...and Jenning just... just disappeared.

- Excuse me.

But is this gnna delay

my take-ff?

Is that... is that it?

hat's unbelievable!

Yeah. We brought Hward dwn

the first time, but what if...

My Gd, Larry, what if we brught dwn

smething else this time?

We're runding up all the scientists

fr yu in the lab, sir...

...but I think yu better take a lk

at this ther... this ther thing first.

A thing... Hansen?

Is that kind f precise, descriptie techniques

they're teaching Rkies nwadays? A thing?

I wanna knw what

they're ding with Hward...

- Excuse me, are yu in charge here?

- Yeah. Why?

Well, I wanna knw

why they're harassing Hward.

Wh's Hward?

He had nthing to dwith it.

Hward, Hward is just an inncent...

...thing?

- N, duck!

Just an inncent duck?

hey wnder why I'm asking

fr an early retirement.

- Yu deal with this.

- Wait a secnd, yu can't...

Kirby, yu gt

a "thing" in here, huh?

hing.

I'e had enugh!

I wanna see my lawyer.

I'e gt rights, yu knw?

I'm suing.

Yeah.

Gddamnit, Hansen, get in here

and get this friggen duck suit ff this nut!

Sir!

- Alright, get him!

- Hey, hey, let me g! Yu big afs!

On my planet we never say die,

we say...

- Nt my shrts!

- Why nt?

Yu perverts!

- Lieutenant?

- Lieutenant, there's nzipper.

here's nbuttons.

Nelcro, sir.

I think the suspect's stuff

is like inbard, sir.

- Yeah. I think he's fr real.

- If yur gns are finished!

Let gn me!

I'd like a wrd with thse

s- called scientists ut there!

- Oh, yeah? What abut?

- Abut when they can rev up that machine...

...and send me back hme.

- Listen, Hward...

I'm gnna gtalk to

the scientists ut there.

Yu are gnna gplay

sitting duck in a jail cell.

- Lieutenant, what's the charge, sir?

- Illegal alien.

Cme n.

- I'll get the car.

- Alright.

- Oh, a cigar!

- Alright, that's hw it starts.

Plice brutality!

- Hey, stop manhandling him!

- Hey, yu can't cme in here.

Here's anther ne

already lift.

- Oh, nuts, I dropped my cigar.

- What?

Fire!

- Fire...

- Oh, geez, that's all I need.

Slng, cpper!

Desperate ducks

cmmit desperate acts!

Freeze!

Bk him, duck!

Give her the keys to the cuffs,

flatft!

Yeah.

What are yu ding here tonight?

You gt nID.

- Lieutenant?

- What?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes