Hudson Hawk Page #13

Hawk looks up from the card. Kit Kat is gone, but

Butterfinger scampers in his place.

(CONTINUED)

58.

87 CONTINUED:
(3) 87

BUTTERFINGER:

Hey, Mr. Hawk, I got your stamps!

Good, Yogi...

HAWK:

Sighing, Hawk takes the huge sheath of stamps.

88

&

89

OMITTED 88

&

89

90 EXT. INDOOR TRAIN TRACK 90

One of the small Vatican mail trains bullets across an

indoor track. The viewer's viewpoint whooshes to catch

up, focusing on a very large package, addressed to the

Pope, that has Hawk's sheath of stamps slapped onto it.

The train zips into a tunnel.

91 INT. THE VATICAN UNDERGROUND SUBWAY 91

The train rumbles into the Vatican mini-station. TWO

HARRIED WORKERS heave up the strange cargo onto a sorting

table.

A bell rings as a clock hits 10. The workers do a sigh

of relief. Shucking off their uniforms, they head out.

A hand rips out of the huge package.

92 INT. OUTSIDE THE CODEX ROOM--NIGHT 92

Hawk pops out of the secret passageway door and moves to

the mouth of the doorless Codex room. He pauses to

hand-comb his hair in the two large, framed mirrors at

the sides.

93 THE CODEX ROOM 93

Carrying the now frameless mirrors in each hand, Hawk

hustles to the top of the steps and suddenly stops.

(CONTINUED)

59.

93 CONTINUED:
93

Hawk bounds down every other one of the steps down to

where the Codex is bathed in a holy light.

He hefts up the two now frameless mirrors and puts them

each in a groove of a collapsible yardstick running

across the top. The parallel mirrors now face out from

each other. Hawk sprays a blast of Clairol to reveal the

light sensor beams, and then with a deep breath, he

thrusts the mirrors into the beams.

The light bounces harmlessly off the mirrors and Hawk

exhales. He balances the connected mirrors then crawls

through his tent-like passageway.

Hawk squirts acid from a biker's bottle on the cracks of

the rectangular glass case that holds the Codex. The

acid sizzles.

94 INT. VATICAN LIBRARY HALLWAY--NIGHT 94

A BURLY GUARD thoughtfully stares at a painting, fingers

propping his chin like a critic then continues ambling on.

95 THE CODEX ROOM 95

Rubbing his head, Hawk gives an excited smile as the glass

cracks of the rectangular case loosen. Hawk pulls out a

pocket fisherman....

HAWK:

Kit Kat, how did you know about

that blue wire?

The Burly Guard is coming down the hall.

96 OUTSIDE THE CODEX ROOM 96

Burly Guard approaches the outskirts of the Codex room.

He combs his hair into the piece of wall in the now

empty mirror frame then REALIZES.

Muttering Italian into his walkie-talkie, Burly Guard

rushes into the room and looks down to the sensor

deflecting mirrors.

Burly Guard approaches the Codex and sees the dripping

acid. He also notices a fishing hook attached to the

binding of the Codex. The fishing wire leads out of

the glass case. The Guard reaches to touch it when

suddenly the wire is pulled tightly upward by a

moving-out-from-behind-the-statue Hawk.

(CONTINUED)

60.

96 CONTINUED:
96

The Codex FLIES off its perch, setting off the ALARM and

sending the bizarre cage/lamp CRASHING DOWN and AROUND

the hapless Burly Guard. The green gas commences its

noxious billowing as the Codex swooshes into Hawk's

hands. He then hurls a softball, smashing a window

on the other side of the room.

The familiar Vatican Guard and a Guard Three barrel

down into the mouth of the codex room. Only One

Gas Mask drops from the doorway. The Vatican Guard

pulls it on and gives a "That's Life" shrug of

shoulders to the fainting Guard three.

Hawk puts on the missing gas mask and launches a grapple

around the ceiling cord of the dropped Ornate Lighting

Fixture. Hawk then Tarzans from one staircase to

another. He then ungrapples and heads toward the

shattered window.

97 EXT. THE ROOF 97

Hawk flings off his gas mask and begins a classical

skipping-across-the-rooftop jaunt. Suddenly a brick

on the slightly slanted roof gives way and Hawk FALLS.

His canvas bag goes skipping down across the roof,

landing against the antennae.

98 INT. THE POPE'S BEDROOM 98

A T.V. showing Mr. Ed. speaking to Wilbur in Italian

goes Fuzzy. THE POPE, wearing his famous hat and a Notre

Dame bathrobe angrily bangs on it.

99 EXT. THE ROOF 99

Hawk harvests his grapple on the level part of the roof

and slides down toward the dangling-off-the-antennae bag.

The Vatican Guard pops out of the window and fires a

warning shot.

Hawk stretches to the bag. His fingers touch as the

Guard continues to bound forward.

HAWK:

Maybe I'll be lucky and he'll

shoot me.

Hawk pulls up the bag and turns himself to see Vatican

Guard hovering over him on the roof.

(CONTINUED)

61.

99 CONTINUED:
99

VATICAN GUARD:

The worm's on the other foot,

yankee noodle candy.

Hawk sees the Vatican Guard's foot move toward the

grapple. Hawk ferociously tugs, ripping the Guard

off-balance and knocking down a side of the roof.

100 EXT. TOP OF A NEARBY WALL 100

Hawk dashes atop a nearby wall and hurls his grapple

across a road around a tree branch. Hawk ties the end of

grapple line, tosses on a friction belt, takes a breath

and JUMPS OFF THE WALL.

Rising up, over the roof, the Vatican Guard aims a gun

at Hawk's sliding away back.

Suddenly, Tommy, in black-cat burglar gear, backhands the

guard across the face, sending him back down the roof.

The gun, bouncing down the front of the roof, goes off...

101 HAWK 101

is almost to the other side when the guns bullet hits

the friction belt. Hawk drops with a wild scream...

and lands with a painful straddle atop a street lamppost.

His eyes bug out with the thought of a life without

children. He slowly spins off the lamppost and sails

down upon...

102 EXT. A BUS 102

and the comfortable luggage housed on top of it. Hawk

tries to maintain his balance upon the wobbling

baggage, but the bus makes a quick turn and Hawk goes

flying off...

103 EXT. RIGHT INTO A CAFE CHAIR--NIGHT 103

Panting and discombobulated, Hawk looks across the table

to the female hands holding open a menu. The menu comes

down. It is Anna. Hawk unpretzels and laps his canvas bag.

ANNA:

Oh I was worried you weren't going

to drop by....

HAWK:

Am I late? You look really nice.

Did I say really nice?...

(CONTINUED)

HUDSON HAWK -Rev. 8/8/90 62.

103 CONTINUED:
103

What?

HANK:

WAITER:

I am the Waiter, sir.

Hawk does the honor sign with his black gloved hand then

quickly rips it off as a WAITER comes to the table.

HAWK:

Very nice. Fettucini con Funghi

Porcini, prego.

WAITER:

Bellissimo, signor.

HAWK:

Oh, and bring me a bottle of

ketchup with that too, will you?

ANNA:

You heard him.

104 EXT. ANOTHER TABLE--NIGHT 104

At a comfortable distance curled behind a heat lamp,

Snickers, Almond Joy, and a hapless Butterfinger are

being Uglier Americans to an UNCOMPREHENDING WAITER.

BUTTERFINGER:

Come on, Pierre, Steak-bur-ger,

Fren-n-ch Fries. This is France,

you gotta have French.....

ALMOND JOY:

Actually we're in Italy, Butterfinger,

she said as if it made a difference.

The Waiter sneaks off.

an entire baguette.

Butterfinger spreads butter over

SNICKERS:

Italy, France, Moscow. They all

just wanna be Nebraska. Old Man

Kaplan thinks since Communism is

dead, we got nothing to do. Man,

Democracy is not just free

elections. We gotta show the

world that Democracy is Big Tits,

College Football on Saturday

afternoons, Eddie Murphy saying

the word "F***" and Kids shoving

their hands down garbage disposals

on "America's Funniest Home Videos."

(CONTINUED)

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