Hudson Hawk Page #4

TOMMY:

Just means it'll take you an extra

thirty-one seconds to seduce.

HAWK:

I'm not worried about the safe.

What about the three guards? Do

you know any of them? What about

the electronic video surveilance?

TOMMY:

I got a plan.

HAWK:

Oh, you got a plan?

TOMMY:

Yeah, I got a great plan.

HAWK:

What the f*** am I doing? I just

got out of jail and I'm robbing

some auction house, stealing some

vercachte horse with you. I should

be out right now buying a New York

Post, looking at the want ads and

getting a job selling spatulas.

EDDIE:

Eddie, Eddie, I'm moving too fast.

I'm putting out a fire with kerosene.

HAWK:

What is this?

TOMMY:

That's five seconds. My record's

eighteen.

HAWK:

You think this is funny. This is

your idea of a joke! Can't we

just not do it? How many seconds?

TOMMY:

How many seconds what?

HAWK:

On the cuffs.

REPLACES 15A/16.

TOMMY:

Well, not counting your bitching

and whining... I'll be nice and

say eight.

HAWK:

I ain't never going to get

rehabilitated this way, Tommy.

TOMMY:

You think you still got it?

HAWK:

That's what I'm afraid of.

TOMMY:

I left my heart in San Francisco.

HAWK:

4:
12.

INSERT SHEET FOR PAGE 18.

TOMMY:

I'm getting very enthusiastic here.

All these years and I still get

the juice.

HAWK:

Let me ask you something. Whatever

happened to sex? Men and women.

Me and women.

TOMMY:

I'm not worried about the pool

break-in. It's the guards.

HAWK:

A couple of drinks, some burning

candles, "My, that's a lovely

gown you're wearing," "Your eyes

are like Arizona", or, "Give me

a blow job."

TOMMY:

Eddie, you're bumming my high.

We'll hit some clubs on the way

back, OK? Com'on, it's showtime.

"Mack the Knife."

HAWK:

4:
17.

TOMMY:

"I only have eyes for you."

HAWK:

Why Tommy, I didn't know you cared.

3:
22.

TOMMY:

"Xanadu."

HAWK:

4:
19.

TOMMY:

Star Spangled Banner. Whitney

Houston. Super Bowl 17.

HAWK:

7:
12.

TOMMY:

You're full of sh*t.

HAWK:

Let me ask you something. How come

we're not out getting laid.

HUDSON HAWK -Rev. 7/18/90 18.

15A CONTINUED:
(3) 15A

HAWK AND TOMMY:

"Together. No way we lose."

HAWK:

Yeah, except when I got put away

for eleven years... I'm never going

to get rehabilitated this way.

Hawk picks up another bar remnant. Beneath it is

black cat burglar outfit.

15B OMITTED 15B

thru thru

15D 15D

16 EXT. 57TH STREET--NIGHT 16

Hawk and Tommy look up to the pool room. The viewer

follows...

17 INT. A POOL AREA--NIGHT 17

Hawk and Tommy crash through the door into the pool room

and its wobbly reflections of light. An ANCIENT JANITOR

drops his mop in shock.

JANITOR:

Hey, what are you guys doing here?

I thought you came on Thursdays.

TOMMY:

Emergency situation, pool's infested,

with...

Hawk and Tommy glance to each other then back to the

Janitor.

HAWK TOMMY:

Sea Monkeys. Sea Monkeys.

JANITOR:

Sea Monkeys?

TOMMY:

Yeah, kids order them from the

back of comic books.

(CONTINUED)

HUDSON HAWK -Rev. 7/6/90 19.

17 CONTINUED:
17

HAWK:

Moms flush 'em down the toilet.

TOMMY:

You got a gas mask?

JANITOR:

No, why?

HAWK:

You may want to get out of here. We're

going to be spraying some toxic...

TOMMY:

Stuff.

JANITOR:

I'm leaving anyway. It's the end

of my shift.

TOMMY:

Sex monkeys?

A18 EXT. OUTDOOR SUNDECK--NIGHT A18

Hawk and Tommy emerge on the roof and quickly clip two

of the ropes together while tying a lifesaver at each end.

HAWK:

Want me to throw it?

TOMMY:

You kidding? I got an arm like

Sol Maglie.

HAWK:

Who's Sol Maglie?

TOMMY:

The barber. Hey Hawk, look down.

Look down, buddy. Come on, your

shoe's untied.

HAWK:

(laughing)

Shut up...Whoa, did you say this

thing only holds 900 pounds?

(CONTINUED)

HUDSON HAWK -Rev. 7/6/90 19A.

A18 CONTINUED:
A18

TOMMY:

That's cold Hawkins.

HAWK:

Somebody's stealing your Caddy

down there, look...

TOMMY:

Cut that sh*t, you know I can't look

down. It makes my balls tingle...

HUDSON HAWK -Rev. 7/6/90 20.

18A EXT. THE LEDGE OF RUTHERFORD'S 18A

Hawk and Tommy climb up onto the building. Tommy

quickly undoes the lifesaver and throws it back to the

other building's deck.

HAWK:

What's the matter with you?

TOMMY:

Covers our tracks. We'll leave

through the basement.

HAWK:

Now we have no choice, do we, Mr.

Sal Maglie.

TOMMY:

What?

HAWK:

Better make the hole a little

bigger.

TOMMY:

Don't worry, you f***, I'm wearing

my girdle...

Tommy pops out the hole of the glass...

Hawk and Tommy emerge through a men's room door into a

hallway. Directly below a swerving camera.

HAWK:

Auction Room's through that door.

TOMMY:

We've got another stop first.

As the camera swerves one way, they bolt off another.

Hawk and Tommy slide across the wall to a closed room

marked POWER.

KLASTORIN:

Wong's in the phone book.

BOTH:

Helluva lot of wong numbers.

SCOTT:

Count the Chins.

INSERT 20A.

HAWK:

Is this it?

TOMMY:

Yeah.

HAWK:

You got a key?

TOMMY:

No.

HAWK:

Just checking. Tommy.

TOMMY:

What.

HAWK:

Are the Mets playing tonight?

TOMMY:

They're playing at Shea.

HAWK:

Figures. I got to be robbing an

auction house.

TOMMY:

Since when are you a Mets fan?

HAWK:

I've always been a Mets fan.

21.

19 OMITTED 19

20 INT. THE POWER ROOM 20

The wires go up to a row of seven humming, RECORD button

flashing V.C.R.s. Hawk and Tommy stand before them,

sharing a cig.

TOMMY:

They record everything their

video surveillance takes in...

HAWK:

I can see that, master-thief. You

said something about a plan...

Tommy presses the REWIND buttons on the V.C.R.'s.

TOMMY:

Am I boring you, smartass? Watch.

A little rewind and re-play action

and the Guards are going to be

watching a rerun and they're

going to miss out on tonight's

exciting episode.

21 INT. SEVENTH FLOOR AUCTION AUDITORIUM--NIGHT 21

Moving beneath a video camera and a dazzling set of

Hanging Horse Mobiles, a Heavyset guard, BIG STAN, moseys

through the dimly lit main auction house auditorium. The

auditorium chairs are strewn out in the middle beside a

turbo Floor Washer.

Next to a painting of Happy Children Riding Horses at the

back of the auditorium stage, Big Stan hefts himself upon

a comparatively TINY BLUE CHAIR and begins to tip back

and snooze.

22 INT. GUARDS' STATION 22

The Security Guards look to the seventh floor screen to

see an unfolding shot of Big Stan mid-snooze.

DEAN (Klastorin)

Hey, Jerry, come here. Check out

Big Stan...

JERRY (Scott)

Big Stan!

23 THE AUCTION AUDITORIUM 23

Startled by his walkie-talkie, Big Stan falls back on the

little chair, crunching it to the ground.

22.

24 THE FIRST FLOOR 24

The laughing security guards see the crunch.

25 INT. THE POWER ROOM

HAWK:

You figure this all out by yourself?

25

TOMMY:

Yeah.

HAWK:

It's a good plan.

TOMMY:

Thank you. We got about five

minutes and change.

5:
32.

HAWK:

"Swinging on a Star."

TOMMY:

You know they invented something while

you were inside. Called a watch.

Hey, Tommy.

HAWK:

What?

TOMMY:

Shh!

HAWK:

Would you like to swing on a star.

TOMMY:

Carry moon beams home in a jar.

Tommy goes up to a circuit box and pulls down two large

switches. Strenuously upbeat Ray Conniffesque singers

continue to sing the song, orchestrally accompanied, when

Tommy and Hawk are not.

26 OMITTED 26

26A THE GUARDS' STATION 26A

The lights of the floor wobble and die. The console

screens blink off. The Security Guards stop laughing.

Hey!

SECURITY GUARDS:

What the...

Security Guard One harrumphs into a standing position...

26B OMITTED 26B

27 INT. HALLWAY -SEE INSERT PAGE 25AA 27

Hawk thunders through the dark hallway, rounding a corner.

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